


Do You Trust Me?

by kani_d, MissBlackRaven



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Eventual Smut, Fights, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Long, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Slow Burn, Smut, Virgin Hisoka
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:20:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 57,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28375302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kani_d/pseuds/kani_d, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissBlackRaven/pseuds/MissBlackRaven
Summary: Summary: Illumi was sent on a typical Zoldyck’s mission in Meteor City. It just so happened that Hisoka’s traveling circus was also in town. The unexpected turn of events leads to a lifetime of twists and turns.
Relationships: Hisoka & Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 49
Kudos: 114





	1. The First Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This series was started as a role-play session between two friends, Raven (author of HisoIllu fanfic "You Are Darkness") and Kani. As time went by, we realized that our writing style compliments each other well and we have tons of similar headcanons. Needless to say, we had to turn a one-off roleplay session into a multi-chapter fic. Please keep in mind when you read this work that there were two people responding back and forth to create this narrative.

Meteor City,  
Hisoka: 16 years old  
Illumi: 12 years old

Hisoka stands behind the curtain, shuffling his worn deck of cards. They have a big crowd tonight - the gigantic circus tent is completely filled with happy couples, beaming faces of children and curious parents, and other bored souls. The audience comprises of big wigs, influential politicians, famous business people across all of Meteor city to teenage outcasts who had to save up for weeks to afford the circus ticket. No matter who you are, the traveling circus is always a treat whenever it passes through town. Even in this grimy crime-ridden place, citizens of Meteor city deserve a few moments of joy and wonder.

But for Hisoka, it's just another night of the same old, same old. Hisoka just turned sixteen a few days ago. He has learned all that Moritonio Troupe has to offer - and then some. The teenager picked up Nen and Hatsu extremely quickly and has started to develop his own method of using Nen abilities. Perhaps, he's starting to outgrow this circus life: “I'm so bored. Hopefully, something exciting happens tonight.”  
***  
It is just another job, the usual. In-and-out, quick kill. Unseen, unheard. A nonexistent shadow, executing the will of a coward. Illumi had to go all the way to Meteor City for this one. A decayed place with a nauseating smell dripping from every corner. Illumi examines the massive tent in front of him; the blinking lights and cliche music makes him feel out of place, like a convicted soul blending in with the mortals. 

He makes his way through the frayed old fabric. The spitting image of stealth even though he's only twelve years old. He has been training all his life in the art of assassination, proving himself as a valuable asset for his renowned family. This particular job is not even a challenge. His target is sitting in plain sight, oblivious about his inevitable fate. 

Illumi thumbs a few pins he keeps hidden in his sleeve. Yes, a quick kill would be the best choice. But he's in a circus; why not take the chance to have some fun? He moves closer toward his mark.

He wasn't supposed to find joy in his work; his father told him that. But he does.  
***  
Hisoka is on tightrope & juggling tricks today. He has on one of his loudest and brightest outfits - bright green leotard, orange leggings, purple shoes adorned with gold glitter trimmings. Not his favorite color combos, but it's helpful to catch the audience's eyes. Especially when your act is several dozen feet up in the air.

The teenage performer steps out into the limelight. This moment - when the spectators first have a glimpse of him, unaware of what would come next yet already on edge to enjoy the unknown wonder - it's the best part of his job. It doesn't really matter who is in the audience, nor what act he does. It's the power and attention he commands from the crowd in that exact moment: pure awe in the form of instant hypnosis - that keeps Hisoka feeling alive.

Hisoka gets on the landing as the crowd erupts into thunderous applause. Not a single set of eyes can look away nor dare blink as the beautiful red-headed teenager starts balancing himself on the tightrope. Hisoka takes a few small steps towards the middle of the rope, pretends to topple over slightly for the theatrics, drawing out "Ooohs" and "aahhs" from his mesmerized audience. Performers do enjoy getting drunk on the public's attention, after all. 

Once the murmurs die down, Hisoka throws four clubs up in the air and expertly juggles the set as he balances with just one foot on the rope. From this view, he can see all of the circus tent. All of the other performers, the customers, the guards, the animals... everything is right beneath his eyes. At this moment, Hisoka does not feel like the child that got left behind by his own mother for a traveling circus. Not a poor entertainer living one day at a time passing through a criminal town. Not an act made up of bright glitters and flashing lights and learned tricks. He, for once, feels like he's on top of the world.  
***  
When the redhead teen emerges from the curtain, Illumi waits. He needs to find the perfect moment and that flamboyant act seems to give him the opportunity he was looking for. Considering it is performed at a great distance from the ground, all of the attendees are looking up like mesmerized idiots. Illumi waits, not yet.

Suddenly the teenager starts juggling, and even he can recognize the dexterity needed for such a feat. Still, he focuses on his target, a politician who's been involved in dirty businesses, what a surprise. He's looking up, astonished by the performer, implicated with his eyes in every toss and catch of the clubs. Everyone sitting next to him seems filthy rich as well, especially the women, with their oversized hats and frilly dresses. Perfect for covering up a killing hand approaching from the back. 

Illumi's wearing all black, except for a dark purple vest where he hides even more pins in case he needs them. It is hot inside the tent. He feels a few strands of his hair from his ponytail sticking to the back of his neck. He needs to get that over with and leave. 

One step, two, three. By the fourth step, the man is dead. Walking behind him with the advantage of the distraction, he managed to stick a pin through the man's carotid artery and another into his nape. That way, no one would suspect the man is dead until the act is over, and the corpse continues to look up. Wearing the same expression of surprise. 

The job is done. Illumi contains a smile.  
***  
From the corner of his eyes, Hisoka catches a glimpse of movement below in the luxury suites. That's odd - usually, no one leaves their seat during his acts. The audience always focuses on him, drinking up every single drop of theatrical flair and colorful magic. It is rather peculiar that someone is leaving...

And not just leaving the suite. The person is leaving the tent, silently and quickly. Nobody seems to notice this individual's movement but Hisoka.

He carries out his act as usual and finishes the performance with a standing ovation and goes backstage. He's frustrated that some fool out there did not find joy in his performance and even dared leaving midway through.

Then he heard the commotion.  
“What's going on? What's with all the noise? Did someone get injured? Was the knife thrower messing up again?”  
“No... some politician got assassinated in the crowd, probably right in the middle of your act. We're in big trouble now - we need to pack up and leave before his people or the cops get here. Did you see anything up from where you were?”. A circus manager passes by, doling out updates and questions, but never actually cares to stop and listen for an answer.

“Ah, so that's what it was. An assassination. The murderer of course had to escape - not because they were bored with my act. I guess that's somehow more forgivable. But then... I must go meet this assassin myself. I have never met a person capable of killing before. This feeling... is thrilling... it's getting me excited all over”, he thinks. 

Hisoka sneaks out of the tent, heading in the direction where he saw the assassin went. Slender build, ponytail, black suit, with just a peak of a purple vest. Easy enough. Hisoka comes up behind a shadow on the trail right behind the circus, away from the screaming crowd exiting with pure hysteria.  
***  
lllumi hears the faint echoes of the shrieks coming from the circus. His felony was discovered just in time. He's sure that no one saw him kill his target thanks to the darkness of the suite and the colorful boy expertly executing his act. Still, he's not satisfied. 

His heart is pounding loud in his chest, his hands are shaking ever so slightly. If his father ever finds out about how he risked the positive outcome of a job just so he could get a creative kill, he was as good as dead. 

It was worth it. He nods to himself. 

He wonders how it would feel to live in a traveling circus. Owning nothing yet every ounce of freedom for himself. He almost hated the teen in purple and golden shoes, playing with life like a daredevil. No, it isn't "hate" probably envy. Who knows? His emotions are diluted and distant. He keeps them at bay to avoid having to feel them. 

He snaps out of his mind shortly after, getting to an alley and giving himself some time to breathe. The job is done, I have to go back home, he thinks.

He takes his ponytail and loosens it completely. His hair fans out like a cascade, deep dark strands of silk falling against the moonlight. It's not that long, just beyond his shoulders, but it's his only vanity allowed. 

Illumi takes a deep breath; his face seems like a white canvas waiting for someone to instill even a hint of emotion into his dark eyes. He keeps walking; he needs to go to the outskirts of town where his butlers can pick him up without raising suspicion. 

There's nothing left to do here.  
***  
Hisoka activated Zetsu, concealing his Nen and presence from the assassin. He creeps up slowly and is finally only a few paces away from the murderous stranger. The killer's outfit is simple, yet elegant and radiates wealth. He's still very young himself - also a teenager it seems. His classic black outfit with a pop of royal purple is a stark contrast to Hisoka's bright green & orange cheap costume. A wealthy person killing a Meteor's city politician? This is turning out to be just like a noir movie plot. What glamour, opulence, and violent corrupted richness is he getting a peek into?

Hisoka realizes that he's very much in danger. He could be killed if the assassin realizes that the performer has seen the kill being carried out. But at the same time, it would be a once in a lifetime chance to test his new skills against a real opponent - a true fighter who could murder a grown man in a blink of an eye. He decided it's worth the risk to get the killer's attention.  
“I saw what you did to that big wig in there.”

Hisoka releases his Zetsu and stands up straight, firmly grounded right behind the assassin, ready for whatever might come next.  
***  
A presence unleashes behind him, a threat most certainly. Illumi feels the strong aura invading the place, surrounding him. There is no point in running anymore. 

A voice, young but deeper than his lets him know his assassination wasn't perfect. He was seen; that is a loose end he can't leave untied. He turns around, already reaching for the pins in his sleeve, ready to face the accusatory voice and silence it forever. 

In front of him, there is no one but a teenager. The very same one he saw expertly dangling on the tightrope. He is still wearing that ridiculous outfit, which, seen from up close, seems cheap and crooked. His red hair is messy but bright, and so are his golden eyes. His confidence makes him seem dangerous. Either he has an unfulfilled death wish, or he is plain stupid.

“Is that so?”, Illumi tilts his head to the side and pats his chin with his index finger. “You are a liability then.”  
Illumi releases his Zetsu. He's not used to close-combat, but fighting without hiding feels somewhat empowering. His face doesn't change; he doesn't seem startled nor worried. His voice sounds even casual like it belonged to another person a long time ago. 

From the same hand that was close to his face, Illumi produces three pins and sends them flying toward the performer. He wants to get this over with fast and forget his inaccuracy.  
***  
As the assassin turns around and releases his immense level of Zetsu, Hisoka feels a sudden rush of emotion weaving through his whole body. What a gorgeous face! Those large black eyes look directly back at him with no visible emotion, glimmering against his porcelain skin in the starlight like a pair of onyx stones- dark, and hypnotizingly beautiful…  
whoosh…  
... and apparently deadly too. The three pins flying right by Hisoka's cheek, as he just narrowly dodged, are definitely charged with murderous intent.  
“Now, now. Is that how you rich people say hi? I just wanted to let you know that I was impressed with your skill. No one in the audience saw what you did, but me.” 

Hisoka steps gingerly, one foot in front of the other, also at a skipping pace circling around the little assassin now.  
“Did you see my act at all? Did you see me up in the air? Or were you too busy killing that guy you missed out on my magic?”

Hisoka suddenly shoots out a Nen-infused playing card at the long-hair teen's neck.  
***  
The performer exudes confidence and manages to dodge his pins. That's a feat on its own. He saw the kill, he says, not in an accusatory way. Is he showing admiration? It is probably all a big bluff anyway, a distracting attack to his ego to make him lower his guard. 

He starts walking around him. Is he studying him? What is it that he tries to see with those radiant golden eyes full of mischief? And why is illumi feeling exposed under his gaze?

Something comes flying towards his neck. Is he trying to kill him as well? Illumi manages to dodge the playing card, which still slices a few strands of his hair. He will not make that mistake again.  
“You keep saying I am rich, is it money that you want?” Illumi produces a few more pins and keeps them in his hands. “Was it you up there on the rope?” 

He knows it was him; it was a pretty unmistakable person. But he is annoying, and Illumi just wants to erase any trace of his incompetence.  
“I saw you; your overacted theatrics served well as a distraction for my target.”

Illumi makes his nen flow into his pins. Maybe he would not kill the performer, but he'd make a pretty doll. He shoots two pins right to his face, and a third and fourth one, a millisecond later, left and right of his new objective.  
***  
Hisoka senses the first two incoming projectiles and jumps to the air doing a triple flip with his impossible acrobatic skill. Once again, it feels like he's putting on a show for an audience of one. However, he didn't quite notice the second pair of pins that got sent out just right after going in the opposite direction - a strategic decision by the assassin as he was able to calculate Hisoka's moves. He must have known the performer would be able to dodge the first two pins and would have to move in either direction to evade the initial attack. With trained athleticism and a sprinkle of sheer luck, Hisoka only suffers a gaping hole in his outfit as he quickly spins out of the way.  
“No, I don't want money. Will I take yours if I were to defeat you? Sure, why not. But getting to fight you is my main event for tonight.”

Hisoka lands gracefully and quickly balances himself in a slight crouch pose just in case he needs to be on the move again. Calculation won't work on this professional killer, he has way more experience than Hisoka. He can read all potential practical moves and counter them easily.  
“Glad I was of service to you. I'm honestly flattered you knew who I am! By the way, your attacks are all medium to long-range. What would happen if…”

Hisoka charges towards the assassin at an impossible speed, with the arrogance and conviction of a soul that has nothing to lose.  
“... an opponent has the upper hand in close-quarter hand to hand combat?”

Hiso chooses to let his body take over and not fall victim to cliché strategies. Perhaps chaos can beat structure; the scrappy unskilled one can beat the classically trained.

Hisoka shifts his weight onto one leg as he's within striking distance, and pivots to land a powerful roundhouse kick on the other teen.  
***  
lllumi sees the performer's moves turn from elegant and artistic to brutal and chaotic. The kick almost catches him off-guard, but he docks to avoid it. It was an attack filled with bloodlust, a desire to destroy, unknown to the assassin.  
“So you want to fight me?” 

Arrogance, he could relate to that. After all, he was close to number one on his job. A mere circus freak could never best him in a fight.  
“Bold of you to assume an assassin is not trained in close-range combat.” 

That wasn't a lie. Illumi was trained for all sorts of combat. Even so, this was not his preferred fighting style; the disadvantage was real. 

His hair was getting in his eyes, narrowing his field of vision. The performer was unpredictable and raw, like an animal driven by pure instinct, and he was getting on his nerve too. 

Illumi turns his delicate pale hand into something less human. It looks like a claw of sorts.  
“I will not be bested by a clown.” 

Something is not right; this doesn't feel like most of his kills. A foreign feeling of freedom takes over him; he's doing it for the sake of the fight; there's no contract, no order, nothing. Illumi is fighting for himself, and now he wants to win. 

He launches himself forward, intending for the other teen's heart; His claw-like hand, aiming straight to its target like an arrow. There's a glimpse of gold out of the corner of his eye, distracting him and piercing through him. He doesn't know how to deal with that twisted confusion. He wants those eyes closed forever.  
***  
At the sight of those sharpened claws, Hisoka realizes this is not just a normal killer for hire. There's an air of superiority from the way the assassin moves, the way his hand and fingers easily transform into a murdering tool - which might be perceived as terrifying to most people but to Hisoka, it's intoxicating and opens up a world of questions for him. This is obviously an expert Nen user, whose abilities are specifically honed for killing, and has been trained from extreme mental to physical limits for his job. This is what Hisoka wants to surround himself with, immerse his life in, saturate his mind and body and intertwine with people like this - by getting to know their abilities, then fighting them…  
“Aw, you're hurting my feelings. I'm not a clown. I'm an aspiring magician.” 

...and perhaps, even killing them.  
“What's your name? Where are you from? If you really think you can kill me to silence me, you wouldn't mind telling me who you are, right? Dead men can't talk anyway.”

Hisoka takes a small step to his right, dodging the slash and sending a quick jab towards his long-haired opponent's chin. Even those feral looking nails look stunning in the moonlight. Rich people really can afford to be beautiful at any given moment, even in the midst of a battle.  
***  
The performer manages to dodge the attack, which leaves Illumi slightly out of balance. He was sure the sharpness of his claws would be the end of the fight. Not only was his strike rendered useless, but the teen also managed to deliver a fast punch to his jaw.

Illumi barely avoids it for the most part, but amidst his surprise and his lack of experience in physical combat against a mad man, the jab lands on the side of his mouth. Illumi tastes the metal of his own blood oozing from the inside of his cheek and spits. He shows no sign of feeling pain or discomfort.  
“Do you ever just shut up?” 

He's pissed. There weren't many people outside of his family who could stand their ground against him. Using the back of his hand, he wipes the blood that was trickling from his now-pursed lips.  
“My name is not relevant; I am a professional assassin from the Zoldyck family. I do not care if you know that; there is nothing you can do to us anyway.” 

Illumi's eyes remain impassive, yet his aura is showing the anger he refuses to reveal. Why is this clown making shallow questions amid battle? 

The other teen is close, he could throw his pins and be done with it, but that isn't enough at that point. He changes his well-trained stance into a more comfortable one. There's an unknown feeling growing in the depths of his stomach; he doesn't want this to end soon anymore. He won't admit it, but he's having fun. 

With both hands looking like claws, Illumi sprints toward the performer. He's going for the left shoulder and the right arm. His dark eyes are trapped in the pools of honey that now stare back at him. When was the last time someone looked at him without fear or disappointment? He couldn't remember.  
***  
Hisoka can feel his heartbeat going wild, thumping away as his adrenaline level skyrockets. This thrill of being in the presence - no, even better, a fight - with someone truly worthy feels just like the first time he was forced to learn how to walk on a tightrope. Back then, the sudden realization of one's mortality and that fear is a mere mental construct taught Hisoka to discard self-doubt, to relish the danger of the situation, and channel it into strength. As the assassin' charges full speed at him, a symbolic acceptance that yes, Hisoka is in his league, is worth fighting, is capable of being a threat - he savors the moment and thinks "this is what being alive is all about."  
“The Zoldyck? Yes, I have heard of that name. Doesn't the family have several kids though? Which one are you? Did they teach you how to kill ever since you were a baby? That's amazing.”

Those eyes... the deep voids like black holes that suck you in and spit you out across the galaxy. Hisoka wonders what all this person has seen, who all he has killed, what techniques he uses. He wants to know it all; he wants to find out every single little detail about the fighter in front of him. The snobby assassin may pretend he's all business and rid of emotions as much as he wants, but Hisoka can tell this fight excites his opponent as much as it does him.

The sharpened claw-like hands were insanely fast. Jabs after jabs come in rapid succession, slashing at his left shoulder and the opposite arm. Hisoka's quick reflexes manage to help him avoid complete loss of a limb, but the slash at his shoulder is severe enough to instantly dye his top crimson. His left side will be slower now, but the pain sure serves as a reminder to react faster next time. Hisoka might have landed the first punch, but his opponent has already dealt more damage. Perhaps it's time to activate the Bungee Gum he discretely attached to the Zoldyck's cheek when his fist met those delicate jaws.  
***  
Illumi notices the cheap fabric turning red after his claw cuts through the flesh of the performer. He was fast and agile and that was the only reason why those arms were still attached to those muscular shoulders. 

'Amazing' he hears the other teen say as he refers to his training. He doesn't know shit! Illumi loves his brothers, but his training was hell on earth. He flinches for a second at the sound of that word. He's still attacking but the distraction is undeniable.  
“I am the eldest son.” 

Illumi tries to go for the stomach. He's fighting a madman and he's acting like one. He can't remember if he'd known such a sense of independence before, it's invigorating. Come on aspiring magician, is that all you have? He thinks and suppresses a smirk.  
“My name is Illumi.”  
***  
Hisoka sees the assassin slipping up more and more by the second. Perhaps the guess about his strength being in stealth kills and medium to long-range combat seems to be correct. Sensing that the Zoldyck's eldest is going for his stomach, Hisoka decides it's time to show off his Hatsu. He activates the bungee gum on the assassin's cheek, flinging him with an invisible elastic force to the side, leaving the arrogant killer tumbling in the dirt.  
“A common courtesy would be to ask about my name in return, Illumi. Didn't they teach you about manners at rich kid's school?”

Hisoka happily dances over to the Zoldyck, towering over him as he is getting up from the ground. He pulls on the bungee gum again to forcefully turn the assassin's face up to look straight at him.  
“The name is Hisoka. Hisoka Morrow.”  
***  
llumi is being forced to look up as he remains in a crouched position. His eyes lock on the crescent golden moons staring back at him. "Hisoka Morrow," a melodic name for a person who seems to dance on his own beat. He wants to look away, attack him, and make him pay for the humiliation received. He wants to, yes, but he finds himself incapable. 

Illumi didn't go to 'rich kid's school' -or any other school for that matter- in fact, this is the first somewhat normal conversation he's ever had with someone around his age. He knows he should kill him, but putting an end to that moment feels unsettling.  
“Oh, I did not know that.” 

His tone makes it difficult to distinguish between raw honesty and sarcasm. 

Hisoka's smirk is confident, and Illumi notices his chiseled chin and prominent cheekbones. His features stand out, like his hair, the circus outfit, and his extroverted personality. Hisoka is the opposite of him. Bright and sunny but just as deadly.  
“Why would you introduce yourself to me, Hisoka? Even if you manage to kill me, are you not afraid of my family's retaliation?” 

Illumi is honestly curious about Hisoka's intentions. He doesn't seem to be afraid; he's taller and more muscular than him, talented but not rigorously trained. Illumi didn't know a person like this could exist.  
***  
Hisoka ponders, putting a finger to his slightly pouty lips.  
“If I die, then I'll die happy knowing I get to fight an extremely talented opponent. If I survive, then your family will take revenge on me, which means I'll get to fight even more talented professional assassins. It's a win-win, no matter how things end up. Either way, I'll get my wish.” 

The teenage performer releases his bungee gum, snapping it back which sends Illumi's head into a rough whiplash. Hisoka watches carefully to see what the assassin plans to do next. It's hard to tell whether he's in pain, upset, or feeling nothing at all. When it's hard to read someone's emotion, it's more difficult to predict their next moves.  
“What about you? What's in it for you whether you win or lose this fight?”  
***  
Illumi tilts his head to the side. That was an odd question. Was Hisoka serious about wanting to fight with no regard for his own life? He certainly needed to win; losing his life would mean abandoning his brothers to their fate. But that wasn't something he could ever say out loud.  
“If I kill you now, then I silence the only witness of tonight's job; if you kill me, I die as a failure.” 

No, that didn't come out right. He wasn't supposed to disclose that much and to a stranger no less. His neck was sore from the sudden yank of that strange Hatsu he was so curious about. In fact, he found himself being more and more curious about that peculiar teen.  
“As you see, Hisoka, losing is not an option for me.” 

He spins from his crouched position and throws a sweeping kick to knock Hisoka off his feet. His heart is pounding and his ears are ringing. He wanted the annoying teen dead first but now, he is not so sure. Winning and losing are both sides of the same solitary coin. If the choice were his, the fight would continue forever.  
***  
Despite focusing all of his intentions on Illumi, Hisoka still didn't react in time to dodge the violent kick that sends him crashing down a few steps next to the assassin. That was a great move, Hisoka barely caught a glimpse of the movement as the Zoldyck shifted his body weight but it was still a half-second too late.  
“I'm delighted I get to fight you tonight. And I wish that there's no ending to our encounter, so you don't have to fail. Because I will definitely not let you kill me easily.”

Hisoka props himself up on two elbows with his back on the ground, and with his athletic legs, hops back up to standing up straight in one fluid motion.  
“You're the strongest I have ever fought in my life so far. It would be a waste to kill the fun off this quickly.” 

The performer in him takes over, planning to play a trick on the assassin. He starts sprinting at his top speed, circling Illumi, and taunts him with a random series of feints, a jab here, a kick there, but never connecting before he quickly retreats back to the dizzying run.  
“Plus, you have a really pretty face…”

Hisoka whispers just as he flashes in right by Illumi's side in a crouch and throws an uppercut right towards Illumi's chin.  
***  
Hisoka starts dancing around him, teasing him with some punches and kicks. He talks a lot as if there was no filter between his brain and his plump lips. Illumi is conflicted by the performer's words; he's saying out loud everything he thinks but could never find the courage to admit. 

Hisoka sprints forward, and a whisper breaks into his ear. 'you have a really pretty face,' he says, and Illumi's eyebrows rise even higher. He can feel Hisoka's breath tingling on his skin; it's soft and warm in perfect contrast to his cold exterior.

Illumi is distracted by those words; there's something like a wave of heat making its way to his cheeks. His heart is pounding, but he's frozen in place. You have a pretty face too, he thinks, but he can't speak. 

He feels the uppercut coming and reacts a second too late. Only two of Hisoka's knuckles connect with his chin. Illumi feels his teeth clashing together and stumbles back a few steps. Quickly rummaging through his vest, he procures some pins and holds them in his fists, making the pointy ends sticking out between his fingers. He wants to strike back; he needs to. But deep within his mind, all he wants is for Hisoka to call him pretty again.  
***  
As his uppercut connects with Illumi's chin, Hisoka connects his bungee gum once again. The assassin takes a partial blow, stumbles, and recovers fairly quickly. Yet, even as he gets his sharp needle weapons ready, he pauses and doesn't launch into an immediate attack. Hisoka smirks. His words were sincere, but they were also an intentional distraction.  
“I mean it. Therefore I apologize for this.”

Hisoka pulls on his bungee gum, jerking Illumi's pretty yet bruised chin as well as his whole body over to him for an overhead punch. The blow sends the assassin crashing onto the ground right below Hisoka.  
“What do you think of me now, Zoldyck? Still just a clown?”  
***  
Illumi looks up from the ground, the magician seems taller than before, and his smirk adorns his face like a sharp display of dominance. The assassin's hands are scratched from the fall yet his pins are still in his hold.

“You are a skilled fighter and a worthy opponent.” There's no bite on his words, nothing but honesty that he fails to convey in the desired way. There's so much he'd like to say, to ask. This is by far the most interesting person he has ever met. 

“It would be a shame to kill you now.”

Illumi throws his pins forward, aiming for Hisoka's legs. He can't decide between keeping a distance from his attacker or pin him down to the floor so he can examine him better. He said he meant what he said and Illumi can only hope that the moonlight is kind enough to hide the redness on his face.  
***  
Hisoka winces as the sharp pins sting his legs. They pierce through his circus outfit, breaking skin and lodging into his already tensed, sore thighs and calves. The pain is borderline unbearable, yet the response he got out of Illumi makes it all so worthwhile. And that look, those eyes, distant yet yearning to come closer at the same time - those eyes will be haunting Hisoka for years to come.  
“What a peculiar circumstance. Had I not seen your kill, we would not have met. And yet, I wish we didn't have to meet this way and that you have to kill me as I witnessed your crime. We could have been sparring and training together every day. We could have even been friends.”

Hisoka would have liked that, a lot. He is an outcast in his own world. The audience might love his performance but they only care for him to entertain them. At the end of the show, he's just another circus kid that will move on and never to be seen again around town. The circus troupe themselves just see him as a mouth to feed, a burden to bear and another laborer to keep the money coming in. Hisoka treasures the performer's high he gets but he's completely alone in this world filled with cheap sequin and blinding stage lights.

Hisoka stands tall and proud, one leg in front of the other as if about to take a curtsy bow. He looks straight at the Zoldyck, and for the first time in the whole evening, stops smiling and speaks sincerely. “But that would never be the case, wouldn't it? You would always be the infamous, wealthy, and talented Zoldyck assassin. I will always be just an orphaned magician with nothing in my name. The only similarity we ever have in between us is this fight. You would have never cared about my existence had I not been strong enough to strike you. And honestly, the same rings true with me.”

Blood comes streaming out from the wounds in his shoulder and legs. Hisoka knows he needs to finish quickly or he won't last much longer now. Yet he wants this moment to never end. Illumi and himself, drenched in sweat, chest heaving in exhaustion in the moonlight. Forever.  
***  
Illumi notices the multiple wounds he managed to inflict. Hisoka is bleeding, and he's bruised and tired. He gives every ounce of attention to all those words the magician seems to utter in a fit of sincerity. "So he's an orphan," he thinks he'd gladly change fates with him if that meant escaping his tortuous family. 

There is a word that lingers in his mind -friends- he says as if that was something possible for their realities. His pins are on Hisoka's legs; with a pulse of his Hatsu, he could yank them apart if he so wanted to. He could at least try. But killing the teen would send him back into solitude, silence, and misery. His family was wealthy, yes, but he has nothing he could call his own. 

Illumi uses his Hatsu to command Hisoka's legs into rendition. The magician falls backward, his back flush against the gravel. The assassin stands and walks toward him. There's an uncertain pain in his eyes, and an invisible hand comprises his throat. Standing over the magician, he looks into those whimsical eyes wanting to lock that face in the corner of his memory.  
“Assasins do not have friends…” His voice is a whisper, almost dipped in melancholy. “I can not let you live if you are going to tell people what I did.” 

He leans in closer; his hair drips from the side of his face, almost dark enough to cover the dim moonlight. There's a nearly invisible veil of sadness darkening his features.  
“It is a shame, valuable fighters are scarce, and I am enjoying our fight. You would be an excellent sparring companion.” 

Illumi's Hatsu is not strong enough yet. He is skilled and talented, but the fight and the rush of emotions are taking a toll on his aura. He fails to contain those legs for longer. He wishes life could be different; he wants to stay in that city he hates, with that annoying teenager fighting and talking until the point of exhaustion.  
***  
Hisoka lays with his back on the cold hard ground, legs trembling as the blood loss is severe in his limbs. He thinks to himself: How the table has turned! Illumi is now the one assuming control. The assassin closes the distance, his shadow encroaching over the performer's body. Hisoka manages to sit up and regains a morsel of pride. And perhaps even an opportunity for a quick trick again.

Hisoka immediately activates his invisible Hatsu ability - bungee gum - which shoots out from his hand and sticks to one of Illumi's wrist. The sticky aura immediately connects to the assassin's body, and as soon as the Zoldyck's prodigy gets within contact range, he is once again pulled violently to the ground. Illumi's body slumps over, knees drop onto the gravel right next to Hisoka. The orphaned boy waves a quick hand motion to tie Illumi's wrists together with his bungee gum, binding him from throwing his Nen infused needles. Before Illumi can react, Hisoka reaches one of his slender hands over right next to the assassin's face. He looks at his silky-haired opponent - right into his large, entrancing dark eyes, and whispers with a voice like honey: “Don't move, just for a second. Will you trust me?”  
***  
lllumi goes down next to Hisoka, who binds him in a way that makes it impossible for him to attack or even defend himself. He needs to run, escape, do something. Every trace of logic is screaming in his brain, telling him not to trust the performer; he seems like the kind of person who would say anything to get what he wants. 

He shouldn't trust him. No. But he does. 

There's a minute beat in his heart, begging him to stay put and listen against his training and his family's way. And so he does, with a little nod of his head and a simple phrase, “I will.” 

I will trust you with my life this time, he means. I will let my guard down, and I will suppress my fears for the chance to share a few more seconds with you. 

Illumi stops fighting. If Hisoka kills him after this, he will die like a fool, but one who -for the first time in his life- chose his own path. The pins lose their effect completely. He knows that if Hisoka were to survive this, his legs would not be permanently damaged for him to continue doing his act. 

If he could be granted one wish -he, who never wished or wanted anything before- it would be to be able to have Hisoka as a friend.  
***  
lllumi doesn't seem to talk much. Perhaps his career seeks end results more than the satisfaction of enjoying the process itself. But Illumi's silence also speaks volumes. Hisoka was prepared for the alternative outcome where Illumi chooses not to follow common senses and not trust his opponent in the middle of a fight. That could have meant certain death to Hisoka at such close range. Thankfully, Illumi agreed to play along. His quick response is followed by nothing but a silent gaze. It's as if the assassin wants to dissect Hisoka's soul simply by staring into his golden eyes which seem to be absorbing the starlight and get even more radiant by the second.

Yet, there is a lingering unspoken sense of familiarity between the two fighters. A quiet understanding, a kinship formed by physical combat, a sense of loneliness only experienced by the best among us all.

Hisoka grins and leans in closer. He snaps his thumb and index fingers right next to Illumi's ear and pulls out from the silky waterfall of black hair a blossoming night phlox flower. A stunning little thing that blooms at night, revealing its vanilla-honey scent as the petals clad in deep purple on the outer side unfurls to expose the inner virgin white color to the dark evening.  
“I propose a partnership. I'll keep this encounter our little secret, as long as I get to see you again.”

Before Illumi has time to consider the suggestion and gives his answer, the pair is disrupted by oncoming shouts and flashlights from a group of people in ridiculous circus outfits. “Hisoka! Where did you go? Time to pack up on the van and haul ass outta here! The cops are right at the door! Hisoka!”  
***  
Hisoka snaps his fingers next to Illumi's ear and for that brief moment, everything around them seems to disappear. They are sitting so close to each other that Hisoka's exhausted features are all that the assassin can and wants to see.

A flower appears out of thin air, gorgeous yet simple, creating an oasis of delicacy among the chaos of the previous fight. Illumi looks at its petals and holds up a trembling hand wanting to feel their softness, fearful of his power, wondering if he could ever hold something so precious without destroying it.

'A partnership' the magician says. What a remarkable idea that is. He can have a partner, someone to rely on when needed, someone like him. A teenager who can match his strength and speed and a person willing to be the keeper of his secret.

He's about to answer when he hears someone calling Hisoka's name. The magic is over. His cellphone rings in his pocket; he knows it's a call from his family, wondering why he hasn't reported the mission as successful yet. The spell is broken beyond repair, but that flower is still in his grasp. So he takes it. “I agree with the partnership.” He's talking faster now, knowing that time is not on their side. “You know about my family, then you know where to find me.” 

Illumi stands and offers a hand for his newfound partner in crime to stand up beside him. “I would like to see you again too, Hisoka.”  
***  
Hisoka sees the look of panic in Illumi when he fumbles and reaches for his phone. That's probably his people trying to reach him and see why the assassination is taking so long. A sudden pain ripples through Hisoka's chest. The beautiful and expensively dressed Ilumi is going back to his world-famous family, his circle, his society who for sure have high expectations for him and are waiting on his arrival. There's no such thing but a dirty circus RV, sweaty entertainers, and a faceless audience waiting for Hisoka when this moment is over. “Until we meet again, partner.”

Hisoka smiles brightly from ear to ear, and turns quickly on his heels towards the coming noise. The moment he turns his back on Illumi, his smile fades away into a faint tremble at the corner of his mouth. “Hey I'm coming, let's go!”

Hisoka walks quickly towards his circus troupe, hands motioning over his shoulder and legs quickly. In a split second, his torn, bloody clothes and bleeding injuries seemingly get an instant refresh. The masking of any battle's residue was done just in time before Hisoka gets out of the shadowy plain and walks into the diffused light from the flashlight. He cracks a joke with someone in the group as they all walk away. His warm laughter breaks the silence of the dark plains, echoing through the night as they head to the circus RV.  
***  
Illumi follows the magician with his gaze not knowing when they would get the chance to meet again. He checks the caller on his phone and shudders at the sight of his father's name. He knows that the only thing waiting for him at the estate is a beating for taking too long and harder training to make sure it won't happen again. His mother's screeching and his father's discipline were all he could relate to the word family. He took comfort in knowing that as long as he could remain there enduring those hardships, he could at least protect his younger siblings.

Still, something breaks inside of him after Hisoka turns around and begins to walk away. His vision is blurry and he can't breathe properly. But he fights it and contains it as best as he can. “Until then! I- promise.” That final word comes out like a whisper, contained by the tightness of his throat.

Hisoka is far away now and Illumi doesn't know if he was heard. But the magician looks flawless as if the fight never took place. He wonders how many other tricks he might be hiding and if he would be erased from his memory as simple as those wounds vanished from plain sight.

His phone rings again and he holds it against his ear. His father is angry at him. “I know father, I am on my way to the designated spot. I am sorry, yes, I know.”

He answers like a well-trained robot but all he hears is Hisoka's laugh in the distance, echoing across the plains as he turns around and walks away. Hoping to remember that sound of happiness and those eyes made of gold for as long as possible.


	2. The Job Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka leaves the circus and needs to find a new job. Lucky for him, the Zoldyck's state is in dire need of new butlers.

Kukuroo Mountain,  
Hisoka: 18 years old  
Illumi: 14 years old

The world is vast and intriguing, full of adventures to live and wonders to discover. Living with a traveling circus has shown Hisoka that even someone like him, who came from nothing, could find a place in this -more often than not- cruel world. But the Moritonio Troupe had nothing more to offer him, and it was due time for an adventure of his own. 

Proving his worth, his strength, and skills was one of his ultimate goals in life, yet few opponents had managed to stand up to him in a fight. But there was one that he still remembers, one whose inexpressive eyes he can't force himself to forget. That's why, as soon as he saw that the renowned Zoldycks were hiring for new butlers, Hisoka went right ahead to that mysterious mountain. Even if he couldn't get to see him again, it was a once in a lifetime chance to prove his value to those rich bastards. 

Hisoka walks as proud as ever among the other candidates. They look boring as hell, clad in different suits and somewhat formal wear. The magician stands out like a sore thumb with his bright magenta hair sticking up and a lilac ensemble of crop-top and matching pants. A red undershirt envelopes his tiny waist, which makes an impressive contrast with his wide, bare shoulders. He's eighteen now, stronger, faster, and more brutal than before. 

"Whatever these stuck-up bastards have in store for me, they better bring it on soon." 

***  
Silva stands in the main hall of the Zoldyck's mansion, waiting for the hopeful ones to arrive. It has been a few years since he needed to hire new butlers, as his last crop of talented servants did a great job graduating training and sticking with the family. Unfortunately, as Kikyo and himself started testing out new theories about their youngest child Alluka's ability, the Family had to make some capital sacrifice, and are now a few trusted butlers short.

As head of the Family, Silva is extremely picky about who would get the honor of joining the Zoldyck's new class of esteemed butlers. The majority of their servants come from Meteor City. Those kinds of people desire money and seek comfortable accommodation yet require discipline and training to become better citizens - no, better human beings. Hundreds apply for the job hoping for a fat paycheck and the prestige of this career without understanding that it's a lifetime dedication. Rigorous training with weighted clothing that extends beyond the apprenticeship, no earthly detachment by way of romantic interests allowed, and mistakes are punishable with severe means, death included.

And yet, here they all come in droves. Most drop out before ever making their way up Kukuroo mountain. For those who made it to the estate, several leave after the first sight of Mike, their 400 kilos/900 pounds guard dog. This year, only a dozen makes it to the job interview with Silva.

One of which has apparently disregarded the dress code requirement listed on the job ad posted on Meteor City Daily.

"Morrow, Hisoka?"

Silva raises his deep, guttural voice calling for the first candidate who's sticking out from the group of suit and tuxedo clad applicants.  
***  
The voice calling his name is a perfect match for the massive beast in front of him. Everything about Silva screams strength and power, from the impossible size of his muscles to the smug expression on his face; that man would be intimidating to meet for most people. But Hisoka has one recurrent thought alone. Fight me!

Suppressing his rising excitement for battle, Hisoka steps forward. His shoes clack against the stone floor as he gingerly raises his hand. He locks his golden eyes against Silva's icy blue ones in a fearless display of courage. 

"Here. It is a pleasure meeting you. Thank you for this opportunity."

His voice is sweet and pleasing, and he wears the innocent smile that only an expert liar can produce. Hisoka is marveled by the differences between this man in front of him and his eldest son. Like day and night, Silva is loud in every aspect; he seems extroverted and brutal. How could he produce a child so quiet and somewhat... -broken-. The word intrudes Hisoka's mind like a stream of cold water. For reasons unknown, he adds a few more logs to that fire that was his desire to fight the head of the Zoldycks.  
***  
Like always, the Zoldyck methodology in assassination as well as in daily activities goes as follows: eliminate the perceived easiest or most obvious option immediately, then promptly move on to the next target. Silva wants to get rid of the magenta-haired clown and prunes the interviewing process of the unfit right off the bat. Someone who has such a loud personality would not do well to uphold servitude in this prestigious house..

“Good day, Morrow. I'm Silva Zoldyck, rightful heir of the Zoldyck's estate you're currently standing in. Also the person who will determine whether you're fit for the Family's apprentice butler program or not. Here's how today will go: I'm testing each applicant one by one, starting with you. The test is meant to assess your physical strength, mental capacity, special abilities, and mannerism. Whoever lasts through the end of an interview with me can go wait in the staff luncheon room to recuperate. By sunset, I'll make the final call on who gets hired on. Are we clear to proceed?”

***  
Silva introduces himself as if the man wasn't worldly famous, at least among the applicants. It's a marvelous display of dominance and status. He stands with his fortune on full display, showing in every corner of that ridiculous mansion. He doesn't just think that he's better than those poor bastards who are willing to become his servants. He knows that as a fact.

“Understood. I'm honored to be the first one taking the tests. Hopefully, you'll find all my strengths as valuable assets for you and your family.”

Hisoka makes a minimal effort to sound formal and correct, but all his years entertaining an audience has given him the means to fake politeness. He does a respectful bow, but right after he looks at Silva in the eye again. He was picked first for a reason, and he assumed it wasn't something to be thankful about.

“What should I do first, Mr. Zoldyck?”

***  
Silva walks towards the flamboyant performer, waving his hand lazily as a signal to his hidden staff. A quiet, lanky girl with a tight pony tail appears from the corner of the hall dressed in a signature black suit, carrying a large silver bowl filled to the brim with crystal clear water and a woven basket full of leaves. She puts the odd pairing of items on a table set between Silva and Hisoka, and once again disappears without saying a single word.

“The bare minimum qualification for anyone who aspires to work for the Family is to be able to control their life force, and to have an inkling of potential for some special abilities. I want you to place both of your palms around this bowl, and imagine as if you can channel your energy to the water to change its attribute. Most of the time, the water will remain the same. If that's the case, we'll be done with this interview.”

Silva drops a single leaf into the bowl. Usually, the water divination test is done last after the physical and mental ability portions. However, Silva is sure this ridiculous walking street act doesn't even know what Nen is. He just needs the guy gone, and quickly.  
***  
Interesting start for a test, this dude is not wasting any of his precious time on a lowlife like Hisoka. If that is the case, then he's in for a treat. Not only the magician knows exactly what Nen is, he's also a natural genius. His Hatsu techniques are creative and practically flawless, yet a skilled performer knows what to show and what to conceal. “Very well, let's see what the water has to reveal.”

Hisoka approaches the table and places both hands on the bowl and allows his aura to permeate the surface and travel into the water. He appears to be only staring at Silva the whole time, not even the slightest trace of concentration fading the glow of his defying eyes. After only a few seconds, he removes his hands even though the water looks exactly the same.

“And Voilà.”

The magician gestures toward the bowl with a twist of his hand, as if he was revealing the result of a magic trick. He can't help but notice the smugness in Silva’s face, that constant expression that shows true disdain. Hisoka has seen the same expression before, in the rich people going to the circus, and the poor bastards who were fool enough to fight him. Yes, wiping that arrogance away with his fists was an absolute pleasure.  
***  
Silva frowns as the ridiculous clown doll stares at him with those two feline yellow eyes. What an arrogant little prick. He smirks as Hisoka withdraws his hands, and there is no visible change to the water.

“Well, what a pity. Our meeting might be cut rather short after all. This is called a water divination test, which is used to examine if you can control your Nen and find out your Nen type. I suggest you do some research on that before you attempt to apply to work here again.” 

Silva puts both of his massive hands on the table, sighs and lectures on: “Since I'm feeling generous today, and as you're the first one to go through the interview process, I might as well spare a bit of charitable time to help further your education. Let's see: there is no change to the amount of water in the bowl, so you're obviously not an Enhancer. That's a type of Nen, by the way. Now, if there had been visible impurities in the water, it would be a signal of you being a Conjurer. If you had been able to move the leaf, that means you would be a Manipulator. If the color of the water had changed, that would have been a sign of an Emitter. Other odd things such as the water turning into ice, or the leaf withering and dying could occur - those are usually signs of a Specialist. And finally, the most desirable Nen type of all, at least for the Family - is the Transmutation ability. Those who are Transmuters would produce a different taste to the water…”

Silva absent-mindedly dips a finger covered in scars into the water bowl, and swipes it lightly on his thick lips as he recounts how the most capable Zoldyck heirs are Transmuters: his father Zeno, himself, and hopefully his third son will also be able to turn the taste of the water...

“...sour? Sweet AND sour?”

***  
How glorious it is to witness confusion in an otherwise confident bastard on a high horse. Hisoka deliberately changed the water into a combination of flavors to surprise him, but the lengthy speech made the grand reveal even better. Silva was underestimating him after all, and even ran his mouth wild and confessed that Transmuters are the most desirable type. Hisoka smiled looking pleased and made a gesture toward the water.

“Ah yes, you see. I didn't know what kind of taste you were looking forward to trying so I made it a new experience, that's why it took me a little bit longer. I am a Transmuter as you can see, and it pleases me to know that that's the number one type in your book... Sir.”

So the bulky brute is a Transmuter as well, not that much surprising, but a million times more interesting. Hisoka remembers the teen he met back then, he was not the same Nen type, probably a Manipulator. It's sad how probably Silva thinks less of his eldest son just because he didn't inherit his nen type.

“I guess our meeting will not be cut short after all.”

***  
Silva is stunned. He finally looks at Hisoka and actually sees him for the first time. The hunger in those predatory yellow eyes, the tensed sharp fingernails of a hunter ready to pounce, the bustling muscles radiating a lively bright pink aura - all of which seem to abruptly appear as a surprise and delightful magic trick.

“Impressive. Now, I'd like to see how you use your tricks in physically taxing scenarios. Let us play a fun game of tag. The perimeter is this main hall. Your objective is to tag me, and you have 15 minutes. Shall we begin?”

***  
Yes, that was it. The initial surprise is fading, and recognition is taking its place. Even that massive snob has to admit that Hisoka is, indeed, impressive, and the word fills the magician's ego and self-assurance. He is not being looked down on anymore. But it's not enough, not yet.”Wonderful idea. I'm ready when you are... sir.”

Hisoka fetches his worn-out deck of cards from his pant's pocket and begins to shuffle it loudly and expertly. That's not due to any special ability, only coordination and practice. He looks around memorizing where everything is, and then his eyes travel back to Silva's. "Bring it on."  
***  
Silva loses no time, and starts dashing around the hall in alternating zig zag patterns. Despite his massive muscles, the man moves with the precision and speed that makes Zoldyck a feared name across the underworld & among the Hunters. His eyes lock onto Hisoka's movements even as he runs at a lightning fast tempo on the stone-tiled floor. Absolutely zero foot fall can be heard - a trained skill for all Zoldyck since a mere age of two years old.

“What are you waiting for, Morrow? I'm getting bored.”

The Zoldyck master is no longer clouded by prejudice, and is now paying close attention to his extremely conspicuous butler candidate. The kid might have raw talent, but still just a nobody from Meteor City.  
***  
Standing in the middle of the hall, Hisoka turns and follows Silva with his eyes. He's fast, even more than him probably, but the magician has his tricks. He moves with grace, sprinting towards the Zoldyck, even if his face looks relaxed, his eyes tell a different story as they shine with feral hunger.

Once he kinda memorizes Silva's moves, Hisoka starts throwing cards his way. None of them manages to hit the man but they lodge into the walls and pillars on his way. One in particular lands close to his feet, while others swoosh by his face.

“Where are you looking at, Mr. Zoldyck?”  
***  
The brightly dressed youngster throws Nen-infused cards his way as Silva weaves through the main hall. These cheap playing cards are charged in pink aura, hardened and able to penetrate hard surfaces. Most of them wildly land on the walls and stone pillars as Silva races through the vast spacious room. A few manage to cut close to his pants and shoes, and one card flies right by his face, slicing off a few strands of long platinum blonde hair. Silva flinches and alters his course, suddenly side stepping to adjust for the flying object that almost caught up with him.

“Your outlandish appearance draws too much attention. It would not bode well for the much needed professionalism here nor command any respect as a Zoldyck's butler. Would you be able to tone it down for the job?”

***  
Beaming on the inside, Hisoka strikes back. He made the great Silva Zoldyck flinch and he didn't even have to use his special Hatsu. He doesn't want to show all of his tricks, what if someday he ends up fighting the man in a more serious setting? He needs to hold the element of surprise. Hisoka launches forkard flicking a card in front of his face and throws it toward the man he's chasing, it'd land right over his left eye if he doesn't move.

But Hisoka guesses he will anticipate it and so he sends another card for his right shoulder. The giant tower of arrogance might never assume that the clown looking man is fast enough to catch him the second he doubts himself. But he is.

Hisoka brushes his fingers against the soft fabric on Silva's back, appearing out of nowhere, or so it seems, right next to a very puzzled Zoldyck.

“Ah, yes. Up until recently, I was a prestigious magician for a traveling circus. Do you know what is a magician's greatest feat? Diversion. My clothes make you look at me, but disregard my cards or my hands as I throw them. I am the lure Mr Zoldyck.”

He makes a gesture as if assessing his options.

“But I'd wear a formal suit too, if I owned one. I bet I'd look good in formal wear, don't you agree? Sir?”

***  
Silva winces and immediately knows he makes a mistake. The circus performer does have quite a few tricks up his sleeve after all. Still, the sickly sweet fake voice taunting him is of no match to be a Zoldyck's butler.

“Once again, I underestimated you. You have passed the physical test as well. Now, the reason why I mention the attire is due to the nature of this job. It's not simply appearance, but what the implication of that uniform signifies. The Family calls for only the most capable, the most trustworthy, the most dependent, the most inconspicuous, the most polished talents to join us. Being able to say that you have trained, and served under the Zoldyck is a prestigious accomplishment. However, strength and talent alone wouldn't make a suitable match. Sometimes, one's upbringing and its consequences cannot be trained out of them.” 

Silva eyes Hisoka up and down. What a pity. Good genetics, great reflexes and obviously well trained. The lucky bastard was born with a gift. He presses on:

“I appreciate your skills and intellectual acumen - you're sharp, no doubt about it. However, it is going to take some convincing for the Family to trust someone with no known background. Heritage is still important and having the right family name is valuable even in this day and age, after all. I need to protect the Zoldyck name, starting with small trivial tasks like hiring the right help. It is, despite being a minor responsibility, an important decision.”

***  
Those icy blue eyes scrutinize the magician from head to toe, nothing he hasn't seen before. From his early childhood, Hisoka learned that anyone who managed to own something would instantly despise others who didn't. Maybe it was a sense of status, or perhaps people just needed to bring down others to feel superior. He felt that way too, but he used his fists to knock those stupid stuck-ups down. Hisoka can't imagine exactly how high above others a man who has everything must feel, how much of a low-life he seems under his eyes. 

“I assume since I'm from Meteor City that my upbringing must seem a problem for you, but you see, Sir. I don't remember my early childhood.” 

Hisoka was lying like an expert. His eyes seemed darkened by a veil of nostalgia out of the sudden. It might've seemed fit for his story, but the truth was a torturing past was flashing right before him. 

“The circus troupe found me unconscious on the street, and I lived with them ever since. I learned everything I could and then some, and I took pride in belonging to such an insignificant family of artists until I needed something more transcendental. My last name might not have a dynasty like yours, Mr. Zoldyck, but just like I wear the magician's outfit with pride, I'd live to honor any role you assign me.”

***  
Silva simply nods at Hisoka's rant. There is nothing one can say or do to change their origin. They can certainly elevate their social value, starting with a path such as becoming a butler for a Zoldyck. At least Hisoka is on the right track, yet the youth seems to be disillusioned by his theatrical past without realizing how in high society, those who matter do not think much if at all of those who serve to entertain.

“Right. I've heard and seen enough. You can take your leave to the staff luncheon room now. Exit through the third door on the right, go down the center atrium. Take a left where you will see a stand-alone building reserved for the butler's housing and training needs. If you see the stone Fu-dog, you've gone too far down - that's the west wing reserved for my elder children. The selection and final hiring decision will be made by the end of day. Feel free to eat, drink, and relax in the butler's residence area.”

Silva gestures vaguely with his hand, dismissing Hisoka and already calling onto the next candidate.  
***  
As soon as Silva dismisses him, Hisoka gently bows his head and smiles in a silent thankful gesture. He is not appreciative of his speech or the way he still looks down at him, but without knowing it, Silva happened to give him vital information. 

Hisoka walks down the endless corridors and pathways. Rich people sure need a lot of stuff around them. He wonders how many poor bastards in Meteor City could have their hunger satisfied if someone like Mr. Zoldyck could live without a few of his most valuable possessions. “And the giant head of the Zoldycks sure talks a lot too.”

The stone Fu-dog is ahead, just like Silva told him, and Hisoka walks past the butler's housing going straight to the west wing. There was something far more appealing within the rock-solid walls of the state than a mediocre job of servitude for a classist family. The Zoldycks would never appreciate him for his true worth, but there was one who had seen and recognized his strength. One whose obsidian eyes had haunted him all those years. 

“Now, which one is your window? I don't think you're hiding your presence here, eldest Zoldyck son.”

***  
Illumi sits inside the study nook connected to the side of his bedroom, carefully rearranging his small collection of assorted poisons. His room is spacious, expensively decorated to show off the Zoldyck's wealth and taste yet empty of any personal touch from Illumi himself.

Today is the new butler apprentice's selection day. His younger sibling Alluka was put through the ringer with their parents, and apparently caused a miraculously murderous situation that resulted in several deaths among the Family's current class of butlers. Now Father has to scramble and recruit a few new ones to hopefully train them in time to join the rank of the most capable domestic servants in the underworld.

The Zoldyck's eldest reaches for the stack of books on his desk, realigning them to be perfectly parallel to the corner. Perhaps he should call for another bookshelf to be added to the study, as his book collection is overflowing and spilling over to the desk now.  
***  
Using his concentration, Illumi's presence becomes easy to find. His aura has that distinct darkness that made it glow in purple velvet waves.

His room is the last one on the west wing and the window is opened. Hisoka stands right underneath it and smiles. He connects some bungee gum to a card, the ace of hearts, and throws it to the window frame hoping to catch Illumi's attention.

“Come out and play Illumi.”

He whispers. If the assassin shows no sign of acknowledgement, Hisoka will climb up. Just like the knights in those silly stories about princesses in far away lands.  
***  
Sensing a foreign projectile being shot through the open window, Illumi shoots a quick needle towards the object without even looking. By the time his eyes followed the throw, he was already activating his En to search for the intruder. An oddly familiar aura is detected outside his wall, and the attacker is still on the ground right below the window. Illumi has met this person before, yet he can't seem to place who it is. This can't be a mark, since every single job Illumi has been assigned to is perfectly completed with all targets expired, and no witness left alive...

“No way…”

Except that one time. Yes, even the same card trick, too. Illumi starts to recall his encounter with the odd circus performer at a job in Meteor City two years ago. That proved to be a big mistake to let the performer go, now that he must have come here to blackmail Illumi and expose his weakness. He can't allow this nuisance to walk away alive again.

Illumi gets close to the window sill, taking cover while surveying the situation outside. Once he locates the brightly colored and unmistakable head of hair in his vision, a hand full of Nen-infused needles rains down on the unwanted guest.  
***  
As soon as the projectiles are in sight, Hisoka does a backflip to avoid the majority of them. The rest bounce off when he hits them with bungee gum. Either the assassin forgot about him already, or he remembers everything and regrets their encounter. Either or, the magician can't prevent a tiny knot from forming in his throat. He knew it was risky, but he needed to see him again. If Illumi tries to kill him -or even if he succeeds- at least it'd be at the hands of an equal. 

Hisoka raises his hands as a sign of peace and smiles. 

“I'm not here to hurt you, Illumi. We're sparring partners, remember?”

Hisoka shoots a stream of bungee gum to the top of the window sill and uses it as leverage to climb up. He's not the same as two years ago. An arduous self-imposed training had made him faster, stronger, and a better strategist. He can't wait to see how much his partner has changed.

“Hello, Zoldyck Prince.”

***  
It has been a while - roughly two years - since that night. Illumi has barely successfully erased the encounter out of his mind, or so he thought. Throughout the first year after their meeting in Meteor City, he had waited for Hisoka to show up, to find him and fight him, or just to talk. He was watching over his shoulders at each job, waiting for a crown of flaming red hair to peak around the corner. Whenever he heard jovial carnival music in the crowd, he strained his eyes watching the sea of people to hopefully catch a glimpse of that tormenting acrobat from the traveling circus. By the second year, however, Illumi was convinced he had been tricked by a cheap maneuver so he would spare Hisoka's life. He vouched to never fall victim to such deceit again, and tried to erase the bubblegum-scented memory from his consciousness.

Yet, after all this time, after all the self-doubt and loathing Illumi went through blaming himself for being naïve enough to believe anyone would want to befriend him - here comes the addictive sunlight, perched right on his window sill.

Hisoka has... grown up. He's still sporting the ever-so-confident and annoying smirk, that same vibrant and proud like a peacock, but his physique has wasted absolutely no time in evolving to match his arrogance. His shoulders and chest are much broader, large yet lean. He's grown much taller too. Illumi is now fourteen years old, taller than before but only half of Hisoka's size. The Zoldyck can't help but recognize his body's instinct to take a step back from the muscular, grinning rainbow-clad gremlin that somehow teleports onto his window.

Yet his mind is strong. He is a Zoldyck after all. Like father always says, backing down is not an option: “You're trespassing.”

Another flurry of needles head straight for Hisoka's upper body, this time infused with paralyzing poison.  
***  
Like a scene from a recurrent dream that becomes almost as true as a memory, Hisoka looks at the eldest Zoldyck son in quiet admiration. The encounter is miles different from all the scenarios he conceived during those years of longing, yet there he is. That luscious black hair he thought flowed like a night river is short and probably not as soft as before. His fancy high-class killer clothes are now an unflattering oversized jacket and jeans. One thing remained the same, his eyes, although more mature and somewhat hardened by life, those two pools of mystery were real, and Hisoka could've lost himself in them. 

Hisoka dashes to the side, trying to dodge those dangerous projectiles stepping into the room in the process. Even after all this time, the memory of the pain inflicted by Illumi's needles remains. He manages to avoid the most part, but one reaches his left shoulder, and another pierces through the bicep. He whizzes out, but something is not right. His left arm tingles as he hurries to remove the pins from his wounds. 

“Seriously? Is this how you greet me after all this time? Do you have any idea how troublesome it was for me to get here?” 

The magician throws three nen-infused cards at the Zoldyck, aiming for his torso and arms. Of course, he wanted to fight him again, but why is Illumi trying to kill him? Hisoka is disappointed, and every expectation he had about seeing the assassin again starts to vanish. Fine, so he hates him or something. It was stupid of him to think someone like Illumi would ever think of him as a friend, a partner, or anything other than worthless scum. “I should've known it was a waste of my time; after all, you didn't look for me in two years.”

***  
Noticing how Hisoka's left arm relaxes after two needles manage to pierce his skin, Illumi knows that he has at the very least disabled or reduced mobility in the unwelcome guest's muscle-bound limb. Still, his agility and speed help Hisoka avoid the majority of Illumi's attack. Evidently, both of them have made major progress in their training.

Illumi feels the distinctly sharp cut as one of the three cards collides with his right arm. His facial expression doesn't change. Two years ago, that smooth slice on his skin would have made him wince a little. Not anymore, he has mastered control over involuntary reaction to physical discomfort at this point.

Hisoka is taunting and faking his disappointment, as if Illumi would fall for the same trickery again. This is why assassins should not have friends. They all eventually turn into painful memories filled with betrayals, nothing more.

“Cut the babbling. You still can't stop running your mouth, can you? Are you here to blackmail me? What do you want?”

Illumi takes a small side step, and starts circling the circus performer in seemingly lazy, smooth, soundless steps. Yet, as he continues to make his rounds, Illumi's sights seem to fade into a hallucinating shadow in Hisoka's eyes.  
***  
llumi has new tricks up his sleeve; somehow, the assassin managed to become more interesting with time. Hisoka's left arm is almost numb, and he notices the cut on Illumi's arm. He hasn't only got stronger, but also colder, even more, dehumanized. Those two years were a mistake; he should've abandoned the circus sooner and look for him. Keep in touch somehow, fight together, try to make him smile.

Now that he knows Silva, Hisoka begins to understand the puzzle that is Illumi. Maybe he isn't just a spoiled brat with more money than he can count. Perhaps, that kinship he recognized in the teen was not only about strength but also trauma. 

“Blackmail? What are you talking about? If I need something, I can get it myself. I just quit the circus and came to an interview here. I thought it would give me a slim chance to see you again.” 

Hisoka follows Illumi's moves while using Gyo to focus his attention. It's a good technique, but he's no fool. The assassin is probably showing off at this point. 

“Every time I see you, you manage to amaze me, Illumi.”

Hisoka's voice is soft and honest as he looks through the hypnotic mirage.  
***  
Illumi can't help but feel an odd flutter in his chest when Hisoka attempts to unlock his mind with those inquisitive eyes and forcefully drowns him in that golden voice full of syrup. Memories come flooding back, clear as yesterday. The same exquisite aura that absorbs attention from hundreds, no, thousands of people at once. The same flourish and performative flair that accompanies each and every single one of his movements on the tightrope then, and in Illumi's room now. The same gleam of faked astonishment in those eyes when he looks at Illumi, as if to drink in his suppressed essence, to dig his claws in and pull Illumi out from the shadow. It's all a show, to mesmerize him, to fool him into believing that Hisoka actually thought about him at all these past two years.

Hisoka probably picked up news about the butler's openings on the streets, and with his cunning, the magician must have made a realization that something odd is going on at the Zoldyck's estate. Perhaps, an opposing family has hired him to infiltrate and spy on the Family? Maybe, they might have already found out about Alluka and intend to have Hisoka work here under disguise in order to steal Alluka's power.

“Every time I see you, I regret not killing you.”

Illumi increases his speed, making the Zoldyck's signature Rhythm Echo move impossible to detect with the naked eyes and dizzying even with those who know how to use Gyo. He sends his poisoned darts flying with a curve throw, aiming for Hisoka's legs hoping to immobilize him completely. If he can secure and interrogate Hisoka to find out who the real enemy behind all this is, he could have a golden chance to prove his worth to Father.  
***  
The assassin moves so fast that Hisoka loses sight of him. What marvelous creatures these Zoldycks are, and how impeccable must their training be to achieve such accuracy. Yet Illumi's perfection goes beyond his fighting skills, at least for the magician. His natural elegance and lean shape are a perfect contrast to the rough edges of his personality. That robotic-like self he likes to show must surely hide his true colors. Even black is a combination of every color, and Hisoka yearns to discover all of his shades.

The pins reach him at such speed that he can barely evade them. One scrapes his pants, leaving a tear on the fabric, and even though Hisoka dodges most of them, two end up piercing his right quad. Illumi's poison works fast. As the magician tries to remove the projectiles, his leg is already getting numb; a useless arm was already bad enough. He can't help but stumble across the room, getting slightly dizzy from the paralyzing agent getting into his bloodstream. 

“Oh, that's unfortunate.” -pants- “Every time I see you, and every time I think of you, I regret not taking you with me.”

Hisoka wavers against a desk. His leg is failing him, and in an attempt to avoid the floor, he topples down some of the neatly arranged books, and pencils, and even a teacup that must have been more expensive than his head. He needs to be stronger; his rigorous training is not enough to match the Zoldyck heir, not yet at least. He might die now -just like that night on the streets, with his legs trembling from blood loss- but he wishes to live, for once, in order to stand up against that mysterious teen again, at least once.  
***  
Illumi quickly follows behind as Hisoka stumbles into his study nook. The magician flails about with his sturdy but paralyzed limbs, knocking over all the books Illumi carefully arranged minutes earlier. Of course, each of his theatrical appearances has to turn Illumi's world upside down and then some, topping it with inconvenience and mistakes...

...like his memento from their fated meeting. A tiny shade of purple fell gracefully from between the pages of those poor fallen books on to the floor, landing next to one of the desk's legs right by Hisoka's limp hand. The dried midnight candy bloom slipped out from the assassin's evocation bringing forth deeply buried nights of young Illumi caressing the drying petals, desperately trying to preserve the freshly baked vanilla-honey pastry scent, and hurried hands sneaking this daring evidence of a bold connection with the outside world away from other Zoldyck's eyes. Mother would have whipped him if she ever found out. Would it be the typical fifty lashes for not following the script perfectly on a job? Another fifty for holding onto frivolous inanimate objects that harbor projected, unnecessary attachment? Add on an additional hundred for leaving a witness alive? How many more for lying and hiding the flower from the Family since it's not an approved decoration nor property of the mansion?

Yes, those physical punishments from Kikyo would be terrifying. What's even worse is Father's look. That one look of disappointment. Those steel-toned eyes say it all with just one glance - Illumi has failed again. Not only would this confirm that he indeed could never be heir, but perhaps he would be deemed unfit to train and raise their newly chosen heir Killua. Even this sacred responsibility, the most healthy relationship he has among his brothers, would be stripped away from Illumi too, if Silva ever finds out.

He knows all this, yet why did he risk that chance to keep holding onto such pain?  
***  
Trying and failing to compose himself, Hisoka watches as the assassin stands in front of him in immaculate silence. Is he choosing how to kill him? Is that how it all ends for him? A life of misery brought forward from a childhood of torment and need; what an unfair fate had the world prepared for him. If this will be his last moment on this ruthless and sickening world, at least he wants to look at those deep black eyes one last time, let those infinite windows of night take him to the ultimate darkness. 

Hisoka raises his head, but the proud Zoldyck towering over him is not even looking in his direction. Is his life that insignificant that not even his executioner would grant him a merciful glance? Or maybe, Illumi's eyes are lost in the precious possessions scattered through the floor. The magician follows his line of sight and discovers what was capturing the assassin's attention.

The sight of the paper-thin flower digs a knife into Hisoka's chest. He remembers, of course, of that minimal token of appreciation he'd given Illumi, along with the promise of a partnership that he assumed was unattainable. There it is, intact and preserved like a divine treasure. The magician bites his bottom lip to keep it from trembling, and with a nervous hand, he reaches to touch it, just barely, as if he was trying to dismantle a cruel fabrication of his ever creative mind. 

In another world, under different circumstances, Hisoka and Illumi could've met and had a boring, average friendship. He'd see the teen smile at him, and they wouldn't feel the need to cry over the sight of a single withered flower. At another time, they could've been happy and live without knowing the pain of existence.

‘Illumi…” 

Hisoka raises his head again, looking at that person who he begrudgingly holds dear. I will give you a thousand flowers if that would bring you joy. He thinks, hoping the Zoldyck can read the feelings almost dripping from the golden of his eyes.  
***  
Illumi is well-acquainted with silent tears. Oftentimes, he doesn't even realize what's going on until he feels the rare wetness trickling from his chin to this neck, the irregular rhythm in his chest, or that odd heat rising on his cheeks. And it must always be silent. He has found out early on that sniffles, audible sobbing, and God-forbid - wailing would only earn harsh consequences. Night after night, as a wee toddler, Illumi learned to perfect the art of letting his emotions soak through soft pillows without a sound.

Have you ever heard the song of silent tears? When they come crashing down, the break echoes an ocean of hurt.

The Zoldyck's eldest stares at Hisoka, and watches the way his full lips tremble in silence. He knows what that feels like. He knows the swallowed sobs behind that awfully quiet smeared made-up face.

“You're finally quiet.”

But perhaps, this dead silence does not feel good either. Maybe stillness is only tranquil when Illumi is by himself. With Hisoka, it sounds less like peace, and more like the calm before a tsunami.

Illumi finds his body walking over to the other side of his desk, hands shaking and fumbling, reaching for the antidote.  
***  
With a trembling hand, Hisoka wipes the tears from his chin as soon as Illumi moves towards the table. Yes, he is finally quiet; there's a knot inside his throat and a crippling pain growing from his chest, making his stomach feel hollow. That flamboyant act he's constantly playing is fading as his most honest feelings cut through the surface, diluting his make-up along with his smug facade. 

There are no sarcastic remarks to evade questions, no confident smirking to hide his fears. Underneath that explosion of color and sunshine that Hisoka presents to the world, there's nothing but a scared child longing for affection. His scarred skin aches for the tender touch of a caring hand, as he considers himself unfit to be loved. Who could ever enjoy the company of a feral fox that knows nothing except fighting and cheating to survive? 

He can't contain the bitter streams of salt flowing from his eyes, making his golden irises glow like the sun peeking through the rain. Two years ago, he thought Illumi would discard that cheap flower as soon as he turned around, Hisoka is an intelligent man, but he doesn't know how to respond to that gesture. He remains silent, feeling the combined dizziness of the turmoil of emotions and the poison in his veins. 

He would run away if he could, hide until he can act and talk like himself again. Or he'd risk death by holding Illumi in his arms and never letting go. Yes, that would be perfect if he dared.  
***  
The paralyzing agent the Zoldyck assassins used is made from the curare plant usually found in Southern Amerika. The effect ranges from partial paralysis to asphyxiation depending on dosage. Illumi did dispatch enough poisoned needles to severely incapacitate Hisoka, but the magician was able to dodge the majority of them so there is a chance of revival if Illumi acts quickly.

Illumi eventually locates the small vial of antidote after what seems like a decade of clumsily knocking over his neat display of poisons and potions. He hurriedly walks around the desk, crouches down on the floor and gently cups his intruder's damp, cold cheeks.

”Drink up.”

Using one hand holding Hisoka's chin and parting his trembling pout with the pad of his thumb, Illumi tilts the vial of dark liquid into the magician's mouth with his other hand. A few drops spill out from the corner of Hisoka's plump lips, dripping down his delicate cleft chin. The assassin eyes trace the purplish swelling drop of potion lingers there, fallen and trapped like himself in this odd situation, tangled up with a peculiar street performer gone rogue.

Illumi finds himself breathing in Hisoka's scent. Still sugary sweet, not dissimilar to the carnival's obnoxious cotton candy stall, with a mix of naturally musky scent of bustling bundles of muscles. Their faces are dangerously close, and both of Illumi's hands are still making direct contact with Hisoka's magnetizing frame.

The Zoldyck's eldest quickly withdraws his palms from Hisoka's face, yet remain crouching right in front of him, face only inches away from those teary wet cheeks.  
***  
Trusting in Illumi's desperate measures, Hisoka drinks what the assassin pours into his mouth. The dense and bitter liquid clashes against the sweetness of the touch those cold hands are offering him. Even his tears become sugary by that sudden act of tenderness. He feels the concern and care being delivered through that faint touch ever so slightly. No one before has gifted him that minimal amount of appreciation.

At the hands' retreat, Hisoka finds himself jerking his head forward in an attempt to keep that heart-melting feeling on his touch-starved skin. His arm is still numb, and the rest of his body is tingling with a peculiar sensation. Good thing Illumi acted quickly; that poison was strong. But just knowing that he decided against killing him brings a smile to the magician's face. 

Looking straight into his eyes, Hisoka smiles, arching his damp eyes in a bittersweet form. He's embarrassed, which doesn't happen often. Having the assassin so close to him, drinking every ounce of that unbearable yet addictive moment, Hisoka wishes he could touch him back. But he has no excuses to do so, and his body is still failing him, so he chooses to use his words. 

“You still have a really pretty face.”

***  
llumi snaps back to reality the moment his captive manages to speak. The same mocking tone filled with fake syrup.

“And you're still currently my hostage.” 

Once again, he's tempted to say You, too. Especially when Hisoka looks so small and vulnerable, blushing under his long lashes and golden irises, despite his size and height.

Illumi grabs Hisoka by the shoulders, effortlessly dragging him onto a leather bound chair in his study. The assassin gently props the limp magician up, and wets his beak with a fresh glass of water.

“Drink up. Hydration helps get the toxin out faster and will alleviate the soreness later on.”

***  
Hisoka accepts the water and drinks from it, quenching a thirst he didn't even know he had. He looks around for a moment, noticing how the room doesn't reflect the young man who inhabits it. 

A few minutes ago, the magician thought of himself as a knight in flashy outfit on his way to rescue his Zoldyck prince. And now he was being handled like a puppet and a hostage. He has to refrain from laughing at the irony. 

“If I am a hostage and not a prisoner, that means you want something in exchange for my freedom.”

His body is starting to feel better, but he makes no visible movement to prove it. Not that he could move around all of a sudden, but the paralysis seems to be subsiding. 

“What can you possibly want from me?”

***  
Hisoka slouches in Illumi's chair, his whole being a bright, stark contrast to the neutral palette painted throughout the room. Classic dark wood furniture, plain beige walls, plush yet plain copper-toned beddings clash against the vivid moving picture that is the magician.

Illumi glances down at himself. Plain blue jeans, baggy jacket, slightly worn sneakers. He himself is the epitome of ordinary. Being plain helps you blend in and disappear without ever being noticed. It's what he was taught and gotten accustomed to, it's helpful with his life as an assassin. Standing out and getting unwanted attention never ends well when you need to carry out a quick hit.

Yet, somehow he attracted Hisoka's attention when he definitely did not mean to do so. Is he a failure at his destiny as a Zoldyck? Or does this mean he's unable to suppress his inner desire to be noticed? To matter? To be seen as more than a skilled assassin? To exist as an independent soul? Odd how all of this manifests in such an unexpected character. All his secret wishes are fulfilled by a complete stranger, and not someone who actually knows him.

Maybe, that can be changed.

Illumi hands Hisoka his cell phone, eyes wide, face expressionless.

“I want your number.”

***  
Is this a poison induced hallucination? The beautiful face in front of him pronounces those words as if they had no meaning. But they do, and for Hisoka, they mean the world. Of course, the assassin would choose the practical approach; only a fool like him would leave nothing but a flower behind. Yet because of that simple gesture, this moment came to life. It is funny how two completely different lives can intersect in such a way. Is it fate? Maybe nothing but a coincidence brought upon by their paths. Whatever this is, Hisoka wouldn't want it any other way. 

If this messed-up world can grant him the presence of such a breathtaking silent connection, maybe life it's worth living after all.

“Of course, I'll give you the honor of my contact information. But you gotta promise that you won't ghost me or anything like that.” 

Hisoka raises his right hand and takes the phone, his left arm seems functional again, but he refuses to use it. With his pointy nail clacking against the screen, he sets his number under Hisoka the magician along with an Ace of hearts emoji.  
***  
llumi cocks his head slightly, birdlike in motion.

“‘Ghost’... you? Why would I kill you right after giving you the antidote? Anyway, exchanging numbers should make it easier to find each other for future missions. I see value from partnering with you on certain jobs - your fighting style makes a good diversion. Of course, I will split my portion of the pay with you fairly.”

Despite getting partially paralyzed by Illumi's toxic needles, Hisoka is not to be underestimated. It takes a highly skilled talent to climb up Kukuroo mountain, get through the Zoldyck's gate, climb up the wall to Illumi's room with just a tiny string of aura and to manage hitting him with those pesky playing cards. Hisoka will prove to be a beneficial partner, indeed, as his loud mannerism, performative moves, and especially his highly... distracting look draw away people's attention to allow Illumi the luxury of completing complex missions much easier.

“Of course, none of this would be necessary if you were to be chosen as one of our new butler apprentices. Do you think you would get picked?”

***  
Of course, Hisoka is thinking about the deepest and most meaningful connection of his life, and Illumi is only referring to work. But it's more than nothing, and he will accept it. He doesn't even correct his future partner when he gets him wrong. How can a skilled assassin be so innocent and cute? 

Hearing the Zoldyck's eldest recognize his skills as a fighter brings much-needed air back to his deflated self. It is the second time Illumi finds him a worthy opponent, and even though he always ends up on the floor, that only pushes him forward. He'd lie if he didn't admit that his initial fight with the assassin two years ago made him train harder and thrive to succeed. Hisoka is competitive by nature; he will not fall behind. He'll keep on training until he can be the one on top of the fight. 

“Well, your father already put me to the test- tests, actually; he was reluctantly impressed. But I think I'll pass on the job. I want to be something more than a glorified slave. Will you still call me?”

***  
llumi thumbs a text to the newly added contact: Illumi Z. 

“I do not enjoy calling people. Texting gets straight to the point, and I don't have to listen to pleasant nonsense.”

He pours another glass of water and puts it on the desk in front of Hisoka.

“Being a Zoldyck's butler is a privilege one must earn, and not all can achieve. There is no way Father would have agreed to hire you. You're too prideful and unpredictable.”

The relief washes over him quickly. Had Hisoka truly wanted to be a butler, and actually gotten the job, he would become one of them. Quickly, the Zoldyck's elders would whip him into shape. They would beat that arrogant smile, the vibrant sing song voice, or that lively way he steps and moves out of him in no time at all. And then he would be malleable, obedient and submissive. Hisoka would lose that precious warmth, the sunray in the way he grins at nothing at all.  
***  
Noticing how his body is starting to react and how Illumi is not trying to attempt against his life, Hisoka reaches for the glass of water and sits more comfortably on the chair. He noticed something in the way the assassin speaks, some form of encapsulated melancholy he can't quite decipher. 

“Yes, your father told me all about the privilege of servitude. He's quite the talker. I was mostly trying hard not to fall asleep during one of his speeches. If I ever were to work here, I might borrow your pins and stick them to my ears to stay sane.”

Hisoka wonders if Illumi ever laughs; he bets there's a melodic tone hiding there and probably a little creepy too, just like him. 

As he tries to stand, his left leg fails him for a moment, and he almost falls forward. It's getting late, and he has to leave before Silva finds him wandering around the premises. At least this time, he knows how to contact Illumi. 

“Fine, no calls then. But you have to text me back.”

***  
Confident Hisoka is beautiful and disturbingly overwhelming. Subdued Hisoka lounging in a chair, not fully in control of his own limbs, shakily stealing mouthfuls of water is a sight to behold. The way crystal clear droplets linger at the corner of his mouth make Illumi's heart skip a beat.

Illumi looks out the window and breathes out nonchalantly, voice pitched high with concealed nodes of hidden thoughts.

“Okay. I can't promise it won't be another two years though.”


	3. The Heist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illumi asked for Hisoka’s help with a job from the Phantom Troupe. They run into Bisky who’s also after a certain previous treasure at the Met Museum in Yorkshin. Meanwhile, Hisoka discovered a precious piece of personal information about Illumi.

Yorkshin,  
Hisoka: 22 years old  
Illumi: 18 years old

Illumi types furiously on his Vertu phone with both thumbs. He never quite enjoys the irritating tapping of his own fingers on the sapphire crystal glass screen protected by titanium and ostrich leather casing. Especially now when he's already annoyed by the noisy dive bar Hisoka picked in the most rundown, crime-ridden neighborhood of Yorkshin as their mission briefing meetup location. Everything surrounding him right now is loud, smoky, and slimy as if the air is pulsating with Yorkshin's filthy underground society's worst. This kind of venue somehow makes Hisoka "feel at home". Illumi hates it whenever the magician smirks at his disdain for loud noise and crowded space. Maybe he should stop letting Hisoka decide on meeting spots, a decision he should have made earlier in the past four years working together.

The Zoldyck glances at the time. It's still four minutes before their appointment, but Illumi is ready to leave. “Where are you? I'm already here.” Illumi hastily taps on the big, bright Send button.  
***  
After a cheerful bell rings in his pocket, Hisoka fetches his battered Samsung phone ignoring the fading black and red heart-patterned case. He slides his thumb through the thin cracks on the screen and sees a message from his favorite Zoldyck. “Showing up too early is also considered impolite.”

He sends that message along with a few eye-rolling emojis as he was making his way into the bar. Hisoka smiles as soon as he sees his associate sitting uncomfortably at the counter, unconsciously pressing his elbows to his ribs in an attempt to occupy less space. 

Hisoka approaches him, hiding his presence, only when he's a few feet behind his friend, he texts him again. He feels more comfortable around the outcasts and the noise, but he likes to antagonize his gorgeous killer doll just as much. Over the last four years, it has become almost a sport for the magician. “But it makes me so happy that you're eager to see me, darling~”  
***  
Despite being under drinking age, Illumi can easily get all forms of booze and drugs in this area of Yorkshin. He mouths at the bartender in the midst of loud jazz and drunkards laughing: "Two whiskeys on the rocks." The two of them have been meeting up and working together on odd missions all around the world the past few years and Illumi has come to match his partner's drink order, in the name of efficiency and convenience. He himself does not care for alcohol since it's simply another form of addictive poison to the Zoldycks. Illumi combs through his waterfall of silky black hair and turns to Hisoka. “I'm indifferent about seeing your face. What I need is your skillset, that is all.”

Illumi briefly scans Hisoka's form, appreciating the ever-growing ratio of chest and shoulders to waist, then glances down at his phone, swiping through the photo gallery to pull up a building blueprint.  
***  
After many missions together, Hisoka has gotten used to the inexpressive tone of his partner in crime. He's also learned that Illumi is almost as sarcastic as him and, more often than not, will have a mordacious comment full of sass to answer his many taunting attempts. The magician loves the way their peculiar relationship works. 

“You know my skills are always at your disposal, Illu.”

Hisoka takes a seat at one of the bar stools beside the assassin. He can never get over just how beautiful Illumi is; his hair has grown so much over the years, and there's no apparent trace of that awkward teen he saw four years ago at the Zoldyck's mansion. He's growing and evolving into a handsome man. 

Hisoka rests his elbow on the bar and glances sideways at his friend, supporting his head on the palm of his hand. 

“What is it this time? You mentioned something about a mission that I would find interesting, and I'm intrigued.”  
***  
Illumi takes the whiskey glasses from the bartender and places one in front of Hisoka, then turns to glare into the other as if to inspect the content.

“Yes, I do have a job I could use your skills in. I'm sure you've heard of the client, they are from Meteor City.”

He wrinkles his nose in disgust and puts down the glass.

“Gen'ei Ryodan.”

Illumi sighs. His specialty is assassination and manipulation, yet sometimes the Family pushes appalling missions like this his way even when it underutilizes his skills. The profit share is good, Father said. And Grandfather mentions that he needs to learn that it's all a business, not a hobby, and that he's not supposed to decline jobs he finds no interest in especially if it brings the Family more fortune or notoriety.

“They want to rob the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Since they are but a talentless bunch of swindlers, they called for the Zoldyck's help in stealth and manpower. I specialize in silent kills, but I find no pleasure in robberies. I figure you wouldn't mind the dirt on your hands for this. Half of my share, which is 10% of the Family's commission.”

The assassin pulls up the Met Museum's blueprint on his luxury mobile phone, showing the floorplan to Hisoka.

“We rendezvous with the Ryodan at the back entrance. One of them can break into the security system, but can only keep it disabled for 30 minutes top. They want all hands on deck to clean the museum completely out. I'm in charge of disabling all guards and any perimeter patrols. You will assist me, then split off here at the staircase, and proceed to take inventory in the jewelry and precious stones gallery. Each of the Ryodans is in charge of a specific area, our goal is to take everything of value and leave no trace behind. Are you in?”  
***  
Leaning closer to look into the assassin's ridiculous and overpriced phone, Hisoka takes the opportunity to subtly invade his personal space. He follows Illumi's explanation, remembering every detail in the process. Contrary to what his looks might suggest, the magician is almost as intelligent and analytical as his Zoldyck counterpart. Still, it is marvelous each time Illumi gets professional, and Hisoka finds himself stealing a few glances of that porcelain complexion while he sips on his drink. 

“I'm familiar with the Ryodan; word on the street says they're strong and ruthless, especially their leader. Count me in; it's been boring for me lately, and you know how much I enjoy working with you.”

Hisoka drains his glass of whiskey and directs his attention to Illumi. Of course, the elite killer considers thieves a lower class, especially those from Meteor City. He wonders if, in the eyes of the Zoldyck's eldest, he is also a worthless, inferior type of man, yet the thought doesn't reflect on his face. 

“So when is this thing taking place? It's a big job; we should have a meeting prior and make sure every possible setback is contemplated in the action and contingency plans. This will be a pain to carry out.”  
***  
Illumi flinches as Hisoka moves in right next to him, glancing at the museum blueprint. His burly arms are almost touching the assassin's side, his body rippling with power yet his movement fluid and subtle.

“Mission drops tomorrow. That's what I communicated with the client. It's not really that complex, the plan is fairly straightforward: divide and conquer. Its difficulty lies in execution and swiftness. From point of entry to exit, we only have 30 minutes. Which is exactly why we need all hands on deck and have everyone assigned to a specific area for mass coverage in a minimal timeframe. I already briefed their leader on the additional hired hand I'm bringing on, so they won't be surprised to see you at the rendezvous point.”

Illumi can smell the odd sweet scent mixed with cheap whiskey in Hisoka's breath at this distance. And just like his partner, that smell is equally infuriating and fascinating.  
***  
Words flow in an endless stream from those soft-looking lips that usually remain silent; it is delightful to hear him speak so much. Hisoka extends his hand to point at a specific point in the blueprint on Illumi's phone and gently taps the tip of his manicured nail against the screen. 

“So we will take care of the guards and then split here. Sounds like a solid plan.”

Hisoka pondered over the idea for a few seconds. It is a big job, and it needs to be executed perfectly. He trusts in Illumi's skills enough to take a leap of faith on command, but he doesn't know the Ryodan members. His own experience tells him that Meteor City criminals are not to be trusted.

“Don't you think tomorrow might be a little soon? How much do you know these Ryodan people? As far as I know, they might screw everything up, leaving us behind to deal with the consequences. Maybe taking a few days to run some background checks would be good, don't you agree?”  
***  
Illumi turns his head and looks directly into those golden foxy eyes. Odd of Hisoka to suggest a delay - his spontaneous partner usually prefers to jump straight into the action.

“They have worked with the Family before. Of course, it would be naïve to trust anyone completely, that is not the Zoldyck's way. However, we have had fair dealings with them so far. The Ryodans know not to cross a Zoldyck. Are you too scared to work with me on this job? Everything has been scoped out and planned, I scheduled all details to be carried out tomorrow. It must not be postponed any further.”

The assassin responds in a flat, emotionless tone but his fingers can't help but tap on the surface of the bar counter with exasperation.  
***  
At the sound of the word "scared," Hisoka's eyebrows shoot up for a second. He's worked with the assassin in enough missions for Illumi to know for a fact that he does not get scared easily. Most people would say that the magician's lack of interest in his own safety might border a worrisome disregard for staying alive. 

Hisoka notices that his friend seems uneasy as opposed to his usual composed demeanor. Is he bothered about something regarding this job? Illumi doesn't like to steal and considers it a lesser use of his skills, but is that the only reason behind his behavior? The magician meets those dark pools full of mystery and wonders what is his favorite puzzle hiding now? 

“Scared of a robbery? It pains me how little you know me, darling. You, on the other hand, are never so interested in jumping quickly into a job. If they're pushing for a quick assault, you should question their motives. Why can't we reschedule? That museum won't go anywhere.”  
***

Illumi shifts uncomfortably in his bar stool. Hisoka is right, he usually is the careful planner out of the two. Illumi often praises himself on being the most cautious strategist while delivering flawless execution among the Zoldyck's offspring.

“I'm the one who suggested moving quickly and set the date for tomorrow. I have high confidence in our success rate. I also have a personal reason why I need this mission to happen precisely tomorrow night. If I'm not away from Kukuroo mountain for a job, Mother would have made me stay inside the estate for a frivolous, noisy, crowded birthday party. Even though I find robberies and thieving distasteful, that is still preferable over a social gathering.”

Illumi looks down at his full glass of whiskey, already regretting his choice to tell Hisoka his real motive. The assassin is not fond of lies, simply because his marks usually perish too quickly to call for much verbal deception.  
***  
Ah, he knew there was something else there. Hisoka always assumed that the assassin wasn't a social person, but he was surprised to learn that the Zoldycks have birthday celebrations. In the end, every filthy rich family is the same, killers or not. But of course, the prince of darkness doesn't like parties. 

“Oh, I see. You arranged one of the biggest robberies in the city's history so you wouldn't have to mingle among socialites.”

Hisoka wonders what a party in that massive mansion would look like. How many people would actually fit there? He generally hates rich people; the way they look down on everyone and consider themselves superior makes him sick with rage. He thought Illumi was like that too at first, but he soon discovered an unknown sense of similarity between them. 

It was odd still that Ilumi would risk his mother's rage by taking a job instead of going to the party. But since work is the Zoldycks' priority, he was in the clear. The assassin hasn't said it specifically, but Hisoka could risk an educated guess from the way those black eyes seem darker with a sort of embarrassment. “Is it your birthday, Illu?”

He asks with a sweet smile plastered on his face, as he raises a thin eyebrow in anticipation.  
***  
Swapping the stuffy, obnoxious air among high society at home for sleazy, morally questionable company perhaps is not the best idea Illumi has, but it's the only option to get out of his Mother Kikyo's extravagant affair. She was so proud to hear he is willing to put work above personal gratification - as if Illumi ever wants to be a trophy in a glass case to be paraded around with his siblings at the dinner table anyway.

“Yes, indeed. I want no part of the unnecessary tradition. I don't get why people feel the need to commemorate an annual milestone of being born. How irrational. In any case, I would like to finish this job swiftly and precisely. The Family believes that attaching the Zoldyck's name to this Met Museum heist would be beneficial in the long run.”

Illumi toys with the whiskey glass on the counter. Perhaps adding a high profile job to his list of achievements would earn a nod of approval from Father as an eighteen birthday present.  
***  
In a normal friendship, both parties would know personal information about each other. But for them, everything is far from ordinary. Hisoka knows his friend's weapon of choice and how he sighs in a quiet expression of happiness after a well-executed kill. Yet, learning about his birth date is quite a success in the titanic task of breaching through Zoldyck barriers. 

“Your birthday is tomorrow then; I was wondering when that might be. I get it that you don't like parties, but it's nice when people remember and congratulate you. It's a way of saying they're happy you were born and glad you're still alive.”

Hisoka looks away for a moment as his thoughts wander. He's never had a birthday party -except for that one time an acrobat gave him a cupcake by chance. In his twenty-two years of life, not a single being had expressed happiness about his existence. The Zoldycks might be twisted, but at least they have the basics covered. 

A new realization arose in the magician's mind, and he looked back up to meet the assassin with a puzzled look. 

“Weird question after all these years of... partnership, but dear, How old are you?”  
***  
Of course Hisoka would be entertained by large crowds, and outrageous parties. He has always commanded attention in public settings wherever the two of them go anywhere. Unlike the expectation from a Zoldyck to be able to blend in and disappear from the crowd, Hisoka thrives on having an audience. The magician himself is a performance, his appearance, movement, his whole existence a show. Hisoka must have always relished birthdays as he gets to be the center of attention even more than usual.

“I'm turning eighteen tomorrow. Not that it matters. I do not care for superfluous celebrations.”

Illumi is starting to play with his hair, then immediately stops himself and tucks a few strands behind his ear.

“I wonder, do clowns ever tell their ages?”  
***  
Hisoka freezes when he hears his friend's age. Considering his serious demeanor and composed self, the magician guessed he'd be closer to his age. After some quick math, he realizes just how young Illumi was when they first met; and yet, how unbearably skilled for fighting and killing. Being a professional assassin by the age of fourteen must have meant sacrificing an unfair portion of his childhood. Deciphering Illumi is not an easy task, but Hisoka takes every piece he can find, hoping to finish the puzzle. 

He doesn't appreciate being called a "clown," and Illumi knows that. But watching him in an attempt to let go of the imposed robotic behavior is refreshing. Maybe he should grant him some satisfaction to reinforce it. 

“Oh well, you see; I have no clue what clowns do, considering I'm a magician.”

Hisoka fakes annoyance as he plays with his empty glass. Yes, that was probably convincing enough. But still, Illumi asking a personal question was rare and deserved an answer as well. Was he just curious or, was it an actual attempt at getting to know him coated in sarcasm? Probably the first one. 

“And magicians don't hide their age; I'm twenty-two. However, the trick on looking this good forever, that is a secret.”  
***  
The magician seems hurt by Illumi's words. The assassin doesn't have a need to rely on conversational manipulation often, his Nen-charged needles and hypnosis usually do the trick. Perhaps his attempt at building rapport in a playful manner has backfired, and he might lose a valuable partner for a piss poor execution. He should have not been foolish and should stick to facts and directives next time.

“Yes, you sure do look rather presentable for your age.” 

Illumi follows up briskly. He wants to please and means to mend their relationship. He can't afford to lose his partner now, especially right before a high-stake mission like tomorrow's heist.

“You're not that much older than me. But you are quite skilled and I appreciate our ongoing relationship.”  
***  
Six years have passed since Hisoka first laid eyes on that elusive assassin; the magician never found a most intriguing and beautiful creature anywhere else. He always tries to look his best when he meets him, especially doing his makeup and covering his multiple wounds with texture surprise. Hearing a compliment from Illumi was something he yearned for. But this wasn't it. At all.

“‘Rather presentable’? and ‘For my age’? jeez, Illu, thanks. Not only am I old, but barely ok to look at, nice to know. Good thing that I'm ‘quite skilled’, otherwise, there'd be nothing worth mentioning about me.”

That came out with his usual sarcastic tone, but the assassin's words sounded honest; that was a blow on Hisoka's pride. Maybe he isn't and will never be enough in any way under Zoldyck standards. His next words would be a testament to his confident self being nothing but a performance, as his eyes grew darker with sorrow. 

“Not all of us are blessed with a perfect porcelain face and perfect silky hair thanks to elite genes. But I'm glad you can find it in yourself to appreciate the convenience of our relationship.”  
***  
Outside of the occasional banter from his younger brother Killua after their intense training sessions, Illumi has never had a casual conversion with anyone as much as with Hisoka. Of course, they have been excellent business associates but as the past four years went by, there is also a growing sense of comfort in knowing he can rely on someone to watch his back whenever he gets a complex mission. Today might be the last time Illumi gets to talk to his one and only partner the way this conversation is going. How did he mess up so badly at trying to show his appreciation to Hisoka?

“I genuinely mean what I said. Noone could pull off fighting on high heels like you do. Or looking like... (eyes Hisoka up and down) ‘that’... and casually casting off enough of a Nen barrier to make people run off fearing for their lives. My sincere apologies if I have offended you.”

Illumi feels his face getting hot. Is he getting poisoned? He made sure to only touch his lips on the cheap whiskey, there shouldn't have been enough alcohol to make him feel dizzy like this. Perhaps he needs to be more disciplined and get back to practicing poison intake every day.  
***  
After he blurts out what sounds like praise and compliments in his own unique style, Illumi has embarrassment drawn all over his delicate face. He's even blushing, and what a delightful view that is. Hisoka laughs honestly and cheerfully. He doesn't mean to sink his partner deeper into shame, but he can't help it. He's happy. 

Sincere compliments are a rarity in this world, and he doesn't get that treat often. Besides, he marvels at the particularities on which Illumi decides to focus. Hisoka feels seen, even if his multiple masks are still up. 

“Thank you, Illu. I appreciate your words and accept your apology. And I could teach you how to fight in heels if you want, it'd be easy for someone as agile as you.”

Hisoka looks at his favorite Zoldyck with uncharacteristic fondness. He's obviously not a fan of the cheap drink he's holding. The magician reaches out a hand and barely touches the assassin's chin in an attempt to make him look at him. 

“I really appreciate our relationship too.”

As soon as those words leave his plump lips, his mouth stretches into a smile that almost makes his golden eyes disappear.  
***  
Hisoka seems to enjoy touching, or at least pretending to, as much as possible with Illumi. It's rather unclear whether he does that to anger the assassin, or if he's simply naturally someone who favors physical contact. The magician is a compelling character, nothing like anyone Illumi is used to being around. Even after years of working together, Illumi still has not quite figured out when Hisoka is telling the truth.

They finish their drinks, go over the plan once more and part ways. Both leave with traces of booze-induced uncertainty and butterflies in their stomach.

***

The following evening, Hisoka and Illumi show up in a deserted alley one block away from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. A group of thirteen solemn faces greet them, and quickly confirm detailed execution of the heist. Their leader, a young adult with average height clad in fur-lined black coat adorned with odd religious symbols, watches both Illumi and Hisoka closely. However, as everyone receives their assignment, they simply get into position with no further question. A short blonde pulls out a mobile device, quickly typing away a string of complex codes: "We're in. Report back here as soon as you're done with your assigned area. 29 minutes, and 50 seconds.

Illumi is already on the move. He silently paces in front of the magician, graciously turning and weaving through dark corridors throughout the marvelous museum. Once the duo reaches their designated staircase, he turns around and quickly nods at Hisoka, whispering: "See you in a bit." 

And before the magician could blink, Illumi was gone.  
***  
The intel is off. The Meteor City's gang is already here, way ahead of schedule.

Biscuit Krueger, Double-Star Stone Hunter, smooths down her pink poofy dress and suppresses her Nen to stay hidden in the Met Museum's jewelry gallery. She silently curses under her breath for the cheaply acquired tip proved to be just ever so slightly off, and is about to throw all of her plans out of the window.

Biscuit, or Bisky as she likes to be called, is a petite, adorable, absolutely charming precious stone lover. She enjoys adding to her collection of beautiful shiny stones by mostly legal means, but as a Transmuter at heart, her morale can be questionable when it proves beneficial to be flexible. When she hears about a potential break-in from the notorious Ryodans to clear out the Met museum, Bisky comes up with the idea of emptying the gemstone room right before the gang arrives. That way, she gets to keep her precious finds, while the Troupe gets the public blame since they technically would steal the rest of the goods.

Unfortunately, either the intel is bad, or her calculation is off. A dangerous, ominous aura is rounding the corner and coming her way.  
***  
The grace and preciseness of the assassin never fail to amaze him, and Hisoka smiles to himself before turning around towards his destination as well. Having such a skilled companion is always an advantage, but besides the convenience of the agreement, the magician feels thankful for the opportunity to have a true friendship. Even if it is a clearly one-sided one.

When he arrives at his designated spot, Hisoka notices the expensive pieces surrounding him. Jewelry has always been one of the most frivolous displays of power and wealth throughout the ages. Rich people can afford it and poor bastards can only dream about having something as pretty in their hands. It's a distinct tag worn on the outside as a testimony of status. Disgusting, yet, mesmerizing to the eye.

Hisoka stared at a piece in particular, it was a deep dark-blue stone in the center of a platinum ring; it almost seemed black under the absence of light. Maybe Illumi was like a piece of jewelry, gorgeous and valuable. And too much to ask for a low-life like him. “I wish I wasn't such a poor bastard.”

Hisoka started to work, swiftly opening and taking every piece of jewelry on his reach, relishing the touch of the expensive materials. “Maybe one day I'll have pretty things too, I'll just have to work hard.”

Something is not right, he can feel it. But he can't pinpoint what he's perceiving. All the guards have been taken care of, then what is it that's making him feel so... Observed.  
***  
Of course, the Ryodan sends a hot young thing to clean out all the jewelry. The only other weakness of Bisky besides precious gemstones.

The Spiders manage to keep a mysteriously low profile on its members despite their notorious successes. Therefore, Bisky is pleasantly surprised to be a handsome, muscular young man shoveling expensive spoils into his bag. He was eyeing her piece earlier, the stunning platinum ring with top-grade velvety blue sapphire. She needs to move quickly before his inexperienced and ungloved hands touch her precious stone.

The man is gorgeous, with a hint of eccentricity. Exquisite facial structure, ripped body, flamboyant outfit, bright makeup, and absurd hairdo for a stealthy job - he must be filled to the brim with overconfidence, thinking no one would see him. Bisky smirks, she has almost five decades of experience defeating burly arrogant men believing themselves to be superior.

“Good evening sir, may I offer a piece of advice?”  
***  
As he keeps bagging the items with little to no regard for their preservation, Hisoka hears a high pitched voice addressing him. Immediately turning around on his heels, holding a card in his free hand. But what he sees unsettles him beyond recognition. It is a child. Probably a young teenage girl clad in a puffy pink dress with ruffles wearing a long blonde ponytail. Who the hell? And how? Saying that was suspicious would've been an understatement. 

“Are you lost, sweetie? I don't have much time, but if you leave now you won't get in trouble, ok?” 

If the magician would have crossed paths with that girl under any other circumstance, he'd probably ignore her. But the whole time and place situation was odd. There is something else about her that makes him uneasy, though. The look on her eyes, as her gaze travels up and down scanning his physique, is disturbing, to say the least.  
***  
Being an expert in Nen knowledge, a kungfu master, and even a former Hunter Exam examiner, Bisky chuckles at the young man's remark.

“Not everything is as it seems. Reality is all but an illusion, sweetheart. You seem strong for your age, but I will easily destroy you without ever having to use my Nen. Now, I usually do not condone criminal activities. However, on this specific occasion, I believe we can bend the rules and work on a mutual agreement here.”

Bisky gracefully lifts a nearby crown made of pure gold and ruby from its display, carefully wraps her gloved fingers around it and walks deliberately towards the thief.

“If you would hear my free advice, never touch precious stones with bare hands. Natural oil and sweat from your palms, and not to mention dirt or whatever else you might have touched will easily dull the shine and even cause damage to these gems. If your main objective is to steal and sell these on the black market, wouldn't you want to get the best price for them?”

Confidently weaving through the crowded gallery full of fragile and expensive displays of history's most opulent work of arts, Bisky moves to stop a few paces in front of the brightly outfitted burglar, and smiles innocently.

“Now that I have shown you my goodwill, are you ready to negotiate?”

***  
Did that kid just call him "sweetheart"? Considering her eloquent speech and the confidence she talked and moved with, Hisoka assumes that this girl is anything but ordinary. He doesn't have a lot of time on his hands, but an opportunity like this is not something he's willing to ignore. After all, following a strange kid that caught his attention before resulted in him meeting Illumi. 

“Oh, I see you're more than meets the eye. I get your point, but I couldn't care less about the selling price of these things. I am nothing but hired help here.”

Hisoka notices the way she effortlessly lifts the heavy golden crown. Maybe she's strong besides knowledgeable about gems and jewelry. A smirk spreads across his face as he considers the particular way in which the night is unfolding. 

“Aren't you planning on taking all of this to sell on the black market too? I'm curious, how can we compromise on this? I will not let you take this stuff; I can't risk failing my task when someone is counting on me.”

Hisoka shuffles a few cards in his hand, and his posture tenses directing all his attention towards her, locking his golden eyes with her warm caramel ones. She might be bluffing for all he knows; it is better to be ready for anything.  
***  
The thief is ready to pounce. His body posture is menacing, in no way or form willing to fold easily. Bisky knows that the Ryodans won't be able to have the security system disabled for long, so they don't have much time left. She needs to convince him quickly, and effectively. She allows her Nen to flow freely, showing off her reserve of energy.

“Listen. Despite my current form in front of you, I have over three decades of experience in physical combat and advanced Nen training. I am a Double Star Stone Hunter, previously Nen educator, and official examiner for the Hunter Exam. I make enough commissions with the Hunter Association that I have no need for the goods here either. I'm actually only interested in one specific stone, the sapphire in that platinum ring. To the average eye, that stone may not seem significant at all among these extravagant jewelry. For experts such as myself, however, this sapphire specimen is a rare, exquisite velvety blue - not too dark, not too diluted, no trace of gray or cloudiness. It is said to be the most perfectly balanced sapphire known to man. And it must be mine. Why do things that shine with polish always make my heart go pitter-pat?”

Bisky tilts her head, examining the oddly vibrant outfit and extravagant demeanor of the thief. How peculiar, how full of himself, how... brave...

“If you want to fight, you should know that I am going to beat, and easily kill you if I transform into my true physical form. I simply do not want to ever do that - even though it is entirely possible in this case, simply because there are only us two here. No one else would see my true form. But fighting in this crowded gallery filled with delicate glass displays and fragile jewelry is not good for your business, especially for you, a hired hand for the Ryodans. Of course, you don't want to disappoint your boss. Why don't we compromise, I'll take my one tiny ring, you take the rest of the goods, and we don't need to resort to violence tonight?”

***  
So, this particular character is not a kid after all; in fact, she's a specialist in her field and a renowned hunter too. Hisoka has to suppress his fighting instinct as he perceives that woman's strong and unyielding aura. There's a fire burning in his chest, begging him to fight her, screw the mission, that would be the chance of a lifetime. But the timing isn't right, and the magician is aware of it. “A hunter, how peculiar, I was wondering if I should take the Hunter's Exam myself, maybe one day, who knows?”

Hisoka unleashes his aura as well. With both hands now, he plays and shuffles the deck of old cards. The room gets dense as both fighters start showing their strength. The magician can feel the difference in their level, but that only makes him feel more interested in that mysterious woman in front of him. 

“I am curious about your true physical form now, you see. I am a magician, and I love to witness a new trick. Besides, I wonder why you feel the need to hide yourself under that fake costume. You said you're not into illegal stuff, so it can't be about that. It's such a pity when people need to hide their true colors just to avoid standing out. Your aura is so strong I can barely breathe; I bet you're the most impressive fighter I've ever seen.”

Considering Hisoka has been in the presence of Silva Zoldick, that compliment was even better than she probably imagined. He is being honest and open with his remarks for a change. She doesn't seem keen about fighting, but he could work with that arrangement she's offering. There's only one problem. 

“I don't think I can compromise on that stone you want though. It is not my boss who I'm trying to impress here. It's my... friend. It's his birthday, and I want to give that ring to him as a gift. It's so dark but bright, pretty yet simple and still expensive, just like him.”

Hisoka doesn't notice how his face relaxes when he talks about Illumi or the way in which his eyes seem to glow as his pupils expand. He is just being honest, after all, all those shiny rocks look the same to him, but that one caught his eye. He doesn't even know if the Zoldyck would like it, but he wants to give him something special.  
***  
A boy in love. The most dangerous kind of opponent there could ever be.

“My true form does allow me to exercise my full physical potential. But it is too muscular for my taste. Too big, too old, too tall, too burly, too rough. This current form I'm in is much cuter, petite, and girly - I like the way I look this way more, exactly how a girl should appear to be. Yet, I do have to sacrifice some of my power reserves as a trade-off - not that I ever have to use 100% of my strength anyway. Plus, being a small, helpless looking girl gives me an advantage over unsuspecting enemies.”

Bisky considers the thief's aura. Strong, flexible: another Transmuter just like herself. With years of experience studying and teaching Nen, the Stone Hunter has developed a keen sense of Nen analysis purely based on visual examination of other people's aura. He can't win against her, but their altercation would easily alert the authority and put her reputation at risk. Bisky will need to outsmart him and get out of this mess with wits and knowledge instead of a fistfight.

“Your "friend", you said? Young man, allow me to give you a second piece of free advice. Stop lying to yourself. Your heart wants what it wants. Bold of you to tell me not to hide my real appearance when you're hiding from your own emotions. Why don't you take a leap of faith and go after what you really want in life?”

Bisky looks around the gallery, considering her options.

“Sapphire is a great choice of stone. However, if the market price is not what you're after and the main objective is to focus your intention or meaning into this gift, may I suggest this equally stunning diamond and lapis lazuli necklace?”

Bisky shows the young man an intricate piece of art with deep-blue lapis and shining diamonds woven into a gorgeous silver pendant.

“These stones speak to your feelings for your "friend", and once worn will remain close to his heart, at all times.”

***  
The woman's words cut through him like a hot knife, but she is right. Not for the same reasons as her, but Hisoka is hiding too. He masks all his insecurities with sarcasm and style, and he hides his true feelings towards Illumi behind a barrier made of jokes and witty comments as he hangs on to the one-sided friendship the assassin offers him in the form of a partnership. Still, her words resonate with the magician as someone who can't live her life due to prejudice. Society is cruel with uniqueness; that he knows by heart. 

“Ok, yes. Maybe that cutesy form grants you the surprise effect on enemies, but why wear it all the time? Who the hell cares? Girls are not supposed to be anything. Do I look like a man is supposed to? Hell no! But I can and will bring down anyone who dares say otherwise, and so could you. I mean, you are stronger than anyone I know, accomplished, and an expert. You're already gorgeous no matter how you look, and I bet your true form is breathtaking.”

Yes, Hisoka knows how to use his words, and he is an expert liar. But this time, he was honest and angry at society for making someone feel bad about their natural self. He wants to help her get rid of that toxicity, but unfortunately, there is no time to waste. He hopes his words can get to her anyway. And maybe they could meet again. 

“Listen, you're super strong, and I'd like to spar with you sometime what'd you say? I'll let you take the ring and graciously accept your advice about the necklace too.”

His eyes drifted away from hers as he thought about being honest to Illumi, and a faint tone of red made its way to his cheeks.

“I would be honest about my feelings for him, but that would only drive him further away from me. He's weird and unique, and I'd give anything to make him smile. But for now, all I can do is steal some jewelry for his birthday.”

Hisoka produces a low and kinda pathetic laugh. He feels so far away from Illumi, nothing but a helping hand and an annoying contact that the assassin finds useful. He wants to become stronger and famous; maybe if he gets to the top he'd be closer to the Zoldyck prince.  
***  
Bisky smiles bitterly as the young thief rants on about gender expectation. Easier said than done, she has seen her fair share of what happens to those who go against societal norms.

“A handsome young thing like yourself can get away with murder. This is not the same, sweetheart.”

Bisky breathes in slowly, and as she exhales, her body transforms. Explosive muscles unfurl on her rapidly expanding frame, she now towers over the young man. Her arms and legs are the size of tree trunks, her face stern and sharply carved. The same observant eyes stare down at her new acquaintance.

“See? Not so lovable and alluring anymore right? I bet you wouldn't have entrusted your heart to me as you did just now, attempt to befriend me but run off instead had you seen my true form to begin with.”

It's Bisky's turn to chuckle a deep, sorrowful laugh. What a turn of events, tonight has not gone as expected, at all.

“Have you even tried talking to your friend about your feelings, or is it all speculation and fearing your own insecurity so far?”

***  
Her transformation leaves Hisoka in awe as he follows her with marveled eyes. He knows what ordinary people might think about her looking like that, and he finds a gush of sour empathy filling his gut. 

“I told you I'm a magician. I'd be a fool if I judge anything by looks alone. I know this world can be cruel to anyone that doesn't fit. But before, you were just a kid, and now you're gorgeous and impressive. I'd be honored to spar with you one day and to keep telling you everything about my sad life if you'll hear me.”

Hisoka is honest, and he can't hide the excitement in his eyes. She is a force of nature, and he's admiring every bit of her. 

Hisoka chuckles at her last remark. Not only he feels like no one Illumi would ever consider dating, but he also thinks the assassin might not even continue their partnership if he were honest to him. 

“It's a bit of both, to tell the truth. I'm a low-life, and he's... perfect. I don't even think he sees me as a friend, maybe a convenient partner for work, that's all. I don't wanna risk the bond we already have over my feelings. But I want to give him something for his birthday if only to let him know I'm happy he's alive and near me.”

***  
Being a professional liar herself, Bisky can tell when the Transmuter thief is actually telling the truth. A beautiful young man who thinks highly of her real look? It is rare indeed, and his honesty brings a wave of warmth to her heart. Despite her own oddities, Bisky enjoys taking in young talents to train and nurture them to their fullest potential. One of her former students has grown up to become a Nen expert as well as a martial art coach himself recently. This young burglar in front of her might very well be her next student.

Bisky has seen what poverty does to people. In this case, it's not only a hunger for food, safety, and security, but there is also a thirst for unrequited love. The kid is willing to get hired on for an extremely high-risk robbery purely to impress his crush, someone who seems to only care about wealth and status. Bisky's heart aches for him, yet she knows this kind of broken soul cannot be healed by force. He needs to figure out life by himself, all she can do is to nudge him in the right direction. At the very least, offer him a less illegal way to earn his fortune and fame.

“I see. You've mentioned wanting to fight me twice now. If you enjoy physical combat, need to earn money quickly, AND make a name for yourself to impress this oh-so-important friend of yours, I have just the right place for you to check out. Go to Heaven's Arena, and you'll find a much more reputable and completely legal way to become a rich celebrity in no time.”

Bisky looks at the thief, eyes softened ever so slightly, her now tender and protective aura filling up the gallery around them.

“My name is Biscuit Krueger, but you can call me Bisky. I'll give you my contact information, feel free to reach out whenever you need help. Try to stay out of trouble. Now now, I'll help you secure the rest of this room before the alarm goes off and I'll take my sapphire ring as my split.”

***  
Her warmth towards him is something Hisoka hasn't experienced in life, but he can tell she's being honest. Even her name sounds sweet and inviting. He gladly offers his contact information for her to have as well, and there's a soft spot in his chest that gets overwhelmed by the entire conversation.

“I thought Heaven's Arena was for big shots only, but if you say I have a chance I'll look into that. It sounds like something I can enjoy.”

He grins at the thought of himself making it to the top of the tower. Maybe people will cheer for him, just like back at the circus. Yeah, that's a life he can look forward to. Perhaps even the all-mighty Zoldyck would go to see him fight under the spotlight.

“My name is Hisoka Morow and I can't thank you enough. You too, contact me if you need me. I can't promise you that I'll stay out of trouble, but I'll try.”

His smile is wide and sweet, nothing like the distant and proud man Bisky saw going into the room. They finish packing everything that's left in the room and Hisoka laughs when she finally takes the ring and starts giggling about it. He pockets the necklace for Illumi and checks the perimeter for any unresolved issue.

The night was surprisingly good, and even though he will get paid for it, he already got the best reward in the shape of an impressive woman with the kindest heart.  
***  
Illumi easily disposes of all three dozens of the security guards patrolling the museum's interior. He quickly hides the bodies in nearby janitor's closets, then proceeds to come by each assigned area to spot check for trouble and sees if any of the Ryodan needs assistance. Halfway through the roster is the jewelry and gemstone gallery where Hisoka's assignment is at. Illumi silently approaches the room when he hears whispers from two distinct voices, one of his partner, and the other of a woman he does not recognize.

"It's a bit of both, to tell the truth. I'm a low-life, and he's... perfect."..."But I want to give him something for his birthday if only to let him know I'm happy he's alive and near me."

Illumi freezes in his track. Hisoka is once again his unbearable irrational obnoxiously inexplicable self - is he really planning to keep a part of the goods for personal use? That is absolutely not allowed! It would be breaking protocol, and if the client ever finds out the assassin would get punished. It would be shameful for both the Family and himself, for years to come. A part of Illumi wants to yell at Hisoka and tell him to put whatever it is he has his sharply manicured claws on, back with the rest of the haul.

Yet, a stronger urge within him is tearing at his chest. What an odd sensation, it almost feels like pain, yet not quite painful at the same time. No one has ever told Illumi that he's perfect. Not even the person who stares back at himself with those large obsidian eyes whenever he looks at the mirror. Not one single person, including everyone in the Family, ever said to him that they would be happy to be near him. It's usually assumed that Family has to stick together. It's considered a sacred duty, not something to find joy in.

The Zoldyck's eldest feels foolish. He has always thought his oddball of a partner simply hangs around for the occasional missions - the Zoldyck jobs do pay well. Or to train and practice with Illumi sometimes.

Perhaps Hisoka does enjoy being around him. Because of Illumi himself, and not because of the compensation. Nor the "sparring partnership" they sometimes engage in, which usually ends in Hisoka making lame jokes that Illumi doesn't always get whenever one of the pins the other to the ground.

Maybe it is okay to be selfish and not follow protocol this one time - it is his eighteenth birthday after all.

Illumi picks up the pace and passes through the hallway, checking in on the rest of the gang. All seems to be on pace and ready to move out as scheduled. No hiccups, except for the strange woman talking to Hisoka, but it seems like the two of them struck a deal that favors the magician. It's best to pretend all is well.

At exactly thirty seconds before the alarm is back up and running at the museum, all of the Ryodans, Illumi, and Hisoka report back to their rendezvous point. The Troupe's young leader nods a gracious thank-you towards Illumi and Hisoka as his members collect the loot. The moment their payment is confirmed to be successfully transferred to the Zoldyck's account, those mysterious Ryodans quickly parted ways.

Illumi turns to Hisoka.

“I'm sending you your half now. Job well done, once again.”

***  
The assassin looks as impeccable as always, not even a gorgeous black hair is out of place. Hisoka wonders how his partner manages to achieve such a great deal of perfection in everything he does. Maybe it's due to hard training or how unforgiving he is with himself. All Hisoka knows is that the feelings he's been trying to hide in his heart are growing at a painful rate, and all he wants is to be reciprocated by his Illumi.

“Thank you, I'll invest that money well. You were right, it wasn't that hard after all.”

Hisoka knows better than to hold on to impossible dreams, and even though he hopes one day the assassin would look at him with the same intensity that he does, he's not willing to risk it all for a fleeting chance. Not yet at least.

Still, the necklace in his pocket burns him like a hot ember. He thumbs it with his hand and doubts about the next step. What if Illumi yells at him for taking part of the loot? What if he never wants to be associated with him anymore? Bisky's words resonate in his mind. She was right, his own insecurities are stopping him from taking the next step. Well, that can be fixed.

“Illumi-” he doubts, “before you go, I…”

"Come on you coward, just do it."

Hisoka takes the gorgeous lápiz and diamonds necklace out of his pocket and raises it until it hangs from his slender fingers glowing with the faint glimpse of moonlight showering them.

“Happy birthday Illumi, my dear.”

His red-tainted cheeks are visible even under such poor lighting conditions, and his heart rate is so high that he can heart it inside his head. But he smiles and remains still, locking eyes with the unattainable man he adores.  
***  
Surprisingly, Hisoka has exceptional taste in stolen goods.

The necklace hanging off of the magician's delicate, slender fingers is crafted with magnificent lapis and diamonds, and set on a classic sterling silver chain that somehow manages to blur femininity, masculinity, power, and grace. The gemstones glisten in the sensual moonlight, mesmerizing as if to disarm Illumi's prior internal conflict completely.

“It's... beautiful.”

Illumi glances up from the jewelry to the one bearing his gift. Hisoka is forever attractive - no matter if he's training, thinking, talking, laughing, or even when he's simply sitting there smiling and looking at Illumi. But there's something more than beautiful when Hisoka looks vulnerable. His tenderness is a gorgeous sight Illumi doesn't get to see often.

“I will wear it, but I have two conditions.” 

Illumi takes two rigid steps towards Hisoka. He can easily see his partner's flushed cheeks and fluttering long lashes at this distance. He is even able to feel how his words make Hisoka skip a breath.

“One: Promise me we will go on missions on my birthday every year so I can stay away from Kukuroo. Two: You have to help me put that on. My hair is rather long, and I don't have a mirror here.”

***  
A faint breeze takes away Hisoka's words as he tries to find a way to speak. Everything from his fast, loud heart to his constraint throat makes the task of answering almost impossible. Illumi, that extraordinary assassin with the face of an angel, likes the gift he's offering him. If he could, Hisoka would run after Bisky to hug her senseless. She gave him actual advice, and now the assassin is willing to wear that necklace. He should thank her properly later. 

“I'm so glad you like it, Illu, and yes, I promise you that even if there's no mission out there, I'll make one up just to keep my word.”

The magician stops and breathes. He also wants to say "and, to make you happy," but that would be too much to ask for the miraculous situation already unfolding. The thought of Illumi wearing his stolen necklace under his shirt, so it would not be seen, close to his heart, makes Hisoka exhale a happy sigh. Maybe this was enough for him, no need for reciprocity, just this appreciation, and acceptance. Until the next step seemed safer. Or until by a revelation of nature, Illumi would take it first.

“Of course, I'll help you put it on. Come here, turn around and hold your hair up.”

***  
The night sky bleeds its lustrous purple into a paling moon. Illumi inches closer until his nose almost touches Hisoka's chin then quickly turns on his heels. The assassin slowly sweeps his long silky black hair over his shoulders, revealing a bare neck made of ivory skin and untouched desire. The cold air kisses his neck and the top of his shoulders, leaving behind valleys of goosebumps waiting for willing body heat to submit to his touch.

“There, try not to tangle up my hair.”

Illumi casts a quick glance back over his shoulder at Hisoka, looking up from under his seemingly demure long lashes. His back is grazing the magician's broad chest when they stand together like this. If Hisoka is an expert in openly taunting with his brute strength and obvious intent, Illumi is then trained in manipulation, especially in the realm of body language recently. He wants to see Hisoka getting caught off guard and bare all of his vulnerability, body, and soul to him.  
***  
That pale canvas that is Ilumi's skin has never been closer to Hisoka's outside of fighting. He can feel the assassin's back brushing against his chest, and he's sure that every one of his unsteady breaths are landing against Illumi's ear. Still, he can't help but wonder if this is the Zoldyck actually reciprocating his feelings and ulterior motives, or if it's just a game to make him uncomfortable as retaliation. 

Unable to have a single clear thought at the magnificence unfolding in front of him, Hisoka raises his hands, bearing the necklace in his right one and using his left one to shakily clear a few loose strands of night from that inviting neck. He deposits the exquisite pendant over Illumi's chest and runs his hands to the nape, caressing that impossibly soft skin ever so slightly. He's dying for a taste, a kiss, a bite. His body is burning like a torch, and he's sure his face has gone full red by now. 

“I'd never do anything to damage your hair, dear.”

His voice is nothing but a whisper delivered right next to that attentive ear. The magician is soft, willing, almost obedient, nothing like his usual persona. Illumi manages to destroy his barriers and turn him into a subdued version of himself. No one else has that power, and Hisoka finds enjoyment growing in his heart.

“I knew it would look great on you, but I never imagined how much. You are gorgeous. I guess everything looks perfect on you.”

Illumi is painfully close, but Hisoka is not wasting the opportunity to speak his mind, even if it is only to a minimum. He has a way with words. If a hug or any other physical display of affection is out of the question, then he will caress every inch of that skin with nothing but words.  
***  
How does Hisoka manage to be annoying even when he follows every single word of Illumi's order? The Zoldyck wants his partner to go rogue and show Illumi how he truly feels with actions, not with mere words anymore. Why does he choose to act like a gentleman now when the opportunity is presented right in front of him?

Maybe Hisoka is actually not interested in him? Not in any special way? Perhaps what the magician really meant was that Illumi is a perfect partner, a valuable acquaintance, someone he enjoys working with? And all of this silly feeling bubbling up inside Illumi all night has been a stupid mistake?

Only one way to be sure.

Illumi leans his head back and rests on Hisoka's shoulders. His large eyes dark and hypnotizing like a mysterious chasm look up directly at Hisoka's from below.

“What do you want in return for your next birthday? And when is it?”

He presses his back onto Hisoka's chest, letting all of his body rest on his partner's powerful frame, making Hisoka support both of their weights.  
***  
Torture was something the magician was familiar with. People loved to induce pain in their search for the truth, and apparently, Illumi was an expert in all forms of physical torment. Not only his feelings, but his body is starting to react as well, getting feverish on every inch the assassin is resting on. That was it, it gotta be honest, right? Illumi wouldn't act in such a way if he was merely playing around. 

Hisoka lets his head drop slightly, just enough to let his cheek rest on the assassin's temple. That cold skin against his flushed face feels like an oasis; he can't possibly stop there. There's a part of him that's begging him for more, even though his partnership might be at stake. But then again, who is he to deny fate when it grants him such a generous gift? 

“My birthday is on June the sixth.”

He purrs next to Illu's ear with a low voice dripped in honey and lust. His hands move forward to enclose him in a tight and warm embrace, holding him by that tiny impossible waist; They are so close that Hisoka feels Illumi's heart-pounding, his hidden heavy breaths, and the mischief in his eyes. 

“And all I want in return is you.”

Hisoka lifts a hand to hold Illumi's chin directing it up. He twists and changes his posture until those delicate lips are on his reach, so he meets them with a feathery touch, barely resting on them for a split second. But soon enough, desire takes the best of him, and he presses the kiss on, increasing the contact, transmitting his heat into the other man as he risks everything he ever cared for in a rapture of passion.  
***  
As Hisoka spins him around, Illumi turns to face his magician. He has wished for this exact showing of attention, but now that it's inevitable what's about to happen, Illumi does not know what to do. Facing Hisoka and his burning passion is nothing short of facing the sun - even when you know you would be blinded if you stare for too long, you can't help but steal a glance. Then you get captured completely by its warmth and keep getting sucked into its bright light until you're completely melted into oblivion.

Hisoka's arms feel safe, his embrace is intoxicating and suffocating all at the same time. This sudden closeness, the intimate skin on skin sensation, Hisoka's voice, and scent altogether make Illumi feel dizzy. The sensory overload is overwhelming, Illumi wants the magician to show him what he truly means but he does not know what he himself wants to do next.

Illumi only gets to hesitate for a split second as his body reacts before his mind can decide on its own. He finds his lips answering Hisoka's hunger, their teeth and tongues devouring each other's clumsily in earnest. Somehow his hands have managed to grasp onto Hisoka's top, his fingers gripping onto those defined shoulders. The night chill is completely gone now as their body heat swirls together making Illumi's chest burn up. What an uncomfortable feeling.

The moment he feels his eyelids close involuntarily and his mind about to go blank with absolutely no restraint left, Illumi manages to pull away. He wipes his lips with the back of his palm and looks down at the sloppy wet mess their first kiss leaves behind.

“I remember your birthday now. I will practice and get better at this next time. Until then, I'll keep in touch about the next missions.”

Illumi regains his composure and takes his leave. He needs to walk away before the sun allows him to get too close, and burn them both.

“Until next time, Hisoka.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your valuable and encouraging feedback. We hope you all enjoy this chapter, as well as the many more that are in store for the future. Please, keep lifting our spirits and brightening our day with your comments.  
> Stay happy and healthy!


	4. Spill the Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bisky and Hisoka become besties. Peep their text convos!

**Hisoka** 2:04 AM October 4: Hi Bisky~ it's Hisoka! The handsome devil you met at the Met a few days ago (get it?) 💖 Just wanted to give you an update that I took your advice, and we TOTALLY KISSED THAT NIGHT 🤯

**Bisky** 2:12 AM October 4: Hi there sweetheart. Good for you! See? He wasn't that all-mighty-impossible-to-catch Mr perfect after all. 😌 if he said no to your face and that necklace, I'd seriously doubt his intelligence though.

**Hisoka** 2:14 AM October 4: He did like the necklace! You srly know your stuff when it comes to shiny things 😛 And OMG his lips were so, so soft, and he was so, so gorgeous, and everything about him was ~perfect~ Have you ever just felt like your body is melting away? It felt like THAT 💖

**Bisky** 2:17 AM October 4: Awww young love is so beautiful, even among thieves. And of course, I told you I'm an expert. Wait, did you kiss him or did he kiss you? And yes, there's a difference before you ask 🤔

**Hisoka** 2:19 AM October 4: What's the difference? Oh and excuse me, but he is an "assassin" not a thief. And I am a magician for hire, even though I don't really do house parties these days 😅

**Bisky** 2:22 AM October 4: The difference is that I wanna know if you grew some... Courage. But wait, an assassin? Are you getting involved with dangerous people? 🤨 What's the name of this mysterious assassin of yours?

**Hisoka** 2:24 AM October 4: Oh my COURAGE grew for sure~ And I kissed him first, then he kissed me back and it was mind-blowing. You wanna know who he is? Promise me you won't tell anyone. He's a Zoldyck! And he's dangerously perfect. Wait it's late, shouldn't you be asleep by now?

**Bisky** 2:25 AM October 4: A ZOLDYCK?!! Are you insane?😱 Of course I won't tell a soul, but please be careful. And yes, I should sleep but I can't stop staring at this wonderful sapphire it's soooo pretty 😍 anyway, please check the Heaven's Arena as I suggested, I know you'll like it there.

**Hisoka** 2:26 AM October 4: I know I know, like I said he's... Different. Unique. Yes I'll be careful 🙄Gnite Bisky, I owe you one ~

* * *

**Hisoka** 11:27 AM November 15: Guess what.

**Bisky** 11:31 AM November 15: Oh boy, you little trickster, what have you done now? 😀

**Hisoka** 11:35 AM November 15: I'm already on the 100th level at Heaven's Arena. The fights have been glorious~ I'll steal a gem for you, just name a piece. :diamonds:

**Bisky** 11:37 AM November 15: Yess! I knew you'd thrive there! No no, I don't want you stealing anything for me, just buy me lunch some time so I can show this proud smile in person 😊

* * *

**Hisoka** 5:14 AM Jan 27: Hey Bisky, how have you been? Sorry, I haven't been in touch lately, I've been on a mission with my dearest the last few weeks. I just got back and now I'm sad though.

**Bisky** 5:22 AM Jan 27: Hi sugar, what's wrong? Why are you sad all of a sudden?

**Hisoka** 5:47 AM Jan 27: I went on a mission with him for 10 weeks and we only kissed each other goodbye. Not even a tongue kiss, just on the lips 🥺

**Bisky** 5:50 AM Jan 27: Ohhh sweetie. But didn't you two have some intense making up sessions? Did you try to heat things up? You're so handsome, maybe he's intimidated.

**Hisoka** 5:54 AM Jan 27: No, he just said bye and left right after the quick kiss 😫. I was too awk to do anything! At least he said I'm doing well for myself at Heaven's Arena so that's good news, hopefully, he will start thinking more highly of me and we'll get to make out more next time... Have you collected any new shiny goodies lately? Send me pics if you do~

**Bisky** 5:58 AM Jan 27: What did I tell you? You need to assert some dominance there, maybe he was waiting for you to take action. Next time just do it. And text him something too. Make him want to kiss you. And, sugar, you're golden, there's no need to prove your worth to him. Thrive for yourself. You deserve it. Aaand, yess! I have a ruby that you'll absolutely adore! I'll send a pic! 🤩

**Hisoka** 2:07 PM Jan 28: Just got the photo, I can see why you lust for that ruby. BTW, I texted him something suggestive and he called me a gross clown. I don't think he likes my 🍆 emoji much ⭐- -💧

**Bisky** 2:12 PM Jan 28: Hun, be more subtle. Maybe don't text him for a few days and see if he contacts you. Maybe he didn't like the emoji but will eventually want the real... Anyway! I have to travel in a few days, wanna join me for tea? 😊

**Hisoka** 2:14 PM Jan 28: Duh, I would love to! Should I dress up in tea party attire? About my dearest - I'll try that tactic and report back. He does it to me all the time, so it's just fair that I play hard to get too 😜

* * *

**Bisky** 10:15 AM Feb 23: Hi there sweetheart, I'm back and you wouldn't believe the emerald I have! I can't stop drooling over it! 😍How are you? Tell me everything, don't forget details!

**Hisoka** 1:14 PM Feb 23: Aww I like emeralds, they kinda remind me of you-know-who :heart: Sooo I ghosted him for a whole 2 weeks. Nothing. I couldn't deal with it anymore and had to text him on Valentine's. Can you believe in all of the Zoldyck's rigorous training they never once taught him what V day is about? My poor little heart broke into a million pieces.

**Bisky** 1:26 PM Feb 23: That's so sad honestly. Did he seem responsive at least? Maybe if he's such a workaholic you should praise him for his skills and strength, I bet he'd like that. Either that or you just gotta wait till he comes to his senses.

**Hisoka** 5:44 PM Feb 23: He's clueless as always. I praise him all the time but never get any kind of response. "Showing emotions is a sign of weakness" according to papa Zoldyck, apparently. Anyway, wanna come see me fight this week? It's a good one. I'll get you a VIP ticket.

**Bisky** 6:34 PM Feb 23: He'll come around eventually, you're too handsome for him to play hard-to-get for longer. You'll see. And yes, please! I can't wait to see you fight! Actually, I have a little something for you from my last trip. How does "Golden hearts earrings" sound to you?

**Hisoka** 6:37 PM Feb 23: Is that even a question? And have I ever told you you're the best woman that has ever come into my life? Beautiful+strong+smart+great taste in stolen jewelry = perfection. Alright, see you this weekend, remember to wear a shirt with my face on it :wink:

**Bisky** 6:41 PM Feb 23: You're so full of it! 😌But I love you too sweetie, and I can't wait to see your beautiful self kicking butt at the Arena. I'll make a whole collection of t-shirts with your gorgeous face on them. See you then!😁

* * *

**Hisoka** 3:13 AM May 7: Sorry for the late text but I just got back from another mission with Lumi. We had a proper makeout session this time! He makes me feel ~things~ but I'm too scared to do anything besides kissing. I mean, that is already glorious enough as is. That's all, I just needed to brag 😌

**Hisoka** 12:14 PM May 8: I sent him a shirtless selfie rolling out of bed when I woke up - he said he'd block me next time if I ever do that again 😥 HELP! What do I do?!?

**Bisky** 12:44 PM May 8: Sorry sorry! I was busy. I'm so so happy for you! Don't be afraid but take your time and don't do anything you're uncomfortable with. And how dare he say that after you sent him a pic! Don't worry, that reaction just means he liked it 😉 but just in case, wait a while before sending him another one.

* * *

**Hisoka** 11:23 AM June 7: Good morning! Just an update. Yesterday was my 23rd birthday. My Zoldyck and I had a successful mission earlier in the day and then we made out for a full hour this time. It's the best bday gift ever 😍

**Bisky** 11:25 AM June 7: Why didn't you tell me before?! HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🥳 I'll get you a gift and treat you to dinner, just say when. Although it wouldn't be as good as a gift as the one you already got 😉 Congrats sweetheart, I told you he couldn't resist you.

**Hisoka** 1:17 PM June 7: Aww no need to. I have never celebrated birthdays anyway. Oh~ What if I try to lure him to dinner or lunch with us... So you can meet him and help me find out if he likes me at all?

**Bisky** 3:06 PM June 7: I will not forget your birthday, you better be ready to celebrate next year. And omg yes! I've been dying to meet him. Do you think he'll agree? He likes you tho, there's no doubt about it, he just needs to admit it and you to accept it.

**Hisoka** 3:13 PM June 7: There's absolutely no way he will agree to go see a friend of mine for dinner. "Assassins don't have friends blah blah blah" and no fun activities either, apparently. We'll have to turn it into a business meeting somehow. Any idea?

**Bisky** 4:22 PM June 7: Hmm maybe I can be a client if you're willing to steal something for me. Actually, it'd be "recovering" a historical piece, so it's not entirely wrong. What do you think?

**Hisoka** 4:39 PM June 7: Genius! Why are you always the best? Let me set it up for next week! Just pick a spot and I'll make it happen. Send me all the details on this "historical piece" that is sure to be oh~so~shiny 🤔

**Bisky** 4:42 PM June 7: Of course, what did you expect? I'm not an expert for not being awesome hehe. I'll send everything to you, just convince your reluctant love bird to come to the meeting 😋

* * *

**Hisoka** 10:11 PM June 13: Well, that was a disaster. I don't think he's gonna speak to me again this year 😔

**Bisky** 11:15 PM June 13: It didn't come out right. Your boy has a lot of unresolved issues I see. My best advice now is for you to focus on your career at Heaven's Arena and give him space. He clearly likes you, just give him time.

**Hisoka** 11:16 PM June 13: You really think he likes me? 😟 He almost murdered me in front of you - he even got mad at you for "co-conspiring" with me to lie to him. I mean, who would have thought he overheard us at the Met Museum and could recognize your voice so easily! He is a talented assassin after all... I just hope he will eventually forgive me for this. At least he came around and was somewhat nice to you at the end of dinner though 💕

**Bisky** 11:19 PM June 13: Trust me, honey. If he was all about business as he claims, he wouldn't have been so offended by a simple lie. Especially considering his line of work. He likes you, and how couldn't he? You're wonderful.

**Hisoka** 11:25 PM June 13: I'll steal that damn stone for you. That's the least I can do for making you go through all this trouble. And for putting up with me.

 **Hisoka** 11:26 PM June 13: Should I text him a picture of me trying on new undies?

**Bisky** 11:27 PM June 13: I don't think that's the best idea right now. But, if you really want to... Recover that stone for me, maybe invite him to the mission. Tell him you absolutely need him there. And putting up with you is a treat. Drop. That. Insecurity. 💗

* * *

**Hisoka** 2:15 PM August 2: Did you get the package in the mail? Sent you the shiny goodies as promised 😉 Both Lumi and I have been busy so we haven't met since that disastrous dinner, but he finally texted me back asking if I'm still alive (after almost 2 whole months). We have a job together next week! 🥰

**Bisky** 3:07 PM August 2: I have the package right here, everything looks perfect! You're the best did you know that? :grin: I told you he'd come around eventually. I want to know everything about this mission later on. Have fun, you deserve it.

**Hisoka** 3:11 PM August 2: I will serve you all the tea once we get back. Meanwhile, enjoy your new precious shiny gift!! :relieved:

**Hisoka** 1:51 AM August 12: Hey Bisky, I'm back. And I'm worried. Lumi has never been injured in missions before yet I saw bruises on him this time. When I asked he just evaded the topic…

**Bisky** 2:17 AM August 12: Maybe he was training a little too hard? He's strong, whatever has happened to him, he'll tell you eventually. We all hide the things we don't like to see in ourselves, dear. Don't pressure him, but just, make sure he knows you're there for him.

**Hisoka** 2:19 AM August 12: We spar sometimes and Lumi can take A LOT. It was odd to see him with injuries, unlike me. My real body is plastered with scars under my texture surprise. Ohhh~ just realized you and I have similar issues with our body image! No wonder why we're besties 🤣

**Bisky** 2:22 AM August 12: So you hide your true self from the world as well and still have the nerve to tell me to show mine! Haha, I guess we're similar in more than one way. What do you know about the Zoldycks, hun? Maybe your dear encounter some family issues. Must be hard living with assassins.

**Hisoka** 2:43 AM August 12: We both have our issues, I see. And do you think his parents still hit him? At this age? I'm beyond enraged to even imagine that obnoxious brute or his wife would dare lay a finger on my Lumi.

**Hisoka** 2:45 AM August 12: I can't sleep. I want to go see him and hold him. Should I?

**Bisky** 3:04 AM August 12: We can't be sure about what happens behind closed doors. It'd be awful if his parents were hitting him, but there's nothing you can do to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Just look after him the best you can. And please, don't go to his house to snuggle uninvited. I need you to stay alive and be my friend.

**Hisoka** 3:07 AM August 12: You're always so wise. Thank you for not letting my dumbass die at the hand of the Zoldyck's for breaking, entering, and cuddling with their eldest son. Speaking of which, I'm afraid to even touch him sometimes because I don't know if it's going to hurt him. He's so strong yet so fragile at the same time.

**Bisky** 9:06 AM August 12: Sorry, I fell asleep. I understand he's so precious to you and that's beautiful btw, but you won't break him. Always be sure to ask for consent first though, but if he's ok with it, don't be afraid to touch him.

**Hisoka** 11:11 AM August 12: Of course I'll always ask for permission, duh. Can I come over this week? I'm curious about the Hunter license and you're a pro at that kinda thing. I also got some new face masks and nail polish I want to try with you. I'll grab some pastries on the way too since you have the tea portion covered.

**Bisky** 11:23 AM August 12: Of course you can come over, I have a new raspberry and jasmine tea that you'll adore! Are you really interested in becoming a hunter? Oh, I'd love to help you out with that! Yesss! And you can do my makeup pretty please?

* * *

**Hisoka** 8:03 PM August 15: Hope you enjoy the new blush and eyeshadow palette. I took some of your raspberry jasmine tea with me btw, I really liked those with some strawberry shortcake. Gotta work off the sugar rush in the gym though, I'll need to get in shape before I give the Hunter exam a try!

**Bisky** 8:05 PM August 15: I always feel so pretty when you do my makeup, you're so talented! I'm glad you liked the tea and that cake was glorious for my sweet tooth. I will help you train for the Hunter's exam, just wait a little before taking it.

* * *

**Hisoka** 10:13 PM January 3: First of all, long time no chat and happy new year. Second, I might have been getting into shenanigans and didn't listen to you. I did give the Hunter Exam a try…

**Bisky** 10:13 PM January 3: Happy new year my darling! You did what?! I told you to wait. How did it go? You better tell me all about it!

**Hisoka** 10:31 PM Jan 3: Well, so, somehow there were 20 people who got on my nerves. 21, including an examiner, but that one survived. Unfortunately, perhaps by letting him live, I have unintentionally flung myself out of the Hunter Exam. Not for lack of talents, but for being too merciful and not finishing off the annoying examiner so he got to live and disqualify me. Coward.

**Bisky** 10:32 PM Jan 3: OMG! What were you thinking? Even if the examiner were dead there's always someone monitoring the exam, so that'd probably be worse. I told you to wait for a reason, sweetie. You're lucky you weren't banned from taking the exam again. Which I'm sure you will pass if you manage to calm down those killer instincts of yours.

**Hisoka** 10:35 PM Jan 3: Lame 😫I told Lumi and he made fun of me for failing the exam. Apparently, he has never failed any test in his whole life.

**Bisky** 11:22 PM Jan 3: Here's an idea, why don't you two take the exam together later on? You're already great partners and he'd have to accept in order to prove himself right.

**Hisoka** 11:24 PM Jan 3: Who ARE you Bisky? Do you ever stop coming out with genius ideas? I'll convince him that getting a Hunter license is beneficial for his assassin career and that we can help each other throughout the tests together~ OMG it's gonna be such a fun bonding time!!

**Bisky** 11:33 PM Jan 3: It's just the many MANY years of experience, hun. You'll get there. But yesss, he'll agree if you explain how beneficial a Hunter's License is. All the luck in the world. And please try not to kill or attack examiners next time!

**Hisoka** 11:34 PM Jan 3: Amazing idea, like always. And hmm, I can't promise the latter and I'll try my best. The next exam is actually coming up fairly soon, I'll report back the progress with my partner in crime. With you being my mentor, there's absolutely no way I don't get the license this year! ♠️

**Bisky** 12:07 AM Jan 4: Hold your horses, mister! I said it'd be a good idea sometime in the future. There are a few things about Nen that I'd like to teach you first. And, as your mentor, I can't let you go there unprepared again. Consider yourself kinda grounded from taking that exam again until I tell you.

**Hisoka** 12:31 AM Jan 4: You're such a meanie sometimes :star: - - :droplet: But ok~ since you're pretty and cute and can teach me a few things. I'll come by in the morning for training, does that work for you?

**Bisky** 12:32 AM Jan 4: It's called tough love, and you're the pretty one here. Of course, you can come over, we'll train and then I'll treat you to lunch.

**Hisoka** 12:35 AM Jan 4: Shouldn't it be the other way around? Since you're teaching me new tricks, I'll make us lunch instead. See you in a few!

* * *

**Bisky** 4:34 PM Jan 29: Hi sweetheart, how's everything going? You haven't told me a thing about your latest fights, are you ok? You know I worry about you, right? Please text me when you have the time.

**Hisoka** 4:47 PM Jan 29: I'm doing well. Miss you! Tried the new trick you taught me in my last fight. Let's just say my rating at Heaven's Arena is at all-time high and tickets to my next fight are already sold out 10 weeks in advance. I'm not gonna show up though 🤣 it's a boring fight and I just signed up because I'm running into my time limit.

**Bisky** 5:02 PM Jan 29: I miss you too, glad you're doing more than ok. As long as it doesn't hurt your career there you can skip a few fights. You're the best fighter there, and that IS my expert opinion.

**Hisoka** 5:03 PM Jan 29: Oh yeah I can skip 3 fights in total and will do just fine. BTW I told Lumi about the Hunter Exam and mentioned that you're training me. He scoffed a little but finally did ask if it's ok for him to come watch our next training?

**Bisky** 5:05 PM Jan 29: Really? That's interesting. I wonder if he'd be interested in being trained by me as well. You two would have to see each other a lot more if that happens. Ok, tell your dear it's ok for him to come and watch our training. I'll make sure he enjoys the show.

**Hisoka** 5:07 PM Jan 29: If this works I'm gonna petition to make this a weekly training Bisky. Of course, I'll pay my tuition in pastries, tea, and borrowed gemstones 😜

**Bisky** 5:09 PM Jan 29: I can't say no to that! I'll give you the best of the best both in training and tea, you deserve nothing less you hear me? I'm so proud of you for everything you've accomplished!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, welcome to a different kind of chapter. This time we wanted to take a look into what we think would be a beautiful friendship. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as we loved writing it.   
> Please leave us a comment, all feedback is highly appreciated. Thank you all so much for reading and for your amazing words. We truly appreciate them.   
> Extra Kudos for Kani who singlehandedly fixed and managed the emoji debacle that this was after the first copy/paste. You're the best sib.  
> If you wanna read these RPs in the making, join Hisoka's cult! The discord server where it all begun! (16+ only) https://discord.gg/xxjSvwrAJn
> 
> Thank you so much, stay tuned for more!  
> Stay happy and healthy!


	5. The Naked Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illumi and Hisoka completed another mission together, but it didn’t go exactly as planned. They both needed to come clean about each of their own insecurity to one another.

Metropolitan area close to Heaven’s Arena,  
Hisoka: 24 years old  
Illumi: 20 years old

Mother's voice still rings in his mind: "If perfectly executed assassinations is a grand performance with no audience, then the ability to attain critical information without raising suspicion is high art with no satisfaction for the artist.

Illumi blinks slowly. He focuses on counting his breath and staying as still as possible. He's facing the window now, and downtown night lights help distract him from all the panting and movements around him.

“Sweetie, let me see your handsome face…”

The woman grabs his chin, turning his face up towards her as she bounces breathlessly on top of his thighs. Her legs straddle him, her knees sinking into the hotel's king-sized bed as she moans and gropes frantically at Illumi's waist. She has been riding him for a while, hopefully she's close by now. Not that it's going to end soon even if she finishes with him. Illumi counts backward again from a hundred as her two business partners laugh and stroke themselves on the bedside waiting for their turn.

The job was meant to be fairly straight forward. Illumi was supposed to work as the woman's temporary executive assistant for a few weeks, then join her at this conference and find a way to approach one of her contractors to identify his supply contact. Somehow along the way, they all decide to cozy up and go to dinner together. The target and his pal eyed Illumi all night as the young assistant probed innocent enough questions to find out where his source came from. "Want us to show you the rope in this business? Gotta pay your dues first." was the response. Illumi wonders if this was how the woman got herself into the board of directors as well.

Two hours later, Illumi emerges from the hotel, freshly showered. Cleansed from the filth and blood those three left on him, and now armed with their precious information to help him complete his mission. He absentmindedly texts Hisoka: "Want to join me and help complete this job? I just finished gathering intel."  
***  
The crowd cheering for him was something he could never get enough of, and since he had joined the endless tier of fighters at Heaven's Arena, Hisoka could enjoy that adrenaline rush every day if he so wanted to. Following advice wasn't his strong suit, but for some reason he knew Bisky was only considering his best interest. And of course, she was right. That place was made for someone like him, and climbing up the many floors had been not only easy but also entertaining.

Still, there was something that remained and now, after another victory while the scorching water of his suite's shower envelopes his naked body, all that is hidden comes to light. Hisoka strokes his legs and finds scar tissue among the suds, thin lines over the back of his thighs, something rough over his knees and many more along his long calves. Each one a reminder of a battle, a punishment, or simple cruelty.

Even his torso is drawn by those permanent memories of pain. Luckily, bruises tend to fade but cuts were permanent. He reaches for his left shoulder where a single round tiny scar remains and he smiles.

After leaving the shower, Hisoka stares at his face in the mirror, almost lost among the steam. There's a nasty purple bruise on his cheek and another one by the side of his chiseled chin. The cut on his eyebrow is not bleeding anymore at least. The magician sighs a bitter breath and decides against covering everything up. For one night he wants to be himself while he's alone.

A chime on his phone announced a new message, it is Illumi. Finding a text from the assassin makes the night brighter somehow. There isn't a chance that Hisoka will decline that offer of meeting him, even if that involves letting go of his night alone and al natural.

“Show must go on.”

He says as he fetches his makeup tools. He starts to cover every one of his scars with texture surprise and sends a confirmation text to the assassin.

"Of course, my dear, count me in."

***  
Once Illumi gets his hands on all the needed details, the mission always gets accomplished. Technically he doesn't actually need Hisoka for this job, but with the sheer number of security forces on site it would take him much longer than he would like to spend on this already lengthy enough project. Plus, he knows Hisoka enjoys the carnage, and lives only an hour away from their destination. Ever since the magician started fighting for money at Heaven's Arena, Illumi had to start making up excuses to get Hisoka to come with him. Not that his partner has ever declined any invitation anyway, he simply knows money is no longer a real reason for Hisoka to go on these killing sprees.

The night keeps dragging on. The more Illumi wants to be done with this tiring mission, the more it manages to find a way to pain him. Hisoka was careless in his rampage and sliced a guard's throat right next to Illumi, drenching the assassin in a stream of sticky crimson. Illumi is extremely annoyed as they leave the premise. He has dealt with enough gross mess for today and simply wants to be clean, to be home, to sink into a warm bed and find a bit of comfort. At least the duo did complete what they came here for and can finally leave.

“I texted my dad about the mission status, we'll get our commission soon. I was going to head straight home, but not like this, not anymore. I need to find a place to clean up and wash myself of this filth that YOU are entirely responsible for. And find a change of clothes too. Why can't today just end already?”

***  
Illumi seems to be more upset than his usually calm self. There's a lot of annoyance both in his body language as in his words. Hisoka is taken by surprise at first; his friend is not typically disturbed by blood, but maybe this time it is different since it was Hisoka's fault after all.

The magician still thinks his partner looks stunning. That porcelain-like skin is a perfect contrast for the crimson spots covering him, maybe there's nothing in this world that could possibly look bad on him. But Hisoka feels the tug of guilt in his chest for ruining what could have been a perfect evening, and he wants to offer a solution.

“I'm so sorry, darling. I got carried away by the moment. You know, my place is nearby and I have a private suite at the Arena.”

Hisoka runs his thumb across Illumi's chin to wipe away a tiny red spot. He locks eyes with him for a moment and allows himself a sweet smile.

“You can shower there, and I think my clothes would look good on you. What do you think?”

***  
Each time Hisoka touches him like that, Illumi feels an electrifying jolt running through his entire body. Probably just static.

“I won't get caught dead in public in your outrageous outfit. But if you have a washer and dryer at your place, you can help me do my laundry while I'm in the shower.”

The two quickly get back to Heaven's Arena and enter Hisoka's suite. Illumi immediately makes a bee line to the shower, stripping as he goes and leaves a pile of blood-sodden clothes outside the bathroom door. He closes and locks the door behind him as loudly as he can manage.

“Hisoka! Don't you have any bath products that will not make me smell like a toddler drowning in syrup and glitter?”

The assassin sounds annoyed, but he is indeed relieved as the cold water starts sputtering out from the showerhead, washing away all of today's misery off of his body.  
***  
Illumi stripping on his way to the bathroom is a gift Hisoka didn't even ask for. The assassin has grown into a gorgeous man with lean exquisite muscles and he can't help but to stare in awe as the bloody clothes keep piling up.

“Check under the sink, there's boring body wash there and maybe some coconut shampoo!”

The thought of Illumi naked, covered in soap as the suds slide down his tone abs is enough to make the magician blush as an awkward tent starts growing in his pants. Still, he picks up the dirty clothes and toss them in the washer. The entire scene is heavily charged with a domestic feeling that resounds as foreign, but comfortable. A desire of simpler times comes true in the ephemeral way of coincidence.

Hisoka lays out some basic black sweatpants and a white long sleeved t-shirt on the bed. He has a lot of clothes since he finds shopping therapeutic, and he's not always in the mood for the colorful style. Maybe these would be more to Illumi's liking.  
***  
The moisturizing body wash and coconut shampoo did the trick. Feeling refreshed once again, Illumi steps out of the shower and reaches for a plush white towel to wrap around his lower half. He walks out to the bedroom, glancing at the black and white set of clothes Hisoka has laid out for him. The magician is truly full of surprises - Illumi does not expect him to have anything in neutral tone in his massive closet, but here's proof otherwise.

Illumi walks over and sits down on Hisoka's bed. He deliberately ignores how his torrent of wet black hair is quickly dampening the bedsheet.

“Hisoka, come here.”

Ever since their first kiss after robbing the whole Metropolitan Museum of Art in Yorkshin clean, it has become a tradition for them to "practice" making out as a way to celebrate after each successful joint mission. It has been two years and yet they have only kissed, and nothing more. Not that Illumi doesn't enjoy their makeout sessions, they have always been heavenly. But they are both grown adults now, and the assassin is starting to wonder why Hisoka has never let his hands wander anywhere below Illumi's waist, considering how lewd the magician may sound and look at all times.

“I want my treat. And make it double.”

***  
As soon as Hisoka hears his partner calling for him, he makes his way to the bedroom. What he witnesses there is probably a picture taken from one of his most shameful and happy dreams he'd never admit having. Not only is Illumi practically naked except for a towel, on his bed, but the assassin is asking for him. Big time.

“Oh~ I'm more than happy to fulfill your request, my dear.”

Hisoka sits next to him on the bed, and runs his fingers through damp silky black hair. He looks into Illumi's eyes but can't help his gaze from traveling to those parted wanting lips. The magician can't believe his luck.

The coconut smell is sweet and inviting as Hisoka moves forward to nuzzle the Zoldyck's neck. He makes a trail of hot kisses traveling up to that chiseled jaw. He takes his time until finally claiming those lips with his own. The kiss starts slow but soon it becomes desperate. Still, Hisoka moves a shaky hand over his partner's waist, tugging him closer.

That intoxicating taste is addictive and so is the smoothness of Illumi's skin. But Hisoka doubts about the next step. Usually their make out sessions involve only kissing, but now Illumi hasn't even put on clothes and the possibilities make the magician doubt.  
***  
Illumi gasps and tilts his head back as soon as Hisoka's lips touch his neck. His burning hot lips drink all of Illumi in, hungrily devour Illumi's lips, and leave the assassin wanting more. He feels a swell throbbing in between his thighs, and immediately jerks his hips involuntarily when Hisoka pulls him closer by his waist.

Illumi spreads his legs to allow Hisoka access as he inches forward towards his magician. The towel shifts loosely as his thighs part wide open, the outline of his erection now obvious under the lush white fabric.

“Mhmmm... Hisoka... do you want me?”

Illumi's breath is getting ragged and labored, he starts whimpering against those wanting plump lips. Does Hisoka even want anything more than these kisses? Is he actually attracted to the assassin, or is it more of a bonding activity for old time's sake? Maybe Hisoka is a virgin. No way, the man drips with excessive seduction just from breathing and existing. Perhaps...

Illumi stops suddenly and freezes against Hisoka's lapping tongue.

“Does my body disgust you?”

Illumi's mind goes into a frenzy, his eyes darken and he backs away from his make-out partner. Hisoka must know that he uses his body like any other tool to get his missions done, and probably looks down on his method. He must be disgusted, and think lowly of Illumi with that knowledge.

His voice breaks, and his eyes suddenly feel like they're drowning.

“Do you despise me?”

***  
There's more of Illumi in plain sight that Hisoka had ever seen before, that taunting erection calling for attention barely hiding under the towel makes him blush hard. What should he do now? He wasn't planning this far ahead, although maybe he should have.

Suddenly, his partner stops and starts asking questions that make no sense for Hisoka. Did he do something wrong? Fuck, maybe Illumi knows how inexperienced he is and wants to embarrass him. But the look in his eyes is somber and full of dread. How can he fix this?

“Lumi, what are you talking about? I tell you how gorgeous you are all the time. Of course I want you.”

With an unsteady hand, Hisoka caresses the assassin's cheek and moves it down his torso until it lands back on his waist. He knows he's hard too, but he doesn't want Illumi to notice as he shifts uncomfortably on his spot.

“How could I ever despise you? I-”

He stops his words, maybe it is not the time for an open-hearted confession. But still, he wants to know what is going on in Illumi's mind so he can make it go away.

“I do want you, and I care deeply about you. I'm sorry if I'm not... Doing things right.”

***  
"Gorgeous". The same word those pigs moaned in his ears when they pounded into him, pressing his face into a pillow. They laughed and called him a "good boy" as he choked and gagged on them. Shivers take over Illumi's body as he curls into a ball facing away from Hisoka, shaking his head at nothing with arms wrapped around himself.

“I know I'm not pure anymore, my body is already used as a weapon... like a tool... Mother said those who can control other's desires are the ones with real power, but it does not feel like it. It did not feel like it at all to me.” 

The Zoldyck's eldest hides his face under a curtain of still damp jet black hair, his body shakes as if he's battling a vicious war with a stream of hysterical hiccups.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I'm not good enough. You don't have to touch me if you don't want to. I know I'm filthy. I get it if you don't want a used toy. You don't have to pretend.”

***  
Hisoka is speechless for a moment. He might be inexperienced but he's not stupid, and there's something seriously wrong about what Illumi is saying. He tries to make it make sense, picking up the pieces and finishing the puzzle in his mind. A weapon, he said, a used toy. Filthy. Suddenly there's a rush of anger exploding inside Hisoka; he knew a lot of people with similar trauma from his days on the streets and the circus, and that's the main reason why he avoids physical contact so much. But Illumi is falling apart right in front of him and Hisoka's heart is breaking for him.

“Illu... I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about, but I- I don't think you're any of those things. You're beautiful, and perfect.”

Hisoka moves his arms forward in an attempt to hold his assassin. He wants to heal him, nurture him back into a state where that darkness can't reach him. The magician has no tools to handle that situation properly but there's no way in hell he's walking out.

“Illumi, baby. If something bad happened to you I won't run away. I don't care whatever you've done, or been through. I want you, all of you, just as you are.”

Hisoka feels his soul sink. Maybe if he wasn't a fucking useless virgin he could handle the situation better. But he is nothing but a dumb clown acting a character that's far away from his truth.  
***

Illumi flinches at Hisoka's touch, moving even further away to the far side of the bed.

“I let them use my body, Hisoka. I let those animals use me. I wasn't defenseless, I got my revenge after all. But I allowed it to happen. I let all of them take turns and do what they wanted. I just laid there. There's no part of me left that's clean. I'm disgusting.”

With his face still buried behind tears and tangled hair, Illumi whispers, his voice hoarse and distant.

“How could you want me anymore, right? Is that why you wouldn't touch me all this time? All these years, and we continue to play this dumb "practice" routine? Why?”

Illumi buries his face into a pillow so Hisoka doesn't see how much he's crumbling and falling apart. He tucks his shoulders and elbows close to his body, making himself even smaller, trying to disappear in plain sight.  
***  
Hisoka's heart is burning with rage and breaking in pieces at the same time. His beautiful perfect porcelain assassin has been through something like this. And he couldn't help him. And now, to make matters worse, his own doubtful actions made everything worse. Way to go clown, always messing everything up.

He gets up from the bed and sits on the floor, bearing the less intimidating attitude he can produce. Maybe he can't fix what's been done to his Zoldyck. But at least he can come clean about his fear of intimacy.

“Baby, listen to me. There's absolutely nothing dirty about you. It's their fault, not yours, at all. You're still perfect and everything I ever wanted.”

A deep breath, and Hisoka bites his lips. It's so unnatural revealing his secrets that it physically hurts. But it is not his time to cry, it's time to help.

“The reason why I haven't done anything but kissing you... It's cause I don't think I know how. I'm a virgin Lumi. I am not the person I pretend to be. I understand if you are disappointed and don't want me anymore. But please, my dearest, please do not blame yourself. You're everything I want.”  
***  
Illumi shifts his posture and raises his head up barely enough to catch a glimpse of Hisoka. The magician looks defeated and withdrawn into himself. It's that same vulnerable, delicate face again - the look that made Illumi realize this sensation between them is real. Even if neither of them can verbalize that intangible bond, there's an invisible thread connecting them both that keeps pulling the two closer each time they meet. It's undeniable how they have no one else to confide their truth in, no other to lean on and to share their deepest fear. Deserted souls reaching for an illusion of an oasis in one another.

“Will you come and hold me? I'm getting cold.”

Illumi's voice is still sounding small and wet, but his tone is warmer. He scoots over to one side, still curled up into a miserable bundle of wet hair, naked shivering limbs, and a damp towel.  
***  
Hisoka wants to run to him, hold him tight and never let him go. There's a violent urge inside him, craving to dismember and torture anyone who ever dared lay a finger on his precious Illumi. But he contains his bloodlust to comfort his partner instead.

Hisoka stands and walks over to the bed. He lays behind the assassin and notices his shivers and quiet sobs. Illumi has never looked so frail before and he's afraid to break him even further. Still, the magician stretches an arm under that slender neck, and with his other hand he combs through Illumi's wet hair until it's away from his face. Only then, Hisoka covers the assassin with his other arm, surrounding him entirely, bringing him close to his warmth.

Only a few silent tears run down the magician's face. He feels vulnerable too, and overwhelmed. But there's something about Illumi that no matter where he is, always feels like home.

“You're precious to me. I'm sorry if I ever failed to make you feel that.”

Their breathing finds a synchronic rhythm, and Hisoka pulls him closer to his chest, as if he could somehow lock him safely in his heart.  
***  
Being tightly held in Hisoka's massive arms is exactly what Illumi needs right now.

Illumi pulls those muscular forearms even tighter around himself, seemingly to squeeze out any last drops of sorrow he can muster. Hisoka's warmth starts seeping into Illumi's skin, transferring his vibrant heat to the assassin's cool body.

“Just don't ever let me go.”

Cold back against hot chest, arms tangled in arms, the pair lie there in a close embrace for a while. The rhythmic movement of Illumi's rib cage starts slowing down, and the uncontrollable shaking dies off as well. Illumi finally lets out a soft sigh, and adjusts his head on Hisoka's bicep. The magician's soothing touch succeeds in calming most of Illumi's body down, at last.

“You know... if you really want to know how to touch me, I could teach you.”  
***  
There's a comfortable silence between the two. Hisoka usually breaks it by saying something funny or witty or downright lewd. But not this time. The embrace is too honest, dripping with the need of intimacy and human contact. He wants to promise Illumi that he'll never let him go, he wants to but he can't find the words. So he remains silent, hoping his partner would know that he would.

Still, Illumi is back again with another remark. And this time the red in hisoka's cheeks could start a small fire. He hides his face between the pillow and the curtain of black hair in front of him. He really doesn't want to talk about that subject, not after bearing his secret.

“Illu, I- fuck this is not right, I should know things. I should be able to please you.”  
***  
Now is not the time to be shy, yet Hisoka is being utterly unbearable. Where is his usual swagger when Illumi wants it the most?

Illumi props himself up, wipes his wet cheeks with his palm, and turns over to face Hisoka.

“I want you, you want me, I have more experience and have been trained on this. You don't. It's completely okay to ask for help. Why don't I start first?”

The assassin sits up on his knees, completely back to his confident, stoic self now. The damp towel falls off of his waist from the sudden movement, revealing the most excitable part of himself to Hisoka. His cock is already at half-mast, yearning to be touched. But he can wait - Illumi decides he will lead first, so Hisoka can follow his example.

Illumi moves to straddle his flustered magician, naked thighs squeezing the sides of Hisoka's legs. An obvious tent is visible through Hisoka's pants, despite his effort to hide his body's reaction to the sight of Illumi's nudity. The assassin gently pulls up on Hisoka's top to reveal his insane ten-pack abs trembling and tensing to his cool touch.

“Shhhh, let me learn about your body. The most important part of pleasing someone is to study the way their body reacts to each movement. Watch.”

Illumi slides one hand up Hisoka's abs, passes under the scrunched up top, reaching and thumbing for his nipple.  
***  
When the assassin straddles him, Hisoka tries to say something, to stop him somehow. He doesn't want to be in such a vulnerable position. But as soon as Illumi asks him to be quiet, he finds himself surrendering to that command.

It's not like Hisoka hasn't gotten any chance to lose his virginity before, he just never found someone interesting enough to actually do it. At the circus, and even before, he learned that sex sells. A smile, a sexy comment and a little bit of flirting and he could get away with practically anything. That's why he created that character who exudes sexual intent. But now, he's completely lost and can't stop flinching and gasping as Illumi runs his cold hands all over him.

As soon as the assassin thumbs over his sensitive niple, Hisoka produces a breathy sound that he finds embarrassing. In a poor attempt to hide from the situation, the magician covers his eyes with his forearm, leaving his parted, plump lips on display.

“Illu -ghasps- you don't have to.”

***  
If this is what Mother means when she says commanding someone's body gives you the most power in the world? Perhaps it is true after all.

Illumi watches as goosebumps on Hisoka's skin follow each trace he draws with his fingers. He refuses to blink, just so he can take in every single second of this image in front of him: Hisoka's flushed cheeks, eyes closed and hidden under one strained arm, lips quivering, nostrils flaring in a poor attempt to hide his silent scream begging for more, the other arm tightly clutching the bedsheet. Hisoka's pants are now taut against Illumi's own erection, his hips twitching despite a praise-worthy effort to remain stable.

“I don't HAVE to, but I WANT to please you. And then I need you to do the same for me.”

Illumi continues to rub slow circles around Hisoka's nipple, and slips the other hand down towards the magician's waist band, finger tips dancing on those defined abs and adonis belts.

“You're so sensitive - it's so easy to tell when you like it, but if there is something I do that you REALLY like, let me know. Vice versa, if something feels uncomfortable or painful, you have to tell me so I can adjust to what you want.”

As he finishes giving instructions, Illumi drops his head right over Hisoka's other nipple and offers a sloppy, wet, tender kiss.  
***  
Every nerve ending gets lit up the second Illumi runs his hands over Hisoka's flustered skin. Yes, he is sensitive, and his body has never known such tenderness in his life. It's almost overwhelming.

There is still something that makes the magician flinch in awkwardness. The assassin lowers his hands to his abs and Hisoka can't help but feeling self-conscious about his hidden scars. Maybe Illumi won't notice the texture surprise covering his many imperfections, but what if he does? What if he asks him to undo the trick and expose himself even more than he already has tonight?

He wants to please his assassin too, but there's shame and fear lurking in his covered eyes. Hisoka needs something to hold on to as he drifts away in that sea of sensations, so he uses his free hand to grab Illumi's strong thigh as his partner deposits a kiss to his other nipple.

“Of course I like this…”

Hisoka thinks for a split second, there's no way he can avoid Illumi from noticing his horrible scars if he keeps kissing his body like that. Texture surprise works, but it still feels slightly different from his actual skin. He doesn't want to lie and tell his demanding partner not to kiss him, especially since those precise ministrations are sending an electric shock through his body, directly to his notorious erection.  
***  
Despite his contradiction and oddities, it is undeniable that Hisoka has the body of a god. Illumi switches between lips, teeth, and tongue, licking and biting Hisoka's oversensitive nipple as his hands roam all over his sculpted torso. Until his nail gets caught on something invisible in the space in between the left side of Hisoka's chest and shoulder.

“Hisoka, are you using Texture Surprise on your skin?” 

With one hand picking at the masked texture on Hisoka's shoulder, Illumi reaches down below with his other hand, slipping his fingers under the waistband searching for his grand prize.  
***  
Busted. Fuck. He could deny it but the assassin is not stupid. In fact his high intelligence is one of the things Hisoka likes the most about him. But he doesn't want to be this exposed and he's running out of options.

“Yes, I am using texture surprise. It's attached with bungee gum so don't rip it off.”

Illumi's slender fingers are relentless in their search, and a new shock of pleasure mixed with shame travels across Hisoka's body. He wants to be touched. His hips move upwards beyond his control. But what if the assassin doesn't like what he sees?

Hisoka raises his hand to lock his fingers with Illumi's as they scratch on his masked scar in an attempt to make him stop. He knows he's far from the sheer perfection his lover is, and he works hard to be able to match that Zoldyck perfection. But Illumi is about to discover his every flaw in the most vulnerable state he could be.  
***  
The often televised relentless, cocky, arrogant grim reaper in Heaven's Arena version of Hisoka is powerful, and sexy in a maddening, confusing way. This version of raw, diffident, and nervous Hisoka is pure magic. Illumi wants his magician in all his true glory: vulnerable only for him, naked only for him, real - only for him.

But his hunger and desire can't be selfish, not yet, not right now. He can't force pleasure out of his partner if he's feeling insecure. Hisoka needs to feel safe first. The magician has to open up for Illumi before they can reach the next steps.

“Hisoka... Do you trust me?”

Illumi stops moving any further, and sits back up, locking eyes and hands with Hisoka.  
***  
As his eyes are barred from their shield, Hisoka concentrates on the soft cold fingers intertwined with his hot shaking ones. His cheeks are red and the gold in his eyes is glistening as he stares into Illumi's dark gaze.

He trusts his lover, of course. He has been trusting blindly in him since the first time they met, when he asked the same of him, before giving him that flower that ultimately brought them back together. But he's afraid, scared out of his mind to look ugly. What if Illumi doesn't want him anymore once he sees his true self?

“Of course I trust you, my Lumi.”

He owes him at least that much, and he willingly starts to calm his breathing, trying to prepare himself.  
***  
The trust swirling in a mix of uncertainties in Hisoka's eyes is spellbinding. Illumi finds himself drowning in that liquid gold like quicksand, his mind lost in those sharp eyes as if in a trance. He has to close his eyes for a split second, breaking the spell and finding courage for them both.

Illumi gathers both of Hisoka's hands in his palms, clasps them together and brings them to his lips. He gently kisses those perfectly manicured nails, then the long slender fingers, and his partner's strong knuckles too. Finally, he leans down a smidge and places Hisoka's hands on either side of his own face.

“Let me in. Show me the real Hisoka.”

***  
A few shaky breaths escape the magician's plump lips. Illumi looks stunning yet soft as he asks him for safe passage through his darkest paths. The assassin is never interested in small talk, or meaningless personal information, that's why this sudden request for reality leaves Hisoka speechless, as his heart goes warmer and swells on his chest.

A sudden realization strikes him like a thunder, powerful enough to burn a tree down to its roots, yet bright and marvelous. I'm in love with this man.

A warm smile grows on his face, and his whole body relaxes. It's ok, he doesn't need to say it, there's no point in sharing words when silent actions can speak volumes.

“Very well, I hope you still want me after this, but it's ok if you don't.”

His words are almost a whisper, but an honest one from the heart. The magician undoes his trick silently, and Illumi can see all the places where thin pieces of fabric start appearing scattered across his torso, arms and even his face.

There are many more currently hidden by clothing that Illumi might not be aware of. But the amount of visible patches is already disturbing. Big pieces along his chest, some other ones over his toned abdomen. A small piece along his eyebrow and a vertical strip at the side of his neck. So much pain, all that scar tissue gathered in his otherwise soft skin. Each one a remainder of the hardships that life tossed against him, over and over again, since he was born into this world.  
***  
The truth is, Illumi has been terrified.

The assassin is petrified whenever he's alone with his thoughts, comparing himself against his perfect partner. Hisoka is so fully present in any and all circumstances, flawlessly built from head to toe, athletic, agile, powerful, funny and most of all - able to charm any living soul lucky enough to get to know him. Even Father almost hired the magician when they needed to staff the Zoldyck's butler team. That was until SIlva realized Hisoka already vanished from the estate long before he made the final hiring selection.

Despite the calm and prideful look he sports outwardly, Illumi has always been afraid of being less than, of not measuring up to others expectations of him. He trains himself to death every day, and willingly ingests every poison and pains known to man every night for a chance of approval from anyone, anyone at all. That's why he has never understood how someone as intact, as unbroken, as unmarked as Hisoka would want to be next to him.

It pains Illumi to see all of Hisoka's battle scars, but the sinking feeling in his stomach is quickly replaced by a sense of understanding. Perhaps the two of them are made to endure all these pains together. For just as Hisoka accepts the Zoldyck's dark way of life, Illumi accepts the magician's agonizing memories of his past life all the same.

Illumi picks at the piece of fabric on Hisoka's eyebrow, removes it and places his soft lips on the tiny strip of scar.

“Your eyebrow scar is sexy. Why did you hide this from me all this time?”

He repeats the same steps on each of Hisoka's scars, leaving prints of wet kisses from his face down to his neck and shoulders. He pauses at a tiny raised scar on the magician's shoulders.

“I almost wanted to say sorry about this one, but perhaps without it I would have never met you. Here is another kiss in exchange for an apology.”

Illumi's lips stay on Hisoka's old needle scar a few seconds longer, then he starts looking down again.

Sorrow is quickly being replaced by another feeling. As Illumi moves from Hisoka's mighty pecs down to his stunning abs, the magician's body shameful shivers turn into another kind of tremble.

The Zoldyck's eldest increases the pace of his kisses on his partner's collection of scars. From being drenched in tenderly soft lips on old wounds, Hisoka's torso is now damp with spots of slick saliva from Illumi's lapping tongue and hungry mouth. Illumi's erection is back with a vengeance and he does not even try to hide the small rolls of his hips, rubbing his length against Hisoka's pants.  
***  
There's an amused smile on the magician's face, Illumi just called his eyebrow scar "sexy," and he can't believe the tenderness of the kisses he's receiving. The usually cold and distant assassin is showering him with attention on every bit of his damaged skin. Hisoka can't believe that his lover is still there, even after witnessing his many imperfections.

Not only that, but Illumi is also kissing every bit of scarred tissue he can see. Hisoka didn't know that his damaged skin could actually feel extremely good when touched, and even the most sensitive bits which shoot a little more pain when touched, felt delightful under the assassin's care.

“That's my favorite.”

Hisoka said when a wet kiss landed on his shoulder. That particular scar was the only one that evoked a warm memory.

“That... pants...that feels really good, Illu.”

Hisoka's hips move up, along with the assassin, trying to increase the friction between them. He wants his clothes off, to feel that soft porcelain running all over him. There's no reason to hide anymore. Illumi accepts his every mark and imperfection, and the assassin is as perfect as always in his eyes.  
***  
A wet spot appears and starts spreading on Hisoka's pants. Ilumi scoots back and moves his legs to kneel in between Hisoka's thighs, both hands grabbing onto the magician's waist. He continues to kiss lower, and lower until he reaches Hisoka's waist band.

“Do you happen to have a lube around here? Please tell me you do. I have done this without being prepped before, but... that won't be fun for either you or me.”

Even as he ponders the less than ideal scenario, Illumi still moves along as planned. He pulls Hisoka's pants down with his teeth, freeing the massive erection that has been dying to get out for the last several minutes.

“I... uhmm... yeah some lube would be greatly appreciated. You're MASSIVE.”

Illumi feels a faint rush of blood on his face. He is no stranger to intimate acts, but the size of Hisoka's cock is definitely catching him by surprise.  
***  
Illumi speaks with the same nonchalant tone someone would use to discuss the weather, except his words travel through Hisoka, spreading like wildfire. He can't believe how otherworldly gorgeous and sexy his lover looks. The usually composed and cold assassin is intriguing, enticing and elegant. But this Illumi exuding confidence and expertise, unraveling him with clear intent, is erotic and Hisoka can't get enough of that.

A sudden question brings him back to the present and the awkwardness of his inexperience. He has lube, actually, but having to share that information makes him shudder. Still, he doesn't want anything to be uncomfortable for his lover.

“Well, thank you, my dear. You're not half bad yourself.”

At least his self-assurance is back, and after all those praises, more honest than before.

“I... Yeah, I have lube in the night stand.”  
***  
Tonight has been a wonderful treat. It's so rare to see Hisoka being so uncertain and flustered, and Illumi is enjoying the dynamic a little too much.

“Would you fetch it for me please, I'm going to be a bit busy here.”

As soon as Hisoka finishes reaching over to his night stand and fumbling around a few seconds too long, Illumi takes the lube and pours a generous amount on his hand.

One thing is certain about the assassin - he is all about efficiency. Illumi works one of his lubed fingers into his own entrance, wincing just a little. Meanwhile, his other hand reaches for Hisoka's throbbing cock, and slowly thumbs small circles around his head. He smears the abundant precum around, then wraps his whole hand around Hisoka's length and starts moving up and down in a deliberate, excruciatingly slow motion.

“I'm going to start slow first, and change up the speed and movement to see which one you react to the most. Of course, if you already know what you like from your solo sessions, let me know.”

As Hisoka gets larger and hotter in his palm, Illumi swallows hard and inserts a second finger into himself. He lets out a small sigh as his hole stretches to accommodate the added intrusion.  
***  
Illumi sure wasn't exaggerating when he said he had been trained for this. His efficiency is undeniable, but Hisoka is yearning for more. He wants to see how far they can go together, how hot can that fire burn. His confidence has been restored, and there's nothing to hide or be ashamed of anymore.

Hisoka raises a hand to cup his lover's face, and runs his thumb across those soft wanting lips. With his other hand, the magician strokes Illumi's thigh, feeling every flex on that lean muscle. He travels up until he meets the hip, where he draws a few small circles. Hisoka is a panting mess, buckling his hips up to follow his lover's movements on him. He might be a virgin but his body is starting to react on instinct. He reaches for Illumi's throbbing erection and starts sliding his hot hand up and down through the slicked length.

“Harder, touch me harder.”

A thought arises in his mind "Hurt me," but he doesn't know if that's something he should say.

“I want you so much, you're beautiful Lumi. If you really want to teach me, show me what you're doing to yourself.”

The magician wants to learn everything Illumi likes too. He's eager and willing to do practically anything to please him.  
***  
Illumi gasps when Hisoka reaches for his raging hard boner with his shaky hand to quickly pump the assassin's increasingly swelling desire with vigor and longing.

“Mhmm... that's a great start... keep stroking me like that…”

Noone has actually tried to please Illumi, ever. It's usually the other way around. And even then, it's because he needs to get an advantage, some piece of information, or a favor from them. He has never really wanted to pleasure anyone truthfully like right now. The way Hisoka looks at him, the burning hot touch the magician manages to imprint on his body, the earnest yearning in his honey-sweet voice... it all is driving Illumi insanely infatuated.

“But... baby…”

The word slips out of Illumi's lips. Unlike Hisoka, he doesn't enjoy pet names or cute labels. This is the first time he calls Hisoka something like that.

“Can I... will you let me please you first? This is your first time, and I want you to have the best experience... with me as your first. Then I'll show you what I like. Is that okay?”

Illumi regretfully slides away from Hisoka's hand, and inches back to the end of the bed. His body is now entirely in between Hisoka's legs. He lowers himself down, obsidian eyes still locked with gold, and wraps his small mouth around Hisoka's erection.

Illumi starts slow, and gentle. He wants Hisoka to savor every single sensation tonight. The assassin places quick wet kisses along his partner's length, from head to base. Once the playful series of kisses have sent a new wave of precum leaking out of Hisoka, Illumi whispers as his mouth almost forms a shadow of a proud smirk.

“If you like that, you're going to enjoy this even more.”

The infamous assassin knows full well how much Hisoka stares at him whenever he prepares his needles. Every time he licks his weapons to charge them with Nen, he could see Hisoka stop breathing.

That's why he's making a show out of this world-class blow job Hisoka most likely dreams of and masturbates to each time he comes home from a mission with Illumi. The Zoldyck's eldest sticks out his dexterous tongue, and swirls around Hisoka's testicles. He softly sucks each of his dear partner's balls until Hisoka's toes curl. Immediately he releases his hold, and Hisoka starts panting, hips thrusting up asking for more. Illumi starts licking from balls sack to the head, lengthwise, zig zag, writing a whole poem with his tongue on Hisoka's dick. Then, he abruptly stops and frees his mouth just enough to speak.

“Ah sorry, didn't you just say to touch you harder? My bad. As you please.”

Illumi suctions his cheeks in, and starts bobbing his head on Hisoka with increasing speed. If the request is for more pressure, then he shall serve it on a silver platter with extra toppings.  
***  
The overwhelming sensations are taking Hisoka's body prisoner. This is completely different from touching himself, even if the assassin has been the star of his every fantasy, having him there, lapping his tongue against his most intimate portion, beats anything he could have imagined.

The wet heat is driving him insane. How can someone as cold to the touch be scorching hot on the inside? Those eyes are staring at him too, Hisoka finds it impossible to look away, but when his lover obliges to his request to increase the pressure his back arches and his golden eyes shut down overpowered but pure pleasure.

Voiceless pants are replaced by breathy moans. His hips buckling up, desperately following Illumi's rhythm. Hands balled into fists, holding on to the bedding and unsteady legs surrounding his assassin.

There was a time when Hisoka would fantasize about fucking his partner. He had a mental picture of an innocent and modest Illumi melting under his touch. But reality turned out to be a million times hotter as fe felt like butter being molded at will.

Suddenly Hisoka realizes a wave of intense heat starting to grow in the pit of his stomach. Illumi is sucking and licking his cock making it harder with the pressure, stroking his tongue over the redden head. It is starting to feel like too much. Not that he isn't enjoying it, all the contrary, he is, dangerously so.

“Illu... Haaa... Stop, stop or I'm gonna come.”

His voice is low and desperate. As he pleads, a hand travels to his lover's hair and he runs his fingers through still damp black strands of silk. Hisoka still can't believe what is happening. All those years wanting to claim Illumi for himself. All that time between their first kiss and all that "practice" making out seems like a distant life for him. His perfect Zoldyck man is pleasing him in a way no one had ever done before, but he wants more. Even if that means he's being greedy, the magician wants more, everything might not even be enough.

He wants this Illumi, filled with confidence while exposed and naked. He wants his lover's touch and kisses invading him. He wants it all, just for himself. That raw lewdness combined with the exquisite sweetness of the expert assassin calling him "baby."

“Illumi, please I- I don't want this to end so soon.”  
***  
If Hisoka's natural scent is so sickly sweet, what would his cum taste like?

Illumi has been pondering about that question more times than he's willing to admit. And now that his partner's enormous cock is in his mouth, he can't seem to think of anything else.

But he might not get to find out the answer to that secret today. Hisoka is already thrashing about wildly, hands ravishing Illumi's hair and the bedsheet and the pillow and his own ruined texture surprise scraps of fabric. His huge thighs quiver and clench around Illumi's shoulders. It's not surprising, given that this is Hisoka's first time being intimate with someone else that's not his own hands. At this pace, either the Zoldyck will get to taste the bubble gum magic cum while Hisoka crushes his head with those thunder thighs. OR... Illumi can stop deepthroating Hisoka for a bit and enjoy filling himself with the magic stick instead.

“I bet you're delicious, but it's time for you to get an education.”

Illumi places his palms on the bed and pushes himself up. He graciously turns his body around, shifts his body weight on his knees and lays his toned torso on the messy bedspread. This way, his round buttock is now in full view for Hisoka to see. He adds a bit more lube on his hand and starts circling his own entrance again.

“Before we can have intercourse, you need to get me prepped first. That way it will feel better for both of us. Start with one finger, then slowly add more. We can move to anal toys later on. And uhm, I think I will also like it if someone uses their mouth on me there as well.”

Suddenly Illumi blushes as he verbalizes his needs out loud. He remembers the way Hisoka licks his playing cards right after he's done with his poor victims. Illumi always wonders that that tongue must feel like on every part of his body. The assassin is thankful he's facing away from Hisoka now, as his face gets redder with the thought and his finger is still playing at his own backend.  
***  
The assassin looks as perfect from behind as he does from the front. The round toned buttocks facing the magician are flexing with every slight move Illumi makes as he circles that slick entrance, inviting him not only with his words.

Hisoka wants to please his lover, to make him feel all those amazing sensations he's been experiencing under the assassin's touch. Having Illumi ask him for something he wants it's rare and intimate. Being able to please him though, gives him an adrenaline rush. Knowing his hands, and body can provide his lover pleasure is so exhilarating that Hisoka might just do anything Illumi asks of him.

“God, you're so sexy babe. I'll do anything you need.”

Without waiting any further, Hisoka propped himself a bit up on his elbows and then took a hold of both of Illumi's buttocks. He runs his thumb first circling that entrance, mimicking Illumi's motion, paying attention to every reaction, every change in his breathing. Then, Hisoka dives in and starts using his long luscious tongue to accompany his finger's movements. Illumi feels hot and tender as he laps his tongue across that twitching ring of muscles like if it was his favorite meal being served in front of him.  
***  
Sexual pleasure should never be given away for free, always make it part of a contract. Unless sexual gratification is exchanged for a future advantage, never allow others to see you lose your composure and let your guard down, even during the most sensual...

“AHHHHHHH HISOKAAAAAA~”

The mental image of his Father sternly lecturing and the disapproving downturn in Mother's mouth when they went over seduction training with him fade into nothingness as Illumi buries his face into a pillow and screams Hisoka's name.

Illumi has never had mutually consensual sex before, and it is an absolutely stark contrast to anything he has put his body through. His fingers dig into Hisoka's plush bed, and he finds himself gasping and yelping nonsense into the pillow until near suffocation. Hisoka is now using both his hands to grasp his hips, spreading his butt cheeks apart to gain better access, exploring him fully with wet lips and tongues. Illumi turns his face sideways, and musters breathlessly after catching a few hurried gulps of air.

“Give me... give me your hand…”

Illumi grabs one of Hisoka's hands and hastily wraps it around his erection. He fucks into both Hisoka and his own hands, panting with his eyes closed shut. Hisoka's slick tongue tethers between the inside and outside of him, teasing and provoking.

“Make me cum baby... Uhmphhh... Push your finger inside me again, fuck me with your hand, baby…”

With his mouth occupied and unable to verbally obey, Hisoka removes the remaining hand from Illumi's hips and finds his way inside. He knows theoretically to look for Illumi's prostate, but his inexperience is making him doubt himself again.

Sensing his partner's hesitation, Illumi rests all of his body weight on his cheek and chest to reach his free hand back to guide Hisoka's. One hand still pumping himself, the other expertly moves Hisoka's wrist until they find that pronounced bundle of nerves a few inches inches inside Illumi's anus.  
***  
Being able to transform Illumi like that with his bare hands is a magic trick Hisoka didn't even know he got. Even though he's not being touched and all his attention is concentrated on the whimpering mess on top of him, his cock is reacting almost as hard as before. Clear drops smearing all over his toned abs and a constant throb pulsing in the head. Receiving pleasure was hot, but giving it is amazing. Hisoka would do practically anything to get Illumi in that state again, calling him sweet pet names, crying his name into a pillow. It is as if his lover has stripped not only his clothes, but his shame and fears as well.

The inside of Illumi is a perfect contrast for his cold exterior. Hisoka can't stop imagining how it would feel to actually penetrate him, feeling that fire surrounding his dick as he entered. But there would be time for that later. Now, Illumi is begging for him to please him, and the magician is happy to oblige.

As soon as he finds that bundle of nerves inside of his lover, Hisoka starts abusing it with a vengeance. He moves his other hand as well, following the rhythm imposed, attentive, learning. He wants to memorize everything that turns the assassin into that pleading hot mess, so the next time he can perform unassisted.

Illumi keeps thrusting into their joined hands while Hisoka fucks him with his hand, twisting and bending his finger inside of him, following the pattern of his breathing. With his mouth, Hisoka kisses and nibbles at his lover's cheeks and the back of his thighs, drinking in every sound that comes from the assassin's ragged voice dripping lust.

“Yes, babe, you like that? Say my name again. Tell me how much you like it.”  
***  
Perhaps Hisoka was messing with him when he said he's a virgin. The man is doing an excellent job fucking Illumi's brain out with just his hands at this point. If the assassin has not been dazed enough, he would have realized how loud he's screaming Hisoka's names. With one hand weaved into Hisoka's fingers to pump himself, one hand curled into a fist barely able to support his body weight, Illumi cries strings of obscenities and needy pleads.

He can't see Hisoka right now with his eyes closed and face pressed flush into the pillow, but he can feel each rough lick of that slick tongue from his shaky thigh to his tensed butt cheek. A mixture of saliva and the previous dose of lube is smeared across his ass, making him ultra wet and pliable to Hisoka's fingers. The magician carefully works three of his fingers in, slowly at first as Illumi tightens around his hand and his hips stop moving for a quick second. With how wet he is however, it only takes a few minutes for Illumi to rock his ass back and forth to fuck himself on Hisoka's hand again.

Illumi whimpers, face flushed and damp with drool: "Spread your fingers a bit, I'm almost ready.*

Hisoka hums and does as instructed, then continues to relentlessly curl his fingers sending jolts of ecstasy all over his partner's body. Illumi has to consciously slow the pace of their hands, fearing he would cum too soon as his cock is aching red and sensitive to every single movement at this point.

“I want you inside me, baby... Fuck me Hisoka, fuck me right now!”  
***  
Having three fingers inside the assassin feels and looks beyond anything imagined for Hisoka. The wet warmth around his digits makes him want to fuck into that slicked hole even more. But even though Illumi's entrance feels relaxed, the magician fears it might not be enough to compensate for the massive girth of his throbbing erection.

But as he scissors and opens his fingers, spreading his lover even further, Hisoka hears the pleads coming for him, tangled in between whimpers and moans. There's nothing he wants more than to obediently oblige to the man begging him to fuck him.

“If you want me that bad…”

His voice is coated in honey, soft and sweet, but dense with intent. He gives a tiny wet bite to the place where the leg meets the ass, and then proceeds to slowly remove his fingers. The sight of the gaping hole in front of him makes Hisoka swallow hard and exhale a shaky breath in anticipation of what's coming.

“You can have me baby, you can have all of me. But…”

Hisoka grabs his lover by the ribs and turns him around, leaving him sprawled on the bedding, his raven hair fanned out like a blotch of perfectly drawn ink. His usually stoic face is redden and glistening with sweat, a thin glow of saliva escaping the corner of those parted lips. Even his wide, cold eyes are half lidded, staring into his own as Hisoka hovers over him.

“I wanna see you. You're so beautiful, baby. I wanna see your pleasure in your eyes.”

Hisoka thinks that Illumi has never looked more beautiful in his life, and this exquisite display of raw lust is just for him. The magician lines his hard leaking cock against his lovers entrance, and barely pushes in. Looking, observing every change in his lover's breath, afraid of hurting him, scared of doing something wrong.  
***  
If a Zoldyck's body is crafted and honed to be an assassination tool, then why does it feel so good to be ravaged by someone with absolutely no ulterior motives like this?

Illumi hisses and jerks his ass up when Hisoka bites him. The slight sting is followed by tender wet lips, and immediately right after when Hisoka removes his fingers, Illumi cries from the sudden hollow sensation. He desperately needs to be completely filled, and this time he wants it to be something much bigger than his partner's slender fingers.

Eyes half glazed over with desire, Illumi glances up as Hisoka flips his body over. The strength in those arms! Hisoka easily manipulates Illumi's body, settling him on his back and positioning himself in between his legs. His naked, scarred body now beaded with sweat looks marvelous towering over Illumi. The assassin lazily lifts his legs and spreads them wide open, and grabs Hisoka by the waist pulling him in a bit closer. His hands fall to Hisoka's thighs, grazing over raised scars and lean bustling muscles, tracing each definition intently. He wants to memorize every single imperfection of his magician - the real Hisoka that no one else in the whole wide world gets to see.

In this very moment, all responsibilities and expectations he has placed upon his shoulders vanish. It doesn't matter that he can't keep up the stoic, perfectly poised Zoldyck facade. Nothing else holds any meaning to him right now, not upholding the Family's pride and reputation, not being perceived as Illumi the most perfect assassin who shows no emotion and has no earthly entanglement, not having to focus on achieving total power and control. Just for once, all Illumi wants to fill his mind with is the thought of worshipping Hisoka with every single crevice of his own body.

And here it is. That divine, burning sensation of Hisoka's cock entering him. Illumi gasps from the initial searing pain, but he's already wanting more.

“Slow, baby, slow... You're huge…”  
***  
As soon as Hisoka starts pushing himself into Illumi the sensation becomes overpowering. The assassin still feels tight around him and he gets even tighter every time that impressive length moves in too quickly. Hisoka is doing his best not to rush his movements, but that heat starting to envelope him with such intense pressure is driving him mad.

Illumi is holding on to him, bringing him closer, making delightful sounds he never heard from him before. Whimpers, cries, and heavy breaths. Hisoka produces an amused smirk when his lover tells him to be careful because of his size. He was nervous before, thinking that Illumi wouldn't like his naked body. But watching the assassin unravel his most private expressions for his eyes made every shred of doubt exit his mind.

“I'm going in slow babe, I don't want to hurt you. Please, look at me. I wanna see your eyes.”

Hisoka starts pushing himself harder into his lover, still following a contained, slow motion. But he isn't stopping, he wants to feel that heat all the way from his reddened head to the base of that huge cock of his. He hears his lover's gasps and cries but he can also see the pleasure in his eyes. Pure lust dripping from every corner of those dark windows of the night sky.

Finally, Hisoka reaches the end, immersing his length completely into Illumi's entrance. He notices the other man arching his back and shutting his eyes closed, so he reaches for his face and thumbs loving circles on his cheek.

“Lumi, look at me. Open your eyes baby.”

Hisoka is panting and gasping too. He desperately wants to move his hips and ravage the assassin completely. His hair is down and messy and his makeup is smeared all over his face, but the loving and lewd look in his assassin's face gives him all the confidence and courage he needs.

“Do you like it? To be full of me like this?”  
***  
A new emotion washes over Illumi. Stillness of the ocean's night despite the presence of thunderous waves around him. A pool of tranquil water surrounding his entire body even though he can hear the waterfall in the distance. Is this what peace feels like?

Hisoka's call brings him back to consciousness. His mind might be completely blank in cloud nine but his body is definitely fully there in the presence. Illumi is being filled completely as Hisoka is balls deep inside of him now. The fullness is almost overwhelming, Hisoka's dick is among the biggest Illumi has ever had. And he actually gets to really experience it this time with true tenderness and wholehearted devotion.

“Yes, yes, yes, but can you stay still for a bit? I need a moment…”

Illumi breathes shakily and pulls Hisoka in for a close embrace. He wants to feel whole, perhaps, completed, just like this for a few more seconds. He wraps his arms around Hisoka's neck, placing the other man's head on the bend of his neck and shoulder so they are cheek to cheek. With Hisoka's full length deep inside of him and the magician being completely still, they are now a whole connected body. United. Together. They have finally become one.

Illumi lets out a deep sigh into Hisoka's neck. He wishes this moment would never end. But he knows Hisoka is anxious and ready, and his body wants the same thing. The assassin sticks out his small tongue and licks his partner's ear teasingly.

“Fine, I'm ready - ready this time. Why don't you…”

He pushes Hisoka up a bit, barely enough to turn to his other cheek and bite his ear lobe.

“...fuck me like you actually mean it?”

***  
That is a question that doesn't need to be asked twice. Hisoka is lost for a moment, breathing into Illumi's scent, smiling when his soft, pleading voice reaches him. He can barely contain his hips from moving already so letting them rock back and forth in a maddening slow motion feels as natural as breathing.

Hisoka pulls almost all the way out as he observes and marvels on the assassin's reactions. He can feel his lover trying to make him move faster, but this is his first time, and it happens to be with the man he loves, so he's not rushing any second of it. He wants to save the way Illumi looks, sounds and feels into his memory. Imprint a solid image in his mind so this fleeting moment can last forever as long as it's not forgotten.

But desire is a predatory beast, and soon enough it catches Hisoka with its blazing claws. The magician can't help but move faster, rolling his hips against the assassin, as he explores his warmth with unyielding passion. His hips start moving frantically, slamming himself against that slicked hole over and over again.

Hisoka is moaning loudly and his voice becomes hoarse with the raw sounds of lust. Separating his torso from Illumi's, Hisoka sits supporting his weight on his knees. Each of his hands fetch one of the assassin's legs to pull him in closer, slightly raising his knees. The magician feels as if he could reach even deeper into his lover like that, without stopping his relentless thrusts.

“Is this... Haaa... Is this ok, my Lumi?”

***  
Illumi's floating and drowning at the same time. He's absolutely weightless yet also falling down like a cannonball dropped into the chaos of a battlefield. Rough sex when asked for is pure heavenly bliss.

Hisoka shifts his position and pounds into him harder and faster. Illumi doesn't know what Hisoka is doing to his body and his mind anymore, he's completely drunk off of this carnal magic. His magician has driven him mad with lust, and he's willingly kept captive in this asylum coated in bubble gum and cotton candy.

“Ahh... Yess baby... Fuck me harder Hisoka…”

By now, Illumi is full on screaming Hisoka's name at the top of his lungs with zero shame left. A fleeting thought crosses his mind about whether anyone on Heaven's Arena's 200th floor would dare file a noise complaint against Hisoka tomorrow.

Illumi braces himself on his elbows, trying to move his body with Hisoka's rhythm but unable to. If he can't contribute with the motion, perhaps he can try assisting with depth. Illumi reaches his hands around Hisoka's backside, and cups his round toned ass tightly. Each time Hisoka rams into him, he spreads his fingers and pulls that exquisite ass in tighter, holding onto Hisoka's cock with as much tension as he can manage. This way, whenever Hisoka pulls out and thrusts back into him, there's an extra drag and added intensity in both directions.  
***  
Even though Hisoka tries his best to take over control of the situation, the difference in experience between the two is abysmal. Illumi grabs his ass with those slender yet powerful hands of his and pushes him in deeper than Hisoka ever thought could reach. The increased pressure takes a hold of his cock as he moves outward too. His mind is quickly going blank, and he fears that he won't last much longer.

Possessed by the maddening haze of lust, Hisoka grunts and starts bearing his teeth as he grits his jaw along with all of his toned muscles. The heat, the friction, Illumi's whimpers and cries, shouting his name so loud it could be heard at the first floor. Hisoka can't believe that he's living that scene, that he gets to be the one who witnesses the Zoldyck's true emotions.

“Fuck! Illumi... I'm- I'm close…”

Hisoka keeps ramming into his lover, railing him without mercy. He doesn't want this to be over, but his whole body is begging him for a release. He can feel the heat building up in his core, and that chill starting to possess him from under his skin.

“Illumi, baby... Ahhh.”  
***  
A convulsing wave ripples through both of their bodies. Drenched in sweat and doused in passion, their bodies collide against each other in rapid yet in-sync movements. Illumi's voice has gotten hoarse after chanting and screaming Hisoka's name for what feels like hours of euphoria. The luxurious Heaven's Arena suit is now filled with steady sounds of grunts, moans, and wet slapping noise.

Illumi's red hardened cock bounces pitifully against Hisoka's toned abs. He wants to get his release too, and he wants to experience it at the same time with Hisoka. Illumi pulls back one hand from Hisoka's butt to start stroking himself furiously.

“I'm close too baby... cum with me…” 

The assassin softly cries out his request in a midst of delirious sobs and dazed whimpers.

“Will you...ah..hm... will you cum inside of me?”  
***  
“Fuck yeah I will!... Hm... Ahh…”

Hisoka's legs are shaking, his powerful muscles ache even more than after an extenuating battle. He never knew having sex could be such a thrilling experience, but he's sure it's only perfect because the man under him is his precious Zoldyck prince. The magician was ashamed of being a virgin before, but considering what a breathtaking experience his first time has been, he wouldn't have it any other way.

Pulsing heat builds up in his entire body. His panting turns into ragged screams and breathy curses. He's holding on to the tender and toned flesh of Illumi's legs so hard that bruises might appear the next day, but he doesn't care. Not when that pulsing flesh is still swallowing him full in the violent pace they're moving.

The assassin's grip on his own cock is beyond erotic too, watch him please himself as he cries his name makes him wonder if maybe Illumi has ever touch himself thinking about him, just like he has.

Hisoka feels his orgasm drawing near until everything he sees is a white haze of pure pleasure. His body shakes and convulses as he buries that massive throbbing cock of his deeper into the assassin's abused hole. There are waves of pleasure still crashing against him as his hips keep rocking from pure instinct.

“Fu... Haa... God…”

***  
Illumi can feel the violent shakes in Hisoka's body and his own as they both are reaching climax. His cock is aching for a release, and the way Hisoka stares at how he's rubbing himself off is absolutely the most arousing thing ever. His partner is beautiful - that's a fact well known around all Battle Olympia fans. Yet, no one has ever seen this exotic, scarred and sexed up face - only Illumi gets this privilege. His usual sensual voice is enough to make any soul falter at his feet, but the animalistic grunts Hisoka breathes out at him right now can get Illui to forget his own last name.

Hisoka drops his forehead onto Illumi's neck, perfect abdomen clenches as he pumps his load into Illumi. The assassin takes in the sensation from his partner's cock, his own anal walls twitching around that massive unloading girth. The forceful movements push Illumi over the edge as well, as he squirts thick ropes of semen all over Hisoka and his own stomachs.

“Are you okay? How are you doing?”

Illumi asks breathlessly as Hisoka collapses onto him. Exhaustion consumes two perfectly sculpted bodies soaking in sweat and cum.  
***  
A few seconds go by before Hisoka can find himself present enough to catch up his breath. The assassin's heart beating beneath him, echoes in his ears with his own. Both sharing the same loud rhythm as their chests heave in the aftermath of decadent pleasure.

Hisoka removes his already softening length from Illumi. The air in the room is hot and thick with the humidity of their sweat, but it still feels cold against that redden flesh that already misses the tight embrace of Illumi's warmth. He wants to lose himself in that moment, forget about the fights and the hardships of life. Having his nose buried in his lover's neck, breathing into that glorious scent is how Hisoka would describe being in heaven.

“I'm perfect, I'm... You're perfect, my Lumi”

The magician raises his ripped arms and holds his love in a close embrace. Those same hands that got him the fame of the grim reaper of Heaven's Arena, start combing through silky black hair with the care one would use to touch the wings of a butterfly. If he could protect his Lumi from every harm in the world, he gladly would.

“How are you, babe? Should I... What can I do for you?”

***

Illumi weaves his fingers into Hisoka's, pondering the difference in their natural body heat. Even right after sex, somehow Illumi's skin feels like an evening breeze, cool to the touch while Hisoka's skin is bottled up warmth from an afternoon laying out on the sea side.

Tonight was an evening of many firsts for these two extremely professional partners. And holding hands is also one of those activities, after eight years of knowing each other.

Reality is starting to settle in for Illumi. As his breathing slows down, and the usual robotic mannerism surfaces, Illumi looks back at Hisoka with once again emotionless, distant eyes.

“I didn't mean to stay this long--I was only going to shower and wait for my clothes to dry. It's too late to catch an airship back to Kukuroo now. So I will have to find lodging for the night.”

As he does his best to sound even keeled and void of feelings, Illumi's hands are still nestled in Hisoka's.

“And I'm going to need to shower the second time today. Can I use your bathroom again?”

He wants Hisoka to say no, and for him to get out of his apartment and that this was a one time thing. He also wants Hisoka to pull him in close, not let him go and ask him to spend the night. He wants to rip his own heart out so he doesn't have to deal with this confusing violent whirlwind of emotions he doesn't truly comprehend. This is not right, sex shouldn't have been this pleasurable. He's straying far from the Zoldyck's rulebook again and somehow, he doesn't want to care.

***  
Upon witnessing Illumi's cold eyes again, a faint bitterness takes a hold of Hisoka's chest. Reality is not that cloud nine moment they lived. He can't ask that man to be his boyfriend and go on dates holding hands like teens in love. But he can at least enjoy Illumi's finger and legs and arms entangled with his for as long as it lasts.

“No…” He says almost in a whisper, and witnesses an amusing flinch from the assassin. “You can't go find some other place to sleep for the night. I won't let you.”

He knows he should conceal his feelings, there's no way they're reciprocal. But he wants so desperately to tell him how much he means to him. How much his heart has his name imprinted on its flesh.

“You can use the shower, as much as you want. But I won't forgive you if you take my virginity and run.”

Please stay, please, just for the night. Let me pretend you love me too, until the sun comes up and reminds me otherwise.  
***  
There's something in Hisoka's voice so fragile yet so fierce, it slices through Illumi's heart like a poisoned dagger.

It goes beyond a guilt tripping attempt. His real question lays await in the unspoken words. They both know if Illumi walks away tonight, there would not be a second time. No more palm touching palm. No fingers grazing soft lips. Never again the warm breeze of ragged breaths against each other's neck.

Illumi remembers too well how he came back home that night after his first time having to resort to using his own body as bait. He didn't cry, but Silva took notice of how Illumi couldn't look his Father straight in the eyes during the mission report. "If your grandfather and I can turn murder into enterprise, then you could find sense in using sexual favors for politics. Power dynamics is all there is to be had in carnal pleasure. Nothing more, nothing less." Illumi closes his eyes, reciting the Zoldyck's teaching to all of their children about their duty: "Love out of wedlock is but an illusion, Illumi. You might face infatuation and passion, but it's only through unadulterated commitment and devotion to your own Family that would grant you the true understanding of Love." And since he has been untruthful about how Hisoka came into his life, shielding his failed mission years and years ago from the rest of the Zoldycks, and now getting himself caught up in heated infatuation with the magician, he has betrayed the Family and thus never be able to understand what true love is.

Yet, the moment Illumi opens his eyes and sees a reflection of his own blank expression in those shining pots of honey looking back at him, he falters.  
“I'm sorry, I do not mean to hurt you. You should go shower first, then it's my turn. You will feel better once you clean up. I'll change the sheets while you're in the bathroom so we have a clean bed to sleep on tonight.”

The Zoldyck leaves his hands clutched in Hisoka's palms, squeezing a few times to let him know. The unspoken answer to Hisoka's unsaid question is no, he is not walking away tonight. Not this time.  
***  
There's a confident smile growing on Hisoka's lips. He understands that the prideful Zoldyck would never admit tenderness or the desire to spend the night, but his actions speak for him. The softness in his voice, the reassuring pressure of his hands. Suddenly everything he wants doesn't seem as distant and cloudy.

After giving his lover a sweet kiss on the lips, Hisoka stands up from the bed and witnesses the chaos surrounding them. Illumi looks glorious with his messy hair and sweat glistening skin. Even though his face has returned to that death panned expression, the memories of his features contorted into pleasure as he called him baby are so fresh and vivid that Hisoka's cock is reacting again.

“Ok, dear. I'll go to the shower then. That is unless you want to join me in there.”

His usual lewdness is back, along with a confident smirk adorning his face. Even if he's completely exposed there's not a trace of shame in his mind.

“Since I never got to put your clothes in the dryer, feel free to borrow anything you want from my closet.”

As he says that, he starts walking to the bathroom, humming an upbeat tune, making a show of balancing his hips since he's sure the assassin would be staring at his ass. Even though Illumi believes himself as the king of stealth, Hisoka has caught him multiple times giving long looks at his physique.  
***  
It's unfair how Illumi's cock is already semi-hard again from watching Hisoka walk away. No matter how calm and collected Illumi's face might look, his body is having its own protest. The assassin has fucked into his hands imagining a naked Hisoka in various positions tons of times before, and seeing the real version in the nude, abs still dotted with Illumi's cum and thighs damp from sex-crazed sweat in front of him is a tall glass of tease to abstain from. Hisoka's body ratio is unthinkable. Wide back, broad shoulders, strong chest, tiny toned waist, and an impeccable ass to round out a perfect hourglass shape. Illumi forces himself to look away, letting out a hopefully inaudible sigh, still not believing that he got to be Hisoka's first.

Illumi strips the soaked bedsheet, and makes the bed with a fresh set of linen. He holds onto the simple black and white set of clothes Hisoka previously laid out for him then goes on to ponder why on earth he would put these on now when they're about to go to sleep. Does Hisoka sleep with a full outfit on? How unlikely. Maybe he has pajamas in bungee gum prints, that would not be a surprise.

Illumi fluffs his pillow, waiting for his turn to enjoy the shower. There's still a full load of cum leaking out from his ass currently, and now he's no longer warm from Hisoka's body heat- it only feels sticky and wet all over.  
***  
After only a few minutes, Hisoka emerges from the bathroom behind a curtain of smoke. The entire room gets heavy with its humidity and the sweet scent of the raspberry body wash bubblegum shampoo the magician used. He walks into the bedroom wearing nothing but a pastel pink towel around his hair. The scars are still visible, there's no point in hiding them again, but there's something else that makes the sight of the clown completely different. Not a trace of makeup can be found on his face.

As Hisoka walks towards his lover, the lights bring forward the most delicate pattern of freckles, adorning his cheeks and nose in a cute arch pattern. The magician let's his head-towel become undone and ruffles his damp feathery hair that goes down almost to cover his eyes.

“The bathroom is all yours, darling.”

Illumi has made the bed and there's this pinch on his heart for the mundane, domestic vibe they're living. Hisoka lays on the freshly changed cover and sets his towel on the pillow to keep it at least a little dry. He sure is surprised. Hisoka would never have guessed that the prideful Zoldyck prince would do something so beneath him as making the bed for them. But again, a lot went on this night that the magician never thought his lover would do.  
***  
Illumi turns on the shower, but remains a few steps away from the stream of refreshing cold water, allowing himself to drown in self-indulgent thoughts and also to conceal his activities from Hisoka. Before he punishes his body with an ice-cold aquatic treatment to commemorate his own failure as a Zoldyck against the allure of lust, the assassin wants to be selfish once more. The day has already gone to hell, might as well add a bit more sin to the heaping mountain of regrets. From being violated in the death of night by three disgusting civilians, to losing himself in Hisoka's embrace, he is already bringing enough shame to the Zoldyck name in the last twenty-four hours. At the very least, he can manage one more self-deprecating act. Tomorrow when he gets back home he will punish himself enough to make up for all this in one fell swoop.

Illumi sits on the cold floor and reaches for his own entrance which is still slick with Hisoka's cum. He plunges two fingers inside, curling and flexing them, sobbing miserably as he visualizes how the magician's ass cheeks bounced on the way from the bed to the bathroom. The assassin drops his chin to his bare chest, and proceeds to thumb at his own nipple, remembering the way Hisoka emerged from the shower. He rubs and pinches his sensitive nub of nerves, moaning softly as the image of a bare-faced, hair down Hiso floods his mind. Those damn freckles and scars adorning his body... The stunning cheekbones contrasted against his sharp nose laughing at Illumi's weakness in the dim night light... Illumi's hips start jerking up as he grinds down onto his own hand. But he doesn't deserve to cum. What a weak mind, what a disgrace. Illumi drops forward, fists on the wet tile floor, crying uncontrollably with his dick still at half-mast. He's a coward who has succumbed to lowly earthly desires, of course Father made the right decision to not make him heir.

Illumi comes out of the shower, face deadpan and body squeaky clean, perhaps too clean. He must have rubbed himself raw as he spent a long time running through three rounds of scrubbing.

“I'm tired, let's go to sleep.”

He crawls into bed, and closes his eyes. His breath is steady and controlled, at least he can manage that. Illumi prays that he will doze into sleep quickly, and tomorrow can get here fast enough so he can have another chance at redeeming himself.  
***  
Getting the chance to sleep beside Illumi is probably a once in a lifetime opportunity that Hisoka is not willing to waste with fear of rejection. Slowly but steady, he slides an arm beneath the Zoldyck's neck, and another over his slender waist. Illumi doesn't complain about it, and Hisoka falls asleep to the feeling of his lover's back expanding against his chest. 

When morning comes, the first thing that catches Hisoka's attention is something heavy crushing his left arm and part of his chest. The second is the huge amount of black hair covering his face, tickling his nose. Apparently, Illumi is a messy sleeper. And a damn cute one too. The assassin's cheek is scrunched against Hisoka's peck and his slender legs are tangled between his. Hisoka feels like one of those body-pillows he's seen around town.

But there's something else calling for his attention. The hot bulge between Illumi's legs is a perfect match for Hisoka's own morning wood. He wants to tease his lover, test his new learned skills and maybe -hopefully- get another round like the one they had last night. The magician rocks his hips sideways, pushing against his lover's length with his huge thigh. The sleepy sounds coming from him are exquisite. Screw coffee, Hisoka knows exactly what he wants for breakfast. 

Light as feather for his powerful arms, Hisoka turns Illumi's body until he's facing up. His hard-on silhouetted by the thin sheet covering his pale skin. The magician removes the soft fabric and takes an appreciative look at that hardened cock. Illumi kept talking about how big Hisoka's dick is, but the assassin is not far away from the same size. As Hisoka rubs his palm against its length he crawls down to the edge of the bed. Finally he licks Illumi's length from base to head, catching as much as he can from that reddened flesh into his hot, wanting lips.  
***  
Illumi is back in his room at the Zoldyck's mansion again. Another day, another morning waking up in his own colossal bedroom alone, surrounded by soulless furniture perfectly arranged as though straight out of a luxury home decor magazine. Blank walls. Lonely swirls of dust scattering in the sun rays casting over his cloudy lidded eyes. Nothing but the memories of his previous wild night to accompany him, still stirring in his body and mind. Illumi is already hard with a brief recollection of Hisoka's flushed face panting on top of him, his scarred eyebrow damp with perspiration. He hazily feels a hand around his raging boner, slightly different from his own stroke. Maybe masturbating feels different when he's half asleep, the sensation is unusual. That's alright, it's extremely good anyway. Then, his dick receives a royal treatment of a top-notch, sensual wet lick. Incredible long, pointed tongue. Ah, of course he's inside his own wet dream. He's burying his cock in Hisoka's throat within a beautiful fantasy.

Eyes still closed, Illumi reaches for the head of slicked-up red hair he knows to be there in his recurring sex-crazed dreams. He grabs and pulls harshly, bouncing that dreadfully gorgeous made up face on his stiffened cock. He wants Hisoka to choke, to cry, to sob out loud from sucking his yearning dick. Illumi moans loudly, it's not like anyone can judge him in his own imagination.

“Your mouth feels so good, Hisoka... I want to feel you from the inside... I want to fill you up... Ohhh, Hisoka…”

Illumi growls, his grunts surprisingly low compared to his usual flat-toned eerie voice. He flexes his forearm and plunges Hisoka's head deeper, faster, again, and again. Until he hears gurgling noise and feels a wet stream of spit dripping onto his balls. He blinks his eyes wide open.

The full lips around his length belong to a natural, unpainted face. The bright red hair is tussled, messy, an endearing bedhead look. Turns out he has been face fucking a real Hisoka, right inside the magician's private suite at Heaven's Arena. He's still here, on the same bed where he got pounded into oblivion by Hisoka last night. This is reality, and no longer one of his fervent dreams.

Illumi is terrified. He removes the forceful hand from Hisoka's hair, relieving the magician briefly for a few fresh gulps of air.

“Are you okay? Can you breath?”  
***  
What he thought would be something kinky and sweet, suddenly turns out into a life-threatening experience of sorts. Hisoka is coughing his lungs out, trying to catch his breath as he wipes his chin with the back of his hand. He finally looks up to find a rather concerned Illumi -maybe his robotic mask doesn't work so early in the morning- staring back at him behind his wet erection.

“Yeah, I'm fine. But what the fuck?”

Even though he tries to pout and look irritated about the forcefulness of his partner, there's a smirk growing on his lips and a faint blush highlighting his freckles. Hisoka notices his own cock hasn't lost any of the initial morning hardness, and he looks at Illumi with a surprised expression so candid that it's almost amusing.

“Although... That was kinda hot.”

He ponders the situation with such severity that he might as well be plotting a mission. After a split second he raises his eyebrows to determine he has come to a conclusion. 

“Yes, definitely hot. But maybe let me know that you're gonna fuck my throat next time. Now I know surprises are dangerous.”

He clears his throat one last time and dives forward for a kiss. He only takes Illumi's bottom lip between his though, and suckles on it before releasing it with a winner's smile. 

“Good morning, darling.”  
***  
The sultry way Hisoka is teasing with just a half kiss is utterly provoking. If he's going to suck on Illumi's lips like that and already drives him mad, what else is he going to do with those juicy plump lips?

The Zoldyck is definitely fully awake now. He stares at the grinning face in between his legs. This is the best way to wake up, ever. But he's extremely hard with an uncomfortable ache in his erection since he blue balled himself last night in the shower. He needs Hisoka to help him find release, and soon.

Illumi caresses Hisoka's face, stroking his spit-slick cheek with his thumb and tilting the strong chin up with his palm.

“You should have known not to ever sneak up on an assassin. So, if I ask respectfully now, can I..?”  
***  
The smile turns into a complete grin of satisfaction. Hisoka was afraid that last night events wouldn't take place again in the future, but having Illumi asking for more of him fills him with a sense of self-assurance. 

“I'll remember that, for next time.”

He sneaks in a reminder that he doesn't want their passionate encounters to end anytime soon as he starts kissing Illumi's toned body making a wet trail on his way down. As soon as he reaches his final destination, he decides to go around that heated length and start kissing it at the base. He sucks and laps his tongue moving upwards, reaching the leaking head and catching a few drops of pre-cum on the tip of his sharp, long tongue.

“Of course you can. Is this what you want?”  
***  
Illumi hips shoot up the moment Hisoka's tongue touches the split on his head. He lets out a pitiful moan, unable to suppress his body's response to the magician's touch. Hisoka has the ability to completely destroy the Zoldyck's mask with one simple flick of a tongue, how dangerous of a skill is that?

“Please, please, just like that…”

Illumi leans back on his elbows, head tilting back and eyes closed. This can't be real. He opens one eye, yes, Hisoka is indeed still there, working tirelessly on his massive erection. Dreams do come true, sometimes.

“Is it okay if I pull on your hair too? I know how vain you are with your hair.”  
***  
Hisoka snorts a contained laugh from his nose. Bold of Illumi to call him vain about his hair. But it isn't the time for witty remarks, it is time to please his lover. And himself apparently, since his cock was twitching and reacting to the scene unfolding in front of his eyes. He never knew having a mouth full of dick could be this arousing, but it definitely is. Hisoka hollows his cheeks and removes his mouth from Illumi's length with a lewd pop.

“Please do. Just know I wouldn't let anyone else pull on my hair besides you.”

That said, Hisoka goes back down. He holds and pumps that leaking length with one hand and his head bobs up and down increasing the pressure each time he gets to the tip. His other hand goes up, beyond Illumi's abs, all the way to his nipple and starts playing with it between his thumb and index finger.

Every moan, every sound dipped in lust the assassin grants him is like a praise to his early developing skills, and Hisoka can't help but feeling proud of himself again.  
***  
Illumi tenses at Hisoka's response. "Anyone else" - letting anyone else... Someone else who touches his magician, grabbing him, palm full of red hair, groping wildly all over that scarred torso. The thought of that sight punches Illumi in the guts, sending him into a thunderous fit of rage.

Illumi sits up with one arm stretched out behind him, supporting his weight and extends the other towards Hisoka. His partner knows what's coming this time, grinning and continuing to tease Illumi's sensitive nipple. He is not prepared, however, for the renewed force of charged libido coming for him. Illumi drags Hisoka's head up off of his cock, and rams it back down until his length is completely buried inside Hisoka's throat. He holds the magician down, strong arming his face into place. Once Hisoka starts squirming and slobbering on him, Illumi starts rolling his hips up, using the leverage from his other arm and legs to punish Hisoka's airway.

“Tap me three times if it gets too much... Oh yes, Hisoka, use your hand too…”

Illumi continues to thrust mercilessly, allowing himself the luxury of moaning nonsense and burying all of his pent up needs into Hisoka's flawless lips.  
***  
The forceful hand digging into his hair is making Hisoka choke with that raging erection invading his throat. His eyes start getting watery due to the violence inflicted on his airway. Even though his body is begging him to cough, to release himself from that asphyxiation, he can't. He wants to use his hand on his partner, but he fails at following the right rhythm. Overall, Hisoka has never imagined Illu being so overly dominant, but he finds himself willing to obey.

What started out as something uncomfortable is turning into pain at a fast pace. The tight grip on his hair, his jaw tensing up and his cloudy, dripping eyes are probably that "too much" Illumi mentioned before.

Hisoka frantically taps three times into his lover's side, begging him to stop. He wanted it rough, he liked it at first, but going from zero to a hundred in a split second was overwhelming for him.  
***  
Illumi moves the hand he has over Hisoka's head, gently patting his partner's neck and back. He forgets Hisoka is yet to be experienced in intimate practices, and definitely is not versed in gag reflex training like himself.

“Let's take a break from that, come here. Let me kiss you.”

Illumi grabs Hisoka's by the shoulders, inching both bodies up towards the headboard. He sits up straight and rests his back against the wall, moving Hisoka next to him and leans the magician's head on his shoulder. Illumi then throws both of Hisoka's legs on one of his own so that Hiso sits on his thigh facing him sideways. The assassin places a soft kiss on Hisoka's forehead, then his nose, and finally meets his lips with his own. As they fall into a sweet embrace, locking lips and tongues, Illumi places one of Hisoka's hands on his erection suggestively and whispers.

“Do you want me to try fingering you, see if you would like that?”

From the side where Hisoka is leaning onto him, Illumi reaches his arm to Hiso's back, caressing his bedmate's pronounced hip bones and Venus dimples.  
***  
The heat in his throat is quickly relocating to somewhere else in Hisoka's body. But it's not harmful anymore, rather inviting, and encouraging. The soft embrace and sweet kisses are so forgiving in nature that the magician almost forgets how far away from Illumi he actually is regarding experience. There's a faint sorrow on his chest; he wants to learn and please his lover too.

Something about what Illumi says does spark his interest in a new experience to discover. He has always imagined being the one fucking into his lover, not the other way around. But the assassin's tone and his agitated breath as he slowly pumps along his length makes him consider agreeing.

“I think I might like that, actually. I've... Never done anything like that before, but…”

His words die out on his lips, choosing actions instead. Hisoka kisses his assassin unleashing his built up desire. The thought of bottoming for that man is both exciting and frightening at the same time.  
***  
Illumi admires the way his partner's long, rich lashes flutter over his dreamy half closed eyelids. The man is truly handsome, even with teary eyes from choking on his dick just seconds ago. Illu licks his own fingers before returning Hisoka's kiss, and meekly traces his hand down to the magician's lower back. He reaches for Hisoka's entrance, thumbing lazily around the tensed ring of muscles. It's obvious Hisoka is nervous, plus from this position he can't reach that far back anyway, so Illumi is taking his time simply letting his partner get used to the presence of a finger around his anus. Illu tries to distract his anxious playmate with a passionate make out session, sucking on Hiso's full lips and biting him softly occasionally.

“You're doing great, don't think about anything else but allowing yourself to feel good. Trust me, and do your best to relax.”

Illumi carefully leans down on Hisoka's side, maneuvering the two entangled bodies down to bed. Slowly, but surely, in between kisses and ragged breath, Hisoka is finally laying down on his back, both legs still resting in the nook between Ilumi's knee and thigh. The Zoldyck's eldest lets his curtain of black silky hair cascade down, blocking the morning sun from their views, and parts his lips from Hiso's to reach over to the night stand for some lube.

Illumi returns, looking straight into Hisoka's flushed cheeks, already dazed in sincere desire. He warms up a generous dollop of lube in his palm, and once again circle Hiso's entrance with just his index finger. His thumb pressed onto the magician's perineum, and his palm squeezing in a circular motion to help Hisoka feel more familiar with close contact down there.

“Let me know when you're ready to give it a try.”

***  
When Illumi's wet fingers make their initial contact against Hisoka's entrance, he feels every muscle in his body tense. The magician can't help but look away until his lover starts kissing him with such passion it's impossible not to get lost in the heat.

“I'm... I'm trying. It's just. It's weird.”

But weird doesn't mean bad, and when Hisoka ends up against the mattress, feeling the digit slicked with lube, it starts to feel better. Even though he's doing his best to relax, his breathing is still ragged and he bets Illumi can feel his entrance twitching against his hand. That thought makes his cheeks blush as he tries to hide his face among Illumi's luscious hair.

After a few deep breaths, Hisoka begins to relax. His body loses some of its rigidity, and an uncharacteristic voice, sweet and embarrassed, exits his lips.

“Ok, I think I'm ready.”  
***

Illumi showers Hisoka's face, which is now full-on red embarrassment with reassuring kisses. He caresses the red head's cheek, keeping close skin to skin contact partly to distract Hiso and also to ease him into a new experience.

His current view is a spectacle. His tall, muscular, invincible magician is now flushed with anxious energy and anticipation, waiting to get breached. There is something absolutely intoxicating to see such a powerful man being vulnerable and entrusting his body wholeheartedly to Illumi.

Illumi slips one finger in, and waits patiently as Hisoka's brows furrow and his whole body tenses up. He whimpers and pants for a few seconds, but as Illumi nuzzles at his burning hot neck tenderly, Hisoka finally relaxes his lower body enough for Illumi's hand to move again.

The assassin's lubed and slender finger feels foreign at first, but Hisoka's nervousness is quickly turned into excitement. Illumi leisurely curls and extends his digit for a good while until Hisoka is fully comfortable with his lone finger. A wet, teasing lick on Hisoka's pierced ear, and a surprisingly lewd but direct whisper warns him.

“I'm about to put the second one in.”

Illumi's cock twitches as he breathes into Hisoka's cheek. His erection bobs slightly and grazes Hisoka's thigh, the head already damp with precum.  
***  
Only one finger has been enough to make him whimper and gasp for air, Hisoka can't imagine what can happen once Illumi executes his last command. Which, by the way, wasn't a question. Rather a heads up for him to know what to expect. If anything, the anticipation alone was enough to make him tense again.

Illumi's second digit is already starting to circle at his entrance, and even though Hisoka can handle pain in a way that makes him feel almost inhuman, there's something about willingly submitting to his lover that makes his body react differently. He doesn't know if it's because of the intimate nature of the touch, or due to the fact that the man doing the touching is his Illumi. But one thing was for sure, every nerve ending in his body is firing up as the Zoldyck continues his expert ministrations.

“O- ok... Just, go slow. Please?”

His long, and naturally curved eyelashes flutter against the assassin's cheek as Hisoka verbalizes his plea. Sometimes though, he's not sure if he wants to be handled with care or -since violence is everything he has ever known- being forcefully rendered into submission. As Illumi's length grows and twitches against his thigh the magician is certain of only one thing. He wants to be fucked by his lover, hard, raw, and wild. But at the same time, as Illumi's slender fingers start going through him with a burning sensation that's making him wince and squirm, the magician is not sure if he'll be able to deal with that perfect Zoldyck cock.  
***  
The demure look fits Hisoka a bit too well. When does this man ever not look perfect?

Illumi heeds his playmate's plea, and takes the utmost care in gliding in the second finger. Once again, he pampers Hisoka with adoring kisses, leaving his fingers inserted without moving for a while until Hiso acclimates to the increased stretch. Once Hisoka relaxes again, Illumi pushes in a bit further, searching for his golden ticket. Hisoka needs to feel good with his prostate being well stimulated first before they can go any further.

And it doesn't take long for Illumi to find what he's searching for. The Zoldyck's rigorous pleasure training course pays off at least in this sense. He strokes Hisoka's prostate, first tenderly, then steadily increases his speed and pressure until Hisoka squirms around his hand.  
***  
As soon as the assassin finds his prostate, the burning sensation along the edges of his entrance transforms into liquid pleasure, crawling underneath his skin like honey. It's such an intense feeling that his hips buckle forward and his dick twitches and throbs.

“Ahh... That feels so good, baby.”

Hisoka relaxes into Illumi's loving touch and starts moaning beside his ear. The experienced hand fucking his ass is doing an excellent job of leaving him melted into the arms of his lover.

“Illu... Would you... Haa, would you fuck me?”  
***  
The assassin can't help but crack a small grin into Hisoka's neck, licking each bead of salty sweat peppering his marble skin. Hisoka's body is not unlike a Nen-controlled puppet in Illumi's hand now, except the lewd movements and noises coming out of the magician are purely driven by lust.

“Of course I want to take you. But you're not ready yet, don't be hasty. You keep asking me to speed up and do these things, then you immediately regret your premature decisions. Here, let's see how you respond to this…”

Illumi starts scissoring his two fingers, stretching Hisoka slightly. The arch in Hiso's body and the moans he makes as a response is proof enough that he's still requiring some extra attention.

“See, not yet. Let me help speed things up though.”

Illumi squeezes himself out of their tight embrace, flipping over so that he's on top and facing Hisoka. The assassin lowers himself down to attend to Hiso's throbbing cock, his right hand still working tirelessly. He places his left hand under his partner's ball sack, fondling and teasing it with care. Once Hisoka gets comfortable in their new position, Illumi takes the magician's erection whole from head to hilt in his mouth in one try. The Zoldyck's eldest takes pride in his nonexistent gag reflex, slobbering and sucking with expert efficiency and zero visible symptoms of discomfort.  
***  
Every coherent thought flees from Hisoka's mind the second his lover swallows him whole. There's a constant back and forth with the many sensations exploding in his body. Sometimes the discomfort of his entrance stretching with those scissoring fingers would be too much, and his brow furrows and his mouth tightens into a line. But then, those same long digits would curl against his prostate, firing up that bundle of nerves, and Illumi's throat would humm while holding the throbbing head of his cock, and his painful gasps turn into moans filled with pleasure, his eyes relax and the desire to be fucked into his own mattress returns.

“Oh God, Illumi. You're so good, baby.”

Hisoka buckles his hips up, and that simple motion makes his dick bury further into the assassin’s silky lips. But his entrance tightens so the fingers invading him suddenly become painful intruders. It is such a wonderful contrast. Everything about his relationship with Illumi has been a combination of the both, and Hisoka loves every moment of it.  
***  
With Illumi's mouth forming an air tight grip around Hisoka's cock coupled with streams of slick saliva coated all over the magician's crotch, the wet noise trickling from each of Illu's movement is exceedingly erotic. His lips are swollen and pink from the friction, yet he's dutifully concentrated on keeping Hisoka's cock happy more than ever.

As Hisoka's ass bounces on his hand, Illumi slowly adds his third finger in and continues to stretch Hisoka carefully. The assassin knows too well what being penetrated without mercy feels like, and that's the last thing he wants for his partner's first experience. Even though they both don't talk much about their respective pasts, it is fair to assume that neither needs more intentional miseries added to their lives. From their first night and morning waking up together, Illumi has gathered that Hisoka does not yet know how to gauge his limit and how to tell his partner no. Therefore, Illu will need to be the one to guide Hisoka into this world of pleasure the correct way. He stops for a second, looks up and asks:

“I want all of you, Hisoka... you feel amazing inside... But you need to let me know when you're ready for me, will you? I won't do it unless you're comfortable with the idea.”

Illumi goes back to licking Hisoka's massive boner, eyeing his partner for the green light to proceed.  
***  
Looking down briefly to where Illumi is, Hisoka does his best to relax and concentrate on the pleasure of the top class blow job he's getting, along with the slick fingers making their way in through the tender flesh around his entrance. It does feel good, all the pain and discomfort has started to subside and as his lover continues with his relentless ministrations, the magician starts moaning nonsense giving in to pure lust.

If only Illumi's fingers feel amazing stretching him, brushing up against his most sensitive spot, Hisoka can only imagine exactly how much better that glorious cock will feel instead. He won't admit it, but the idea of being overpowered by his partner in this most intimate way is alluring. Life has taught him to always stay on guard, never trust anyone or anything without hesitating, yet he trusts his Illumi, wholeheartedly. And that's enough to make him want to lose even his last shreds of power and dominance.

The three digits are making their way in without effort, and every muscle in his body is relaxing in a pleasant harmony of satisfying pleasure. Illumi is playing him like an instrument, and what an expert musician the assassin turned out to be.

“Illu I- I think I'm ready. I want you to fuck me baby. I want you.”

His voice is breathy and full of softness. There's something unknown in his mind, begging him to be filled with something greater, bigger. He wants to be taken whole.  
***  
Illumi will never admit it out loud, but he adores every single sharp line connected to smooth curves written into an orchestra of flexing and tensing muscles on Hisoka's body. The magician already knows himself to be a work of art; Illu has no plan to stroke his already inflated ego and admit his obsession over the mesmerizing seduction oozing out of every pore of that flamboyant man. Even the way his rib cage and abdomen rise and fall with each breath is hypnotic. Illumi is lost in a stupor admiring Hiso's bodyscape when his partner's words snap him back to reality.

Hisoka's direct request is all Illumi needs to spring into action. He sits up right, and uses his knees to part Hisoka's massive thighs apart. The magician looks delicious in this position, spread eagle and exposed just for Illumi. It's unbelievable how erotic to be the first to claim this exquisite specimen of a man, and Illumi has no intention to rush through his own indulgence as well as Hisoka's entry to supreme fulfillment by the Zoldyck.

Illumi grabs a strong yet slender ankle, and places his lips on Hisoka's skin with a wanting kiss. He sticks out his delicate tongue, charging it with a hint of Nen enough to raise goosebumps all over Hisoka's leg, from his calf, to his knee, the top of his thigh, then inner thigh. Hiso's quad muscle twitches in response to the moist yet static lick, his hips involuntarily hitches into small rolls up to Illumi's erection. The assassin continues to lift and steadies one of Hisoka's legs up, and presses his hand on his partner's other thigh to spread him down further into the bed, creating a comfortable opening for both. His lubed up cock teases at Hiso's entrance lazily, taunting each of the magician's needy hip motions.

His eyes travel from Hisoka's tiny waist up to his chiseled pecs, strong broad neck and finally, the gaze stops at Hisoka's foxy eyes. The moment they meet each other's gaze, Illumi pushes into Hisoka, locking eyes and bodies.  
***  
Illumi's eyes are the most beautiful set of obsidian stones Hisoka has ever seen, and he relishes in their uncharacteristic softness the second they reach his own golden ones. Hisoka's perfect eyebrows shoot up the second Illumi starts pushing forward, invading him with his hot flesh. Even though he was prepped with care, the assassin's cock is much bigger than his slender fingers, and the initial burn is undeniable.

Hisoka tries to relax and concentrate on the electrifying sensation of his lover's Nen traveling along his muscles. Even the burning sensation on his entrance starts feeling good as Illumi slowly but surely gets all the way into his body. The foreign sensation makes that tight ring of muscle twitch around the assassin's erection. Hisoka shudders and whines out, hoping the last traces of pain would dissolve into the scorching heat of that maddening pleasure.

“Fuck... This feels so good... Haa... Just, give me a moment, you're huge too.”  
***  
Once he manages to plunge his full length inside, Illumi finds himself buried in clouded ecstasy with black spots swirling in his vision, unable to move even if he wants to for a good while. Hisoka is so tight around him that it feels a bit dizzy at first. Even with the extra careful prep, it takes both of them a few moments to finally breathe and loosen up.

Illumi eventually exhales, panting as he slowly pulls out and thrusts back in with small movements at first. Hisoka is surprisingly quick with the uptake, and the two become a hot panting mess ramming into each other in no time. The usually snobby Zoldyck who turns up his nose at profanities and raunchy language is now moaning strings of salacious nonsense into Hisoka's neck. He doesn't care if he's going to regret letting his composed self let loose later, right now all he wants is to take all of Hisoka for himself.

With one hand pressing against the headboard to use as leverage for his aggressive moves, Illumi reaches for Hisoka's length and starts stroking his partner passionately.

“Cum for me, Hisoka, I want to see you cum…”  
***  
Everything happening is beyond erotic for Hisoka. His lover's profane words against his flustered skin, those deep, relentless thrusts getting faster and more savage by the second, and his expert hand stroking his length without mercy are all taking the magician over the edge at full speed. He holds to his partner's strong hips with both hands, desperately trying to find the slightest bit of grounding among the madness. He knows his powerful grip might be strong enough to imprint tiny bruises on that delicious pale skin, but Illumi is not showing any signs of discomfort. 

“Yes, I'm coming babe. Come with me, I wanna feel you inside.”

Hisoka's hands help deepen the movement, meeting Illumi halfway with his own hips rocking in the motion. The slick friction is delicious and his leaking hard-on is starting to throb inside his partner's hand.

One final look at his overly sensual assassin is enough to tip the magician over the edge. Every toned muscle in his body becomes tense, his toes curl and his back arches. As his orgasm explodes, shooting white all over his and his lover's abs, Hisoka's entrance tightens with the strength of his desire, gripping Illumi's cock harder than before.  
***  
Illumi's stomach spasms as soon as Hisoka ejaculates in between their intertwined bodies. Hisoka's ass tenses as he cums, the contraction pumping Illumi to his climax. He moans Hisoka's name among various incomprehensible things he does not wish to remember as he unloads all he's got into his lover. The assassin collapses onto his partner, panting, delirious from the best wake-up call he could possibly ask for.

“Are you.. are you okay, Hisoka? How are you feeling?”

Once he regains some sense back into his body, Illumi checks in on the magician. He watches as his seeds spill out slowly, drawing little creeks of pleasant memories on the valleys of Hisoka's thighs after he pulls out.  
***  
The outside world has stopped for the lovers who can hear nothing but their agitated breaths, and see nothing except for each other. Hisoka feels exhausted and full of energy at the same time. It's the wildest combination, similar only to the aftermath of a good fight with a worthy opponent. How peculiar that the only person who makes him feel like that after sparring, also happens to be Illumi. 

“I'm fine. How are you my dearest?”

Hisoka raises a hand and caresses his lover's blushed cheek. His golden eyes are glistening with a devilish spark, Hisoka is genuinely happy. It doesn't matter if after a shower the Zoldycks' eldest returns to his robotic self. This moment, the whole experience has been so wonderful that the magician wants to save it, like a movie, and play every detail in his mind every time he misses it. 

“I can't believe how beautiful you are.”

Hisoka is honest. Having someone as flawless as Illumi looking at him with such hidden endearment, stroking minimal circles on his skin... He is so undeserving, but lucky, Infinitely so.  
***  
The reciprocal response is stuck in Illumi's throat, unable to escape his prison of a mind. He wants to praise how gorgeous Hisoka is, how every single blemish on his body is to be worshiped and treasured. Yet none of that thought made its way out, clogged in a cognitive drain shrouded in self-doubt and mandated discipline.

“I'm good, this has been a fun mission. I do have to get back home immediately though, I was due back for a mission report last night and I'm awfully late now.”

Instead, Illumi starts rambling on about having to leave and how he's about to face Father's wrath. The assassin is forcing himself to disassociate and tune back into his normal business-first, workaholic, properly trained perfect Zoldyck's offspring self. A deep sorrow bores through his chest as he prepares to leave Hisoka's place, but he can't afford to show any regret in his already much-delayed departure.

Illumi tries to force his mind to clear out of his lust-filled daze, yet unable to forget the image of the haunting scar on Hisoka's left shoulder. It draws Illumi's eyes whenever he looks at the uncovered, sans-Texture Surprise Hisoka - a permanent mark he's left behind to claim the magician as his own. No, that's nonsense, they are simply business partners with a side perk, nothing more, nothing less!

“It has always been a pleasure doing business with you, Hisoka. I'm grateful we have decided to further our partnership by bonding this way. I look forward to doing it again in the future.”

Illumi turns to leave in probably the most awkward walk of shame in history. Not even one second later, his cell phone buzzes with a text from Father: "Mission report in my study. Now. You have some explaining to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome to a new chapter of this massive RP fanfiction that doesn't stop growing.  
> Thank you so much for reading, remember every comment we receive translates into a serotonin boost for the both of us!   
> We hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as we loved writing it.   
> Stay happy and healthy  
> We love you all.  
> R&K


	6. The Contract

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silva questions Illumi’s partnership with Hisoka and forbids any further communication between the two of them. Hisoka seeks Bisky’s guidance out of desperation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You run with me  
> And I can cut you free  
> Out of the drudgery and walls you keep in  
> So trade that typical for something colorful  
> And if it's crazy, live a little crazy  
> You can play it sensible, a king of conventional  
> Or you can risk it all and see  
> Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play  
> 'Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride  
> It'll take you to the other side  
> 'Cause you can do like you do  
> Or you can do like me  
> Stay in the cage, or you'll finally take the key  
> Oh, damn! Suddenly you're free to fly  
> It'll take you to the other side.”
> 
> Taken from the song “The Other Side” by Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron

Kukuroo Mountain  
Hisoka: 24 years old  
Illumi: 20 years old

The air in Silva’s study is icy. It is always set at the lowest temperature point besides only perhaps the torture chambers in his basement. This crisp cold air keeps his mind sharp, his spirit bright, and his muscles tempered. Only with discipline and clarity can one reach his full potential.

Silva sits in a pile of plush, white throw pillows against a ginormous low profile leather couch. A massive guard dog in training is cuffed and restrained on his right, a single metal chair in front of him reserved for any unfortunate soul who is summoned for interrogation or negotiation. And today, that person is his own eldest child, Illumi.

The initial post-op intel is extremely odd. Illumi has never been this sloppy ever since his early training days. Even though the job is marked as completed, there are three unintended missing persons, one in direct contact with Illumi's undercover from his mid-point mission check-in report. How did Silva's usually perfect worker slip up this much?

His dad, Zeno, and Silva himself have told Illumi numerous times by now: Assassination is a trade, not a hobby. Especially with the Family's reputation to uphold, he shouldn't have gone on a killing spree just for the fun of it. The child needs a stern reminder of his responsibility, and perhaps a nudge about why he needs to continuously prove his worthiness to bear the Family name.

“Illumi, come in.”

***  
There are a lot of facts that Illumi knows for sure. Many of those are regarding his family and the obligations that have been set upon him from early childhood. Having been summoned to his father's study is never a good sign. Illumi knows this for a fact.

He knew as well that killing those bastards wasn't going to be overlooked, but arriving this late in the morning is probably the last straw on the Zoldyck's head. Excuses dance in his mind, making a whirlwind of possibilities. But even after having another shower, he can still smell Hisoka's scent on his skin, and feel his warmth scattered across his body.

Illumi walks towards the gigantic door, pushing it open in an effortless swing, being extra careful not to slam it. He looks at his father from the entrance. Silva looks more intimidating than ever, his piercing blue eyes freeze his steps and Illumi simply stands right in front of the now-closed entrance.

“Yes, father.”

His voice sounds steady, even though his heart rate is increasing by the second. There's a dizziness gathering behind his eyes that doesn't let him think clearly. It's like standing against the executioner who has the power to destroy him. The root of his fears. The stern face of his nightmares.  
***  
“Sit down.”

Silva waves towards the uncomfortable chair, strategically placed far enough to cause discomfort in distance, and forcing out voices that vibrate and echo throughout his massive study. No whispers, no secrets, no lies ever survive in this room.

“Make yourself comfortable. We're not leaving this room until I understand why you're late for the mission report. Add three unintended missing people, one of whom can easily be traced back to you. On top of that, you had to hire extra help again? What has happened to you, Illumi?”

***

Moving forward towards the desk, Illumi sits down obedient and quiet. His father starts shooting questions at him, questions Illumi doesn't want to answer. Secrets he'd rather take with him to his grave.

“I am late for mission report because I needed to change my clothes. The hired help is good, but not as clean as I am. I pay for their services out of my own cut as always.”

Illumi lets his hands rest on his knees. He's stiff and his breathing has become shallow. This is not good, Silva is upset.

“And the three unintended kills were collateral damage.”

***

Illumi has learned to contain his emotional projection fairly well throughout the years. But underneath that calm face and even-keeled soft voice, he is still a volatile child filled with passion. What a waste of talent.

“Collateral damage? Care to elaborate on that, son?”

Silva props his elbow on his knee, giant palm supporting his powerful chin. His eldest son somehow looks nothing like him. Illumi certainly inherits the Zoldyck's skills, yet none of Silva's temperament.

“I do not mind how you choose to spend your cut. I am concerned that you have been relying on this mercenary for too long and he has become the crutch to your laziness and incompetence.”

***

Lazy and incompetent. No matter how much Illumi tries, breaking himself into pieces in the process, he somehow never rises up above his father's standards. His blood, sweat, and tears are only proof of his inability to become heir, instead of the testimony of his commitment to the family. But Silva can never find out the disgrace in which his eldest son has fallen.

“Collateral damage as in they attacked me and I retaliated.”

He states, purposefully leaving out the details and nature of the attack he suffered. His stomach twists in a knot as he remembers a fleeting flashback of the torment he went through. Suddenly overpowered by Hisoka's softness, his care, and attention. One sweet memory taking over the scars of his trauma.

“If you do not approve of me hiring help to finish my assignments faster, then I will stop doing that. Usually, it works for the better, last night was an exception.”

There's an urge inside his chest to suddenly protect Hisoka. If Silva so wanted, he could have the magician's head as decoration on his desk by tomorrow. Illumi can find other ways to see him besides missions. Especially now that the true nature of their partnership has been exposed and explored. Thoroughly.

***  
Occasional carelessness is salvageable. Dishonesty to the Family is absolutely not tolerated.

“You lack the skill to keep these mere civilians in check, and afford them the opportunity to attack you? What did grandfather and I waste years training you for then? And really, hiring Hisoka was supposed to make the jobs go faster? Yet you are almost a whole day late to get back here with a sloppy mess and trails of failures behind you. Illumi, can you even believe a single word coming out of your mouth right now?”

Silva examines Illumi's posture. Prim and proper now, sitting straight, face grim and jaws set, but the softness in his son's eyes and lips give him away instantly. His mother has given him this weakness - a tendency to allow emotions to take over their rationality. That can be advantageous for the Mother of a household, but not as a leader. Not as a Zoldyck's heir. Even back when Illumi was the only child, before any of the younger siblings arrived, Silva already knew he would never be the right choice.

“You have brought unbelievable shame to me.”

***  
Here is a barely noticeable tremor on Illumi's bottom lip. His hands are clenched tight around his knees now to prevent any unnecessary reactions to his father's words. Shame; Silva uses that word without knowing the true meaning of it.

“I let those mere civilians attack me exactly how I was told to, father. They used me in every imaginable way which I endured until the information was obtained. After, I discarded them as the useless pieces of trash they were.”

Illumi's tone is darker than usual. His cold eyes start losing focus as he tries to remain calm but there's a veil of shame -actual shame- covering them in sorrow. His own father doesn't care about him, he always knew that much. He only cares about results, and Illumi is sick of it, disgusted at himself even.

“I am perfectly capable of being a weapon for the family to use at will. But I will not use my body in that degrading manner anymore.”

His words are cold as the metal of his chair. Silva might kill him on the spot for his insolence, but even that would be better than the alternative. Hisoka might not agree with him on that, but Illumi doesn't want to be touched against his will anymore. Especially after knowing what everything felt like when there's mutual desire.

***  
The sight of his son's white knuckles and serpentine glare from those large black eyes anger Silva to no end. How far has Illumi fallen? Has he gotten attached to the idea of individualistic autonomy to the point of daring to get upset at the necessity of this Family's trade?

“You are a Zoldyck. Everything you do, everything you are, belongs to the Family. A weapon, you said. No, you're not worthy yet of being called our weapon if you still hold on to any earthly attachment or illusion of any tasks that are too ‘beneath you’. You have no idea how much I had to go through to get to where I am today. Did you think it was easy for me? No, of course, your grandfather made sure to train me into the dirt every single day the same way I do with you.”

Silva sits up straight for the first time since the beginning of their conversation, and rests his massive hands on top of his thighs, grounding himself in absolution and solid certainty.

“I can overlook the sloppiness this one time. But what about Hisoka? Why do you keep using the same hired help over and over? And if he's actually that skilled, why are you late today? You never answered my question about this.”

***  
Silva's stance resembles a feral beast ready to jump to his victim's throat at any given chance. Illumi's instincts are telling him to run away from the danger, if not physically, at least making up a clever excuse just to save himself from his father's wrath.

But he doesn't. The sound of Hisoka's name coming from his father's lips is revolting. He should have kept the magician a secret, just like the dried flower he still holds on to, lost amidst the pages of an inconspicuous book. But it's too late to go back now, and Illumi is shaking in fear and anger.

“Hisoka is more skilled than you give him credit for.” In more than one way, he thinks. "...and I trust him, that is why I hire him to assist me. I am late for mission report because I stayed over at his apartment.”

Illumi's heart is racing, there's cold sweat gathering under his palms. He's old enough to have a life, but being a Zoldyck means his life is never his own. If he could, he would scream and cry and curse at the face of his torturer. Yet, he remains still, clenching his jaw, knowing what torments might await for him just because he dares to feel... something.

***  
Having personal relations with hired help, utterly unbelievable. And Illumi dares to admit it to Silva's face too. This is the last drop that makes the cup run over.

Silva remembers the first time he was made aware of Hisoka's existence. The boy is cunning, street smart, and skilled, no doubt about it. He is a Transmuter too. Had Hisoka come from a noble background, Silva would have actually wanted to have him be a part of the family. The pair would be a powerful dual-wielded weapon for Silva, indeed.

But this flamboyant magician is no one but another Meteor City kid, destined for nothing but to serve the ranks of the Zoldyck. He was meant to be an apprentice butler after all, but his anarchist attitude led him to roam the estate and went on to seduce his son instead. Perhaps, Hisoka chose not to stay to be a butler, because he saw the golden ticket in Illumi to infiltrate this family through much easier means. Social climbers always choose to lay on their backs and spread their legs over getting up to work for real success.

Granted, a lowlife will think for themselves, selfish and short-sighted. Silva can't blame Hisoka, he had always known no one can get rid of all Meteor City traces in themselves. Even Kikyo. That is the beast in their nature, the fault of their weak bloodlines. Yet he couldn't believe Kikyo passes her weakness onto Illumi as well. He thought he could work the lingering stench of the weak and powerless out of his son, yet here they are.

“What is your intention with him? Am I to believe that it is a matter of convenience and efficiency, or are you falling prey to your emotions?”

***  
If asked a few days earlier, Illumi wouldn't have known the answer to that question. Even though his emotions are still a maelstrom of paradoxes, at least he knows that his intentions with Hisoka are far away from strictly professional. His heart squeezes into his chest, like a knife digging into his skin, thinking about the possibility of Silva finding out the truth. Hisoka is a partner, a friend, a lover.

“It is a matter of convenience and efficiency. Hisoka knows how I work, I don't have to waste time getting the basics through him. And I know he always gets the job done.”

Illumi wasn't lying. He trusted Hisoka with his life. The magician had just seen him in the most vulnerable state imaginable, and yet all he did was comfort him. Illumi realized something.

“I am not falling prey to my emotions, I am in perfect control of them.”

Yes, he is not a fool blinded by Hisoka's shine. He's fully aware now of his own feelings towards his lover. And as he finally comes to terms with his own heart, a smooth warmth caresses his soul.  
***  
Lies, deceit, smokes, and mirrors. Silva has seen it all and does not need to be lied to the face by his own eldest son.

“I've heard enough. You're grounded - I'll see to it that you'll go through adequate disciplinary exercises. A week in the basement should do.”

Silva rings the butler bell, calling Gotoh in to help escort Illumi to the torture chamber in their basement. Like usual, Illumi is to be chained up, starved, and whipped - nothing too severe. Simple capital punishment doesn't work on children once they get used to the methodology. This is merely for show, mainly to remind Illumi's siblings that no one escapes consequences. It's the emotional attachment that Silva needs to sever if he wants Illumi to snap out of his nonsense.

“You will also no longer stay in contact with this Hisoka anymore. Unless he becomes a paying client, there is no need to remain acquainted with this circus freak.”

***  
Discipline, punishment, and cruelty. Those are the things Illumi is used to. He can endure way more than a week in the basement if he has to. But he wasn't expecting the burning sensation his father's last words leave on his chest. The sharp lashes of a whip on his back are nothing compared to the way his lungs seem to be deprived of air all of a sudden at the idea of never seeing Hisoka again.

Illumi stands from the metal chair; his body acting on its own like the well-trained machine he is. He still can't believe how he talked to his father, but he's sure he'll be regretting it throughout the week.

“Yes, father.”

He hates himself for saying that. Hisoka deserves better than this submissive surrender. But there's nothing he can do about it. Fighting the will of the family is out of the question. At least being grounded for a week will give him time to think.  
***  
Silva watches as his son obediently leaves with the head butler. Indoctrination started young, but routine disciplinary exercises always help to correct inadequate results and undesirable behaviors before they become too severe and can no longer be fixed. He still has hopes in Illumi. After all, Illumi is in charge of training Killua to be the heir for the Family. Illumi does possess all the right skill sets to be an excellent teacher. His impurity and eruptive emotion would be the only obstacle preventing him from being a candidate to take over the Zoldyck's legacy.

Gotoh reports back to the study shortly after chaining Illumi up. The man is well trained and remains loyal to Silva. He does have a soft spot for the smaller children but has no reservation aiding in corrective actions for the older Zoldycks.

“Gotoh, I need your help in closing the loop on this situation. I want you to collect Illumi's cell phone and deactivate his number. Then you shall contact a Morrow, Hisoka, and let him know to cease all future contact with Illumi at once. If he ever reaches out to us again, it would be through you, and only for business inquiries. No exception.”

The head butler nods and takes a bow before leaving Silva's study to carry out his request. Silva sighs, finally able to lean back and sinks into his couch as Gotoh is gone. Having the responsibility to be sensible, tough, and fair is no easy feat. It does take a toll on even the most capable assassin alive to simply keep his children in check. Taking out a whole nation's government is nothing compared to handling the Zoldyck's household daily affairs.

***

Hisoka paces around his Heaven's Arena suite, biting his acrylic nails as the disconnected tone rings obnoxiously from the phone in his hand. Of course, they would disconnect Illumi's phone and cut off all means of contact between the two of them. Maybe this is going to call for a visit back to Kukuroo mountain. This time, perhaps Hisoka will be the knight in shining armor rescuing his beloved royalty and not succumb to poisoned darts.

As he runs into his walk-in closet, Hisoka trips over himself with a new realization. What if this is exactly what Silva expects? His sudden appearance at the mansion will only double whatever punishment the Zoldycks have laid out for Illumi, and will only get Hisoka killed. Yes, he can definitely take on Silva now, but not without struggles. It would be a good fight indeed, but there is no guarantee to rescue Illumi. And that is way too much risk even for Hisoka to take on.

Hisoka sits down on a pile of clothes, and thumbs furiously on his phone. Bisky is about to receive a flood of fifty texts, but he doesn't care. She is the only one who knows about Illumi and him and can offer some genuine advice to help solve this mess. Hisoka is desperate to grab onto anything, a glimpse of hope for a solution of any kind at this point.

.... "And that's all their butler said to me. They already deactivated Illumi's number so I can't reach him directly anymore. I'm more than sure that they currently have him locked up somewhere in that pretentious hell hole of a house anyway. What do I do, Bisky? Help!!"  
***

It is a lovely afternoon for organizing and cleaning a glowing collection of shiny gemstones, and that's exactly what Bisky is doing while a fresh kettle of hot water finishes brewing her tea. The sound of her cellphone startles her at first. But she knows it's Hisoka. She set up a cute happy ringtone for his messages so she wouldn't ignore her dear friend. A text from him is always welcome, and it brings a smile to her face. That's until another one arrives. And then another. And many more.

“Oh, oh. That can't be good.”

She sets her collection aside and removes her gloves. When the screen of her phone shows her the multitude of texts she knows something is very wrong indeed. Those damn Zoldycks, why can't they let Illumi be happy? And now her friend is in terrible pain and desperate. The whole situation makes her angry enough to disrupt her aura. Still, she needs to be calm and collected. Hisoka needs her.

"My darling I'm so sorry that happened! Please try to stay calm, nothing good will come out of rash, angry decisions. Do you want me to call you? Of course, you can come over or I can go to you if you prefer. I can help you figure something out."

Bisky bites her nails too, waiting for his answer. Her tea might be getting ruined before she even remembers about it, but Hisoka is all she can think of. His well-being is a priority she has accepted gladly. And there's a lot of rules she's willing to bend to grant him happiness.  
***  
Within the hour, the magician appears at Bisky's door. He walks himself in like usual, she knows his aura and doesn't mind him coming in unannounced anymore. Plus, there is no time to waste. Hisoka collapses into Bisky's chair, eyes wet and legs trembling. Even the calming fragrance of freshly brewed tea and the sight of Bisky's stunning gemstone collection can't calm him down. He needs to do something, and quickly to hopefully see Illumi again, but he doesn't know what or how.

“Please, Bisky, you have always had the best ideas. Short of storming Kukuroo mountain and breaking Illumi out, what other options do I have to see him again?”

Hisoka drops his head of tousled red hair into his massive hands, sobbing softly.  
***  
The usually overly confident magician is crumbling apart in front of Bisky, and her heart is breaking for him as well. Someone who has suffered so much in life already shouldn't have to go through this level of emotional pain. Ever. Life is so unfair sometimes.

Bisky crutches in front of him, straightening her dress in the process. She holds his trembling hands and gently makes him look at her.

“We will figure this out, dear. Tell me exactly what that butler told you before.”

Her grip on his hands grows in tenderness and comfort. She's a reassuring presence for him, and nothing will deter her from helping out her dear friend.

“We will figure this out. I'm here for you, and always will be.”

***  
Bisky's hands feel warm and reassuring on his, but Hisoka can't stop himself from shaking. He looks up at his friend, voice cracked and wet with tears.

“Like I told you in my flood of texts, I haven't been able to reach Illumi at all. Suddenly, Gotoh called me this morning. He said Illumi is now facing consequences for subpar mission results from working with me. That's basically Zoldyck's code for ‘Illumi's being tortured for daring to have a healthy partnership outside of the family’. Then he said that I cannot get in touch with Lumi at all from here on out. He even dared to say that if I ever contact the Zoldyck family again, it'd better be as a client looking to book a job.”

With that, Hisoka wipes his tears and sighs. He feels more useless than ever, perhaps for the first time in his adulthood, for not coming up with cunning solutions on the spot. Perhaps the Zoldycks are right. Having a deep connection with someone does cloud your intuition and common senses after all. He can't eat, can't sleep, can't stop thinking about Illumi no matter how hopeless the situation is becoming.

“What should I do, Bisky? I can't go on without seeing him.”

***  
Hisoka's tears are falling in a cascade of emotions against his flushed face. His trembling body makes him seem weak and helpless, and for a second, Bisky wonders why it is called a broken heart if it hurts all over.

The hunter stands up from her crouched position and standing beside him, she surrounds his massive frame with her tiny disguised arms. If she could, she would squeeze the pain away from him, but she settles for constructing a safe space for her broken friend.

“Hiso, sweetheart... I don't think we can do anything about Illumi's punishment right now. But he's strong, you know he'll be fine. You need to stay strong too.”

Her voice lowers to almost a whisper as she ponders on her next answer.

“However... What do you think of booking a job with an assassin?”

***  
Hisoka blinks, unable to see Bisky clearly through his damp long lashes. What is Bisky trying to say? Usually, the two catch on with each other's ideas instantly, and he doesn't need much help finishing Bisky's sentence. But today, his poor mind is wrecked with a thunder of emotions too invasive to bear. He needs his kind friend to spell it out.

“What do you mean? I can always take care of my own pest, I relish in it so of course, I don't ever need to get the Zoldyck to kill anyone for me. What would be an excuse for me to hire them for? Unless it's an insane heist like back at the Met Museum, they don't take on any simple missions. Their fees are ridiculously high as well, so even if I find an excuse I can most likely only afford one meeting with Illumi per year, and that's nowhere near enough.”

***  
Even though he's practically rambling, Hisoka is making extremely valid points. The Zoldycks do have ridiculously high fees, and Hisoka would never skip on the opportunity to take care of an enemy. Still, Bisky's mind is racing against all odds, fighting for giving her friend a chance at happiness. She knows that a love-ridden Hisoka would probably rather die than risk spending the rest of his life without his beloved assassin. Even though she doesn't approve of his way of thinking, they can use it to their advantage.

“Listen to me. What if you made a deal with Illumi, in which you provide the Zoldycks a worthy bounty instead of just a fee. And, the chance to get rid of someone most of the household hates?”

She smiles and a faint note of mischief escapes her tiny mouth.

“Hire Illumi to kill you.”

***  
Hisoka stares at Bisky silently for several moments as if she is a madwoman. Of course, she is insane, who else would want to be friends with a miserable twisted creature like himself?

Yet, his clever friend is onto something truly big per her usual intelligent self. Hisoka sits up straight, puts a finger on his no longer trembling lips, and verbalizes out loud his thoughts.

“Indeed! We might have some rough diamonds there. I remember Silva's game of tag when he was interviewing me for the butler role. We could employ a similar exercise where Illumi is tasked to successfully assassinate me. He will have to pursue me, which would give us opportunities to meet up and experiment on new ways to semi-murder me. Then, in the matter of finances - even if I pay half the fees as a deposit, I won't have to cough up the rest until my death. I mean, if I do die by Illumi's hand, he can have any and all of my money anyway.”

Hisoka chuckles, cherishing the absurdity of this plan. It is as odd as both Illumi and himself, the two outcasts who belong together as they are both abandoned by any hope for a normal loving life.

“Dying by his hand would be the best way for me to go. Plus, his commission can be my entire fortune so if he succeeds he can at least spend my Heaven's Arena’s earnings as he wishes. Sounds like what a rich spouse would leave behind for his widow! Don't you think this is in a way the most morbidly fascinating assassination ever?”

***

“It certainly is. A crazy plan for two insane lovers; it's almost poetic.”

She moves a few steps away from him for the first time since he's got to the apartment. The fresh kettle of tea is ready, so Bisky brings it to the coffee table between them on her favorite porcelain set. The hunter looks at her friend who seems to have gained all his trust and self-confidence back with the new plan in mind. She sighs in relief. Watching the "Grim Reaper'' of Heaven's Arena fall apart in her arms is something she doesn't care to experience again. Funny how love can break even the strongest, most armored of us in the blink of an eye.

“Alright, my dear. Let's consider all the details and elaborate a written piece for those awful Zoldycks to read. They will absolutely fall for it; you're a prize too big to ignore. And I don't know how much Silva knows about your relationship with his eldest, but, I can only guess that he is aware of most of it being not-professional. Otherwise, he wouldn't have severed his contact with the outside world. So be prepared for a confrontation.”

***  
The potential challenge now only gets Hisoka excited. Just like that, Bisky has led him to see there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel. He simply needs to get back to his usual self, figure out all possible obstacles, and solve this Rubik's cube. Heart swelling with hope and head cleared from imminent gloom, the magician immediately regains his typical chatty mood to discuss multiple scenarios of how the situation could unfold with his Double Star Hunter friend, munching away on pastries and tea.

The pair plots and plans deep into the night until they have crossed all their Ts and dotted all their Is. Hisoka's phone call to the Zoldyck's mansion goes without a hitch. There was a fat gap of silence as the elders discussed Hisoka's proposal. Eventually, his sizable earnings from Heaven's Arena convince Illumi's grandfather to sign off on the pitch. There is no doubt Silva protests at the beginning, but he himself wants to prove his own rational decision-making to his father. What a vicious cycle of generational torment, yet it's helpful when one needs to find a loophole to crack the Zoldyck's mysterious system.

Hisoka sleeps over in Bisky's guest room that night. Three more days and he gets to see his favorite assassin again.  
***  
Hisoka arrives at Kukuroo mountain and manages to find the local arboretum with ease. The head butler did mention that there would be two escorts tagging along, but at this rate, Hisoka is happy to see and talk to Illumi no matter how many people might be there. From the look of it, however, the Zoldyck crew's arrival effectively sends the crowd at the arboretum away. Tourists and locals alike love looking at the Zoldyck's mansion from afar. Noone has the death wish to get close to an actual member of the family. Except for a deranged magician, of course.

A tall, lean man in a black suit shows up first, his expression stoic and rigid, a trademark Zoldyck's look. Thankfully, he only verifies Hisoka's identity and swiftly recons the perimeter before stepping off to a respectful distance to use his walkie-talkie. He never has his back turned to Hisoka, his situational awareness on high alert and understandably so, but he does not seem to be interested in staying close enough to eavesdrop. At the very least, he has the grace to show a bit of subtlety.

A minute or two later, two other figures appear from the distant tree line. First, an older woman with gray hair, smartly arranged into two pigtails. She wears a monocle in addition to the typical black butler suit. Calm, collected, wise, and no-nonsense, she also stays back within the same distance as the first man.

And finally, the person Hisoka has been pining for. Almost a decade of knowing Illumi, yet every single time, and especially today, Hisoka can't help but feel a violent whirlwind of butterflies in his stomach whenever they meet. The moment his assassin comes into view, Hisoka holds his breath. He feels his lips parting into his usual grin, yet his eyes feel wet.

“Hi, Illumi.”

***  
Even though he'd never admit it, there was an invisible hand grabbing Illumi by the throat every time he thought of Hisoka. For a moment, he truly thought that seeing him again was going to be impossible, but the assassin wasn't counting with the desperate measures his associate would take.

As soon as he gets to the meeting point escorted by the butlers his father has appointed, his wide eyes travel around the landscape, searching for the colorful spot of sunshine he so much misses. Maybe it's just his imagination, but Hisoka looks even more handsome than before, and the grin spread across his beautiful face makes the assassin want to run forward to claim a kiss from those soft, plump lips. It's mystifying, the way a magnetic pull seems to envelop the two in a blizzard of invisible sparks. Illumi stands before him, expertly masking his emotions, but still, feeling his heart about to pour from the corners of his eyes.

“Hello, it has been a while.”

***  
Hisoka bows and flourishes as if he's performing for a sold-out Heaven's Arena, mostly to stay in character in front of the two butlers watching from afar. He turns around and walks in front, leading Illumi and his unwanted chaperones towards a quiet, shady nook tucked into a remote corner of the arboretum. It's a beautiful garden filled with a selection of stunning ground orchids, and a calm relaxing stream bubbling away on multi-colored accent boulders.

The magician carefully keeps a few paces between himself and the assassin, creating a sensible show for the Zoldyck tag-alongs. He speaks first, voice low and soft, facing forward, fearing his professional facade would crumble if he looks at Illumi right now.

“You look well, even though I can still see the bruises through the makeup. How are you holding up, dear?”

Hisoka reaches his left arm up, slender fingers brushing lush budding branches overhead as the pair strolls along amidst the rumbling sound of flowing water.

“I thought I could never see you again until Bisky came up with this wild contract idea. I'm sure your father and grandfather have briefed you on some of the details.”

Slowing down the pace, Hisoka glances and catches a glimpse of Illumi's side profile. The most handsome creature on earth is walking right next to him.

“A legally binding contract, to the death. But are you up for it?”

***  
As they begin to walk, Illumi allows himself to get lost in the drunken sweetness coming from Hisoka's scent. The assassin spent his time away from his associate thinking they were never going to see him again, trying to get rid of the confusion bubbling in his heart. And now, after a single glance of those sparkling golden eyes, the turmoil is back.

“I am fine. It has not been easy to tell the truth, but I am used to it.”

Illumi absent-mindedly runs a finger through the places where he knows his bruises are more evident. A cold wave of shame permeates his facade knowing Hisoka has noticed them.

The mention of Bisky and the contract brings him back to reality. That life, hanging out with Hisoka as they trained with the experienced hunter seems so far away now. His attempt at a normal life surrounded by light has been cut down from the roots by his father's hand.

“Yes, I thought it was way too clever to be your idea alone.”

He teases, but with his monotone voice and empty face, he's not sure if the line comes out in a joking manner. Illumi is broken, again, like a trained animal deprived of the will of action.

“If it is what it takes, then, I am up for anything.”

***  
Hisoka stops in front of a bench, pausing to watch a leaf spinning aimlessly down the peaceful stream circling a bed of bright orchids. He turns away from Illumi, hiding his obvious frustration. When he's around the assassin, it does get increasingly difficult to conceal his emotional reaction. And right now, neither Illumi nor the two spying butlers need to know how exasperated Hisoka truly is.

After all that they have been through together, and even a lifetime contract in exchange for an occasional meetup, Illumi is yet to return any of the magician's affection.

“Not clever at all if I'm truly paying my whole life's fortune to have a deadly assassin to murder me.”

Hisoka finally responds, a tinge of bitterness seeping in his usual honey-glazed tone. A sudden breeze weaves through the rustling green branches above, winding down towards the flowing water, kissing Illumi's skin and playing with his waterfall of black, silky hair. The wind dances towards Hisoka, teasing at his neck. Along with a welcoming cool touch on his skin, the air enveloping his body is now intensely filled with Illumi's scent. Hisoka's sorrow is attacked with a sweet brutal reminder, his mind immediately recalling the tender minutes their bodies intertwined and the way Illumi's smell lingered on him for hours even after he left. That exact look of confused devotion when Illumi blinks awake after emptying all of himself into Hisoka. The moment when they became one.

The magician sighs. He is fully aware that his initial thought is childish. With knowledge of the Zoldyck's family and Illumi, Hisoka should have known not to expect a rush of explosive warmth nor festive celebration at this point. Being able to see his Illumi at all is a miracle in itself.

He turns around and looks at Illumi. Like always, the assassin is even-keeled, perfectly poised, immovable. Hisoka will have to shoulder the intensity of passion for both of them.  
***  
The river runs wild, undeterred by anything on its path, for a second, Illumi wishes he could be like water, to flow unrestrained towards the sea that's Hisoka's warmth. He doesn't want to kill his magician, but for the sake of staying close to that addictive ray of sunshine, he's surely willing to try.

“I am also risking my life in this contract, but rest assured that I am only agreeing to it because I consider the arrangement worth it.”

A hug, a kiss, any display of affection or passion is out of the question. Illumi wants to convey his longing, the desperate need to see him again. There's no bruise or broken rib that hurts more than this distant closeness.

He looks at the man in front of him, and his cold eyes get a glimpse of the fire burning in his heart. With a subtle gesture, Illumi moves the collar of his shirt away from his neck. Just enough for Hisoka to notice the delicate chain in which the assassin usually wears the pendant from the heist at the Met.

“I am grateful for the opportunity of working together again. Even if the circumstances are less than ideal.”

***  
Grinning from ear to ear again, Hisoka appreciates the subtle show Illumi is putting on for him. Just a flash of that porcelain skin peeking from the collar of the assassin's shirt is already enough to send Hisoka's mind into a frenzy. And of course, Illumi is wearing the lapiz pendant the magician stole for him a few years ago. An intentional choice of jewelry to affirm his intention without alerting the clueless butlers meandering awkwardly nearby. How silly of Hisoka to have doubted his favorite assassin!

“I'm glad. We can proceed to sign off the final contract then. After that, I'm sure you will need to start traveling and actively tracking me down with your usual means.”

This should mean Illumi will gain back his relative freedom as before. He is still tethered to the Zoldyck's mothership, but at least the chain is somewhat loosened and no longer taut on Illumi's neck.

The pair stand in silence, acknowledging the easy mutual comfort in each other's presence. A monarch butterfly flutters by, flashing its short-lived beauty in the fading sun. The show of their lifetime has just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to a new chapter! We surely hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as we loved writing it.   
> We get the most incredible serotonin rush with every comment, so please keep feeding us with your feedback and thank you so much for your endless support.   
> Stay happy and healthy.   
> K&R


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